How to avoid the "Are you pregnant?"

bewilderingstar · August 2012

So I was just putting in my OBGYN appts into my calendar when I realized my husband and I have several double date nights scheduled before our 12wk "tell the world I'm pregnant" moment. How have you gals avoided having the talk? Obviously I won't be drinking and that will be a HUGE hint to my girlfriends....

chenmae · August 2012

I went to a birthday party recently and I already ran into that problem lol. The first thing she asked me was if I wanted a beer, and I said no. Then she said, "because you're driving?" NO because i'm pregnant! Grrrrr. I didn't want to tell anyone yet, because my boyfriend's parents don't even know yet, we wanted to wait until I'm 12 weeks, i'm almost 10 weeks. So I told her to keep it quiet and I'm sure she will. I'm actually more worried about a baby shower I have to go to on the 8th, and I'm already showing. I know its mostly bloating, but with this pregnancy (my 2nd) i popped out almost immediately. I can't wear anything that doesn't give it away, no idea how I'm going to hide it at the shower, especially since its about her, not me. You could always try cancelling those appointments, if you're a social drinker like me, there's no way you'll be able to slip that one past your friends. Good luck.

MrsKae · August 2012

I have a similar problem. We have a lot of family things going on and my sister in law and I are usually the drinkers of the clan so I told my husband I know she will be on me like white on rice and if I don't drink she will know something is up. He said to say I am on antibiotics that conflict