Open Letter Thursday...

Assembly_Reqd · September 2012

Write those letters here you would never dream of sending.....It feels soooo good to get it out of you system!

bumpuser511563 · September 2012

DH,

Thank you for coming around and being yourself again! You were down since DS's eval. And yesterday, you were very lovable with DS and I.

On top of that you have stopped talking to your family for over 2 weeks. This is also good because MIL would always come between our marriage causing us to butt heads. You don't need them anymore. And I am proud of you for taking this big step.

Your wife

Florak8 · September 2012

DS,

When are you going to be the loving child I used to know? Ever since you hit 2.5 you have been so hot and cold. You used to love aquatic therapy and today you tried to bite the therapist. I am so sad, frustrated, and confused. I know your mobility and speech limitations make life frustrating. I try to help you express yourself. I just hope that someday soon you will go back to being the child I can trust to be friendly and sweet wherever we go. And I pray that, if I am supposed to be doing something differently, somebody throws me a bone.

Love ya,

Mom

ABColeslaw · September 2012

Dear MIL,

Thank you for telling everyone and their next door neighbor that your grandchild is Autistic`. We were starting to wonder why people are uncomfortable around us and him now. We can't tell you how grateful we are for your lack of boundaries. What would we do without you?

Shayna0182 · September 2012

Dear Ds,

While I love giving you your baths, I do not appreciate you going limp while trying to bite me and screaming just because I tell you bathtime is over. I also do not appreciate you splashing water all over the bathroom. I get it, you love water.

Your worn out mommy

MaxandRuby · September 2012

DH,

I know you are deployed and we are on opposite time schedules right now. I'm stressed out and really really really need you to respond to my email. I would like your input in regards to DS2 and it is something that I apparently have to have decided tomorrow (found out today).

I do not care if you call me at 3am to discuss this, just please respond because trying to figure out what to do is driving me crazy!

Me

DS2,

I get that you are almost 3, have a mind of your own, are becoming aware of what you want and don't want, and that your language skills have greatly improved to where you can tell me "I doh wan dis". But seriously dude, I can do without the screaming hissy fit when you don't get your way. It will never be cute.

Your mother

d.f · September 2012

Dear Friend of a Friend on FB,

Thank you for apologizing, deleting, and feeling ashamed about using the R word in a disgustingly derogatory manner. However, I don't think you understand. I get that it was "just" a joke and our friend dude I went to grade school with probably wasn't offended. Like I said even when said in private it has this pesky way of continuing to be socially accepted and it devalues people. It sets the stage for bullying and worse. I really hope you thought about what I wrote.

Thanks,
The lady who pretty much said all that
_____________________

Dear self,

I'm kind of proud of you. You said something in a mature manner and hopefully random friend of a friend actually thought about it and wasn't just embarrassed about being called out. I know you're shy and hate confrontation but you spoke up instead of just stewing. It's a step.

Maybe just maybe you can get over your fears/insecurities and be a decent advocate for your kid because you kinda have to.

Sincerely,
The Lady who is officially weirded out by talking about herself in the third person.

PS. That second one was more of an AW than a letter. Wrong thread

pixie76 · September 2012

DS,

You are my world. I have no idea if I am making the right decision for you regarding your therapy. You are my lovey. I am so happy to hear you singing the ABC's....most people wont recognize it, but I know it. We have been singing you that song 8 thousand times a day for the past year, as you love it so. My heart hurts and I feel I may have failed you. Your mama and I have been trying to get you the best therapy available. I love that I can hear you babble on the monitor as your on your way to dream land. You melt my heart each and every time you look at me and smile. I'm sorry I don't always know what you want. I try my hardest and am working on getting a sensory diet that will work for you. I am so very sorry that the word autistic scares me. I know that you will do amazing things as you grow and I look forward to each and every day we have learning together.

