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April 2012 Moms
lsmith100
member
I think I'm going to quit sleep training (sorry-long)
lsmith100
member
Let me preface this by saying that we have gotten desperate for sleep, thus decided to start sleep training. I have been against CIO methods from the beginning, but nothing else has worked. So, we thought we would give it a go.The past 2 nights we have been trying the Ferber Method (CIO w/checking in intervails). The 1st night he cried for 25 min and fell asleep. He woke to eat at around 3am and was back asleep before he finished the bottle. He was slightly cranky yesterday but nothing terrible. Last night he cried for 8 min and fell alseep. He woke up at 12:30am and cried hard and nonstop until 1:30am. At that point I couldn't handle it anymore and I got up and fed him a bottle. He ate and was still awake. I put him back down awake and he didn't cry, but fussed for about 20 min and then fell asleep. He has been in the worst mood all day and all he wants to do is sleep and cry. I feel terrible! I feel like maybe he is not ready for it, or its just not the right method. I feel like a terrible mother for letting him cry. I don't know what to do. I don't think I can go through with it again tonight. All my friends have sworn by CIO methods and thats what our pedi suggested. I know it works for alot of people, I just don't think its right for ME! Am I giving up to early or what do you guys think? Help!
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Re: I think I'm going to quit sleep training (sorry-long)
What are your goals for sleep training? Initially, we did Ferber to only help with bedtime. Bedtime had become a 2 or 3 hour long cycle of nursing and rocking to sleep. It sounds like the Ferber Method is working for you all for bedtime. 25 minutes and 8 minutes is really not that long at all in terms of crying compared to what some parents have to go through.
Maybe he's just not ready for sleep training throughout the night? I still get up with my little guy once a night. He goes to bed at 7 p.m., wakes around 4 for a feeding, and then goes back to sleep until about 7 a.m. I only feed around the 4 a.m. waking. If he wakes at another time, DH goes in to pat him or we let him fuss it out. Of course, there's always variables like illness, stuck in a corner of his crib, teething, etc. that lead to breaks in routine.
This. When we did CIO, he was very grumpy for the 1st few days as he was getting the hang out self-soothing. However, now that he sleeps well and can put himself back to sleep, he's the happiest most chill baby. He's totally different than pre-sleep training. It did take a few days though. But if you aren't comfortable doing it, then don't, because parental consistency is key in it working.
ETA: Also, not just because of parental consistency. I realize that may have come off as harsh. You shouldn't do anything that upsets you or you feel isn't right for your child, even if all your friends swear by it. All kids are different.
I'm sorry you're having so much trouble- it's heart breaking and exhausting, I'm sure. And that only makes things worse.
I would preface with- do you BF? What is LO's schedule normally? Is it that bad that you need sleep training?
I EBF and LO has a 5hr stretch then wakes to BF every 2-3hrs after that. I don't mind- he only nurses for about 15min and we're back to sleep lickety split. Eventually he'll be eating more food and sleeping through the night. Eventually **THEY ALL sleep thru the night.** I don't see the need to torture myself or my child with CIO methods- and, personally, our sleep schedule works for us- so far. Should it not work for us, I would look into other options.
That begin said. Do What Works For You. If CIO/sleep training isn't working for you. Or maybe not working 'right now'- shelve it for a bit. Maybe you'll want to try it again in a few weeks. In the meantime, it's ok if you just take a break for sanity sake. You're only human
Exactly this.
Hope you find something that works and feels right for you and the little one.
After reading your second post, it sounds like the night waking might be because he isn't filling up during the day . I know it is easier said than done, but if you can get him to do full feedings during the night, he might go longer stretches at night.
DS wakes during the night if I can't get him to focus enough on doing full feeds during the day. I know he typically needs between 30-32 oz. right now to sleep from around 11pm-6-7 am. When he is hungry, but super interested in EVERYTHING during the day , I have to try multiple things to get him to focus on feeding - keeping the room quiet, removing stimulation. Sometimes, I even have to put him in his swing and " turn his switch off" so to speak. I gently bounce the swing, stroke his forehead and give him his pacifier. Once I get him settled, I try the bottle again. It usually works 9 times out of 10. When he wakes in the morning, he takes 6 oz. His next bottles are about every 3-4 hours and between 4-5oz. The last two feedings are 6 oz bottles and he takes them when drowsy. For the daytime feedings, Imhave to use a faster flow nipple. The last two bottles before bed, I use a slower flow since he is drowsy and tends to choke on the faster flow. Just thought I would share in case any of this might help. Hope you all get some sleep soon!
Using the Ferber method to help baby go to sleep is not the same thing as helping them eliminate night feedings. It's a separate chapter in the book. If your baby is hungry in the MOTN, you need to feed them. If you want to night ween them, you need to do it gradually. Did you read the entire book? I would make sure you check that out.
Hang in there. Give it some time. And ultimately, if you're not comfortable with it, find something else that works for you.
this. David goes down at 6, I feed him at 11 and 5 because that's when he wakes up and I know he's hungry. We did CIO a few weeks ago and he's been falling asleep great every night. However, sometimes he does have multiple night wakings. It's not unusual for babies this young to wake up sometimes.
Also, if LO wasnt able to self soothe, you would be dealing with crying for a lot longer than 8 minutes. I say stick with it. If its still hard after 4-5 days, try again in a few weeks. Good luck.
MOTN feedings are totally normal, even up to 10 months or so. Weissbluth of Health Sleep Habits mentions that 1-2 feedings per night is normal. I think you are doing the right thing by getting him to go to sleep on his own. He is probably waking up because he is hungry. I would feed him.
DD1 didn't SSTN till she was 10 months old and we did CIO at 4.5 months for bedtime only. She was still up every 2-3 hours and then eventually dropped the feedings on her own.
DD2 goes down easily and used to STTN or at least only have 1 waking and now with teething, having a cold and being 4 months old, she is up 2-3 times a night. She wakes up at different times each night and always seems starving, so I feed her.