Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: Can we talk about weight gain??
My MFM was very insistent on 20 lbs by 20 weeks and I'm pretty sure I was 15 lbs or maybe a little less. I was also sick the first 14ish weeks and then just not hungry. They sent me to a nutritionist (I had to pay OOP and was mad about it) which was surprisingly a huge help. Focusing on protein helped and she had good suggestions about what to eat - things I wouldn't have thought about, like fast food breakfasts have tons of protein and she didn't care about the fat. Breakfast was a meal I tended to be hungry for so it worked. At night I would make protein shakes with protein powder, ice cream, peanut butter and chocolate syrup. It was easier to drink those calories than eat them.
I gained about 40lbs total and had two 6lb 12oz'ers at 37 weeks - I have to believe the protein contributed to that.
All to say - it's not too late for your to keep gaining weight and I would suggest a nutritionist and one who knows about multiple pregnancies. Good luck!
after 10 weeks of bedrest for contractions and shorting cvx they arrived at 32 weeks!
TTC since 2005
missed miscarriage nov 2006- 4 failed clomid cycles-
3 failed femara iui cycles-
moving on to IVF oct 2011
ER nov. 7th
tansfered 2 blasts on 11/10
lots of +hpt!!
beta #1 on 11/21= 50.4
beta #2 on11/23= 90.8
another miscarriage 12/23
moving on to Round 2 of IVF with an auto immune dx
ER 4/23-retrieved 12 eggs
ET 4/28 3 transfered
Beta #1- 356
Beta #2- 870
I did not do well on weight gain. I had super bad puking. In the end I gained 50 lbs. But I also gained 20 lbs of fluid in the last month - meaing I honestly only gained about 30.
I lost all of it by 6 weeks PP - all 50 lbs gone.
My kids were little. 2005 grams and 2010 grams at 36 weeks. We also had a few other reasons for smaller babies - pre-eclampsia and previous SCH. My mom also made small babies too.
So I did the best that I could. But I am sure I could have tried to get more protein.
I just read last night that 130g is the minimum for twins and Dr.Luke recommends 176!!
TTC since 2005
missed miscarriage nov 2006- 4 failed clomid cycles-
3 failed femara iui cycles-
moving on to IVF oct 2011
ER nov. 7th
tansfered 2 blasts on 11/10
lots of +hpt!!
beta #1 on 11/21= 50.4
beta #2 on11/23= 90.8
another miscarriage 12/23
moving on to Round 2 of IVF with an auto immune dx
ER 4/23-retrieved 12 eggs
ET 4/28 3 transfered
Beta #1- 356
Beta #2- 870
I am overweight to begin with so I had plenty from the get go. My OB still wants me to gain weight, but only about 25 lbs.
My pre-pregnancy weight is a little sketchy since I gained a lot of artificial weight when I quit smoking last year and then this year with IVF. Last November, I weighted about 240, then I quit smoking in December and then did IVF in February. At ER, I weighted 260. Yikes!
Now at 23 weeks, I have only gained 7.4 lbs. My OB is not concerned as in reality, baby weight is probably replacing some of the artificial weight I gained earlier in the year. I eat healthily all day and then just eat whatever I want for dinner in order to try and pack on some calories, but it isn't working. I am convinced the 7.4 lbs I have gained are from the 2 weeks where I craved nothing but Taco Bell.
Every time I mention it to my OB she says I am fine. the girls are actually measuring ahead of the curve. Every time I say "I am not gaining weight" she responds with "You will". I guess it's coming towards the end. Who knows!
I'm having a hard time getting the weight gain going as well. I lost about 5lbs from being sick and am just now back up to where I started. I was told 2lbs per week is where they want me for gain from 12w on, so I'm behind the 8 ball.
Protein shakes were the biggest rec from my nutritionist, and there are actually decent ones out there. Bolthouse Farms makes a few (the Mango one is yummy but they are all pretty good), Naked Juice makes ones that taste good but are a little gritty, Odwalla makes a few that go down very smoothly but the taste is so-so (still better than Ensure- gross). I buy a bunch of them and have one with me every day. I sip on them slowly so as not to get overly full and by the end of the day I've gotten the whole thing down.
Dx DOR (AMH .49), Stage 3/4 Endo, Septate Uterus
After 2 years, numerous tests, abdonimal surgery, and 2 IVF cycles, we are so grateful to be expecting.
Transferred 2 "perfect" 8-cell embies 6/12. Beta 1 6/25: 472! Beta 2 6/27: 1055!
First u/s shows TRIPLETS! WHAT?!?! Both embies stuck and one split. OMG
Levi, Henry, and Amelia were born healthy at 34w3d.
I side-eye any OB who won't refer you to an MFM.