You are my heart,

Mommy

CaptainSerious · September 2012

Dear Child Study Team,

I appreciate your thoroughness, but sometimes that can actually be a fault. Why did you have my child submit to over 10 hours of evaluations throughout the summer and string us along since June, if you knew he was not eligible for services since he's only been exposed to English for 6 months and has never been educated in this country?

I think you are looking for a reason to disqualify him, and the reasons you gave don't sound legal to me. Once I've completed my research, I'll be back in touch.

Talk to you soon!

Mami I-May-Not-Be-100-Years-Old-But-I-Wasn't-Born-Last-Night

zoeyandsummersmom · September 2012

Dear DD,
Please eat. Please. I have started to call you Ghandi for your refusal to eat. Are you holding out for chocolate? If you are, it is yours. Really, anything you want. If you will eat it, is yours. Seriously. Just please eat. I am losing my patience.

Love,
Mom

wellfleet04 · September 2012

Dear Old School Kindy Gym Teacher:

Telling my DD, in front of the entire class, that she needs to "practice" her jumping is NOT HELPFUL. OF COURSE she needs to practice, that's why she's got an IEP for PT and OT. SHE CANNOT DO JUMPING JILLS YET!! And no amount of "practice" or singling her out as needing such is going to change that. It just makes her feel bad.

Please take a glance at her IEP, and figure out a way to help her reach her goals, not highlight her delays. She's two weeks in to kindergarten and already dreads gym because "the teacher knows I can't do things and tells everyone about it."

UGH!

Signed, me

wellfleet04 · September 2012

-auntie-:
wellfleet04:

Dear Old School Kindy Gym Teacher:

Telling my DD, in front of the entire class, that she needs to "practice" her jumping is NOT HELPFUL. OF COURSE she needs to practice, that's why she's got an IEP for PT and OT. SHE CANNOT DO JUMPING JILLS YET!! And no amount of "practice" or singling her out as needing such is going to change that. It just makes her feel bad.

Please take a glance at her IEP, and figure out a way to help her reach her goals, not highlight her delays. She's two weeks in to kindergarten and already dreads gym because "the teacher knows I can't do things and tells everyone about it."

UGH!

Signed, me

You need some facetime with this woman or a phone call at the very least.

She may not even realize your child has an IEP. Seriously. They generally get a copy to the classroom teachers, but sometimes the "specials"- gym, art, music, computer and library teachers- aren't included in the distribution.

You could always use this infomation to get your DD set up with an APE class instead or in addition.

Since we're sharing notes-

This is the note I got the first week of band camp when DS was in 9th grade and having a difficult time adjusting. Camp starts the second week of August, 3 weeks ahead of the first day of school. The middle school transferred over his IEP but it wasn't yet distributed to the teachers when they reported for their back-to-school inservice days.

To the parents of DS:

It has become apparent that DS does not wish to be a member of the Marching Band at North HS. He puts minimal effort into rehearsals, showing a lack of enthusiasm that is obvious to everyone. Today, ten minutes after lunch break, he asked to use the bathroom, extending this break to unusual length, missing important rehearsal time.

When 99% of the band is working their tails off to form an exciting and entertaining precision unit, the missed steps and and lackadaisical attitude one member can be detrimental to the entire band.

May I suggest that DSiver might be happier in the Concert Band, which has all the musical benefits of Marching Band, but does not have such a rigorous practice schedule.

Please contact me or Mr. S via Email; or you can call me at home (215) 345-XXXX, or at school (215) 944-XXXX.

Sincerely, Mr. B, Assistant Marching Band Director

(note that Mr. Azzhat didn't even extend me the courtesy of looking up my freakin' name even though it's readily available through school records and band registration.)

Here's the email I actually wrote back (names changed to protect the innocent)

Dear Mr. S,

            I read with concern Mr. B?s e-mail regarding DS's attitude and behavior at camp. We are surprised at this report because at home he has been positive about the camp experience, happily sharing stories of how his day has gone. We were under the impression that, while he is struggling to step up to the higher expectations of high school, he is enjoying himself.

When I collected DS at the end of the day he was entirely unaware that his attitude and behavior have been unacceptable, though he did admit confiding that he was frustrated after lunch.

            My husband and I shared the e-mail with DS. While discussing the situation with him, he confessed that he had been having a difficult day and has no desire to leave the band.

            I?m never sure of what paperwork reaches teachers when DS transitions to a new school. DS is an IEP student classified under autism. He has Aspergers Syndrome and struggles with social skills. He takes longer to transition to new routines and expectations. This is something we have been working to improve both at school and at home.

            It is our hope that DS will find a place in your marching band because of the social nature of the program. Other parents we know have high praise for the manner in which your program is run and the benefits it has had for their own children. We are hoping that marching band would be the means by which DS would be able to find a place in his new school where he can be socially successful and accepted. Obviously, we want DS to become an asset to the group. As such we are willing to help in any way you feel appropriate.

And yeah, I copied the principal and the head of special education services for the district. It's important to understand that this was a mainstream class from which they were trying to dismiss him for a manifestation of his disability. Even if it had been an extra-curricular activity, his IEP protected his right to participate fully. These two clowns spent a year ducking behind bushes whenever I was around. I joined their parents' association and was elected to the executive board. (For those who read the story about the band mom doing imitations of DS for the amusement of other parents, this was the same week) I did become rather friendly with them over time, but I think they knew that I knew I had them by the short and curlies.

Thanks. I never know how much is too much to push given that it's week two (it was also my kid who was made fun of at the school picnic), or who has what information about her. This is my first child in the public school system, so it's been a learning curve (she received outpatient services at 3 and 4 yo).

I spoke with her classroom teacher about it and wrote a letter to the gym teacher. She's a very old school, tough gym teacher. She dressed my friend's kid down in front of the class for calling it "gym" rather than "fitness and health." Really, lady? Week two of kindy? Talk about a silly power trip... Mostly I just want her to leave DD alone. I don't have much confidence that she'll be helpful, but she shouldn't get in the way or be harmful emotionally, either.

wellfleet04 · September 2012

-auntie-:
Sorry your gym teacher is "old school". I wonder why she's stuck in elementary if she's "old school"? I assume that means she's no 23 year old new hire.

As in all things, there's a pecking order to PE. The top spot is, understandably, high school. In a lot of districts, new hires for all but the super high profile coaching spots start in elementary and work their way up. In 13 years of school, DS has had one PE instructor who was in elementary because she likes little kids. One of the instructors DS had in elementary was a new hire in 4th grade at the elementary school; he also did "the talk" about puberty for the boys in elementary. The teacher moved to middle school and was there in 7th when DS arrived for a semester of health. DS had him again for mandatory swimming in 9th, mandatory health in 10th and finally for drivers ed as a senior. They sort of grew up together. The thing is, I didn't realize it was the same teacher because he has a really common last name.

PE was hard for my kid in the early grades, aside form the sensory (next to the smally cafeteria) and processing issues, the PE played the sort of blasting techno pop one normally associates with gay nightclubs. It was chaos. It got better as he got older.

Yeah, she is not 23 or even 43. I have no idea why she's still there, honestly. All of the kids think she is "mean" and "serious" which is kind of ridiculous for gym (err...health and fitness). I'm sure PE and recess will be her biggest struggles this year, regardless of the teacher, but it's a real shame she's so rigid.

Florak8 · September 2012

Dear DH,

What is the opposite of "kissing the blarney stone" called? Because you did that.

After an extended weekend of horrible behavior from DS, work, and grad school, all by myself while you had a guys vacation weekend and I did not complain once, do NOT say to me first thing when I pick you up at the airport, "Well, I bet your weekend was not as bad as _____'s wife, cuz she has three kids!"

And then do not get pissy when I say, "Oh, does she work outside the home? Or is she in school? Or do her kids have special needs?"

Dude. No words.

Want a personalized experience?

Open Letter Thursday...

Re: Open Letter Thursday...

Choose Another Board

Search Boards