How to tell my boys apart
The different types of twins and triplets
Jack, Sydney and Carynne, Annaleigh, JW, Eden...forever in our hearts.
My blog * We made the national news!
I agree the weight gain has been very hard. Every OB visit I dread the scale b/c I am worried I won't have gained enough. My OB hasn't been harsh about it but did state the weight gain was very important for me as I am so small to start. I started at 105 and at 16 weeks this morning I weighed in at 122 so it's slowly starting to pack on. I have been told 45 to 50lbs of weight gain this pregnancy. Twenty lbs the first half, a slight slow down for weeks 20-28 (about 10lbs) and then major gain (15-20lbs) after 28 weeks. Either way he said if I can average about 2lbs a week starting week 12 I would be good.
My OB recommended Boost protein plus drinks, carnation instant breakfast and protein powder drinks. He said as those mix with milk you get a complete protein and dairy and for me I also find it easier to drink the calories than eat them. Also these twins are making me a vegetarian as I cannot stand meat so I have been adding beans and eggs to every meal. I cannot tell you how many egg, bean and cheese tacos I have eaten in the past few weeks.
Oh and the crock pot has been my best friend for dinners as you can do so many high protein meals in those!
06/12 - BFP!!!!
Beta #1 15dpo - 256
Beta #2 18dpo - 1097
6wk U/S on 07/02 ~ TWINS!!!
EDD 02/21/13
09/10/12 Found out it's two Boys!!!! Sam and Jake
Jacob and Samuel born 1/29/13 at 36 weeks.
I had HG so bad in the beginning I was hospitalized and ended up getting a PICC line and zofran pump so weight gain was not easy.
I didn't make the 24lbs by 24 weeks goal,but did my best. I'm up 30lbs and have been there since about 30ish weeks with no change since. My MFM has mentioned it gently a few times, but the girls are growing well and as of yesterday are predicted to be right at 6lbs by our C/S (scheduled for 36w2d). I'm very happy with that size.
I was actually hospitalized last week when my HG flared up pretty bad again. At this point mere bites fill me up to the point of being uncomfortable and sick. Mostly I've focused on packing protein and calories in when I do eat. I was actually told to drink and juices and sports drinks versus always filling up on water alone so that I'd be adding calories and nutrients in.
Honestly, I didn't get too hung up in the Dr.Luke protocol. It was unattainable and far fetched for me.
This. I would find a new doctor. Also, if you are getting full quickly try to eat small meals or snacks every 2 hours. That's what I did!!
Weight gain has been a huge issue for me. I'm up about 30 and I think I was only around 10-12 lbs. up at 20w. I still have m/s and Zofran doesn't do it for me, so I really have to watch what I eat so I can keep it down. In the beginning, I really tried to meet the goals through dairy. Lots of cheese, yogurt, nuts, hummus. I couldn't do meat. My MFM told me to focus on Ensure shakes, adding juice to water for calories, and as much dairy as I could tolerate. She also told me to try small, frequent meals. It has been an ongoing battle, but I am finally making some progress.
FWIW, while my BMI was normal, I put on a lot of weight during our year and half of fertility treatment. When I got pregnant, plenty commented on how it looked like the extra weight in my face and arms was just traveling to my belly. I think I would be up more if I hadn't had some of the extra fluff to begin with. My babies are measuring small, but the MFM and OB are not concerned, as they believe they are just taking after their parents (DH and I are petite and I was a tiny tiny baby).
12dp5dt: 765; 15dp5dt: 1979; 17dp5dt: 3379...TWINS!!!!!
Our perfect baby boys were born at 36w1d!!
My docs haven't been crazy about ensuring rapid weight gain, but did suggest hitting at least 2800 cals/day. I'm up 18-20 lbs at 21 weeks, and I still exercise 4-5 times per week for 50-60 minutes at a time (cardio, light weights). So, without exercise, I probably would have only needed ~2400/day or so in the end to put on that weight. This has continued to put me right in the ballpark to hit the +24 lbs by 24 weeks target that Dr. Luke mentions.
Everyone's system packs on the pounds differently as it relates to pregnancy -- and my rate of gain has been all over the place -- some weeks I gain 3 lbs, and then gain nothing for the next two weeks. Net, I really don't gain myself more often than every 2-3 weeks just to keep a high level pulse on how I'm progressing.
I agree.
It's not. It is just extra weight to lose in the end. Some people gain 60 lbs and still have IUGR.... I'm not an advocate for tons of weight gain with multiples but I understand that many are and have different opinions and experiences. Everyone seems to have an mfm with a different opinion on this as well.
Right?! She just doesn't think it's "necessary". I told my husband that at my 16 week appt. we need to push for it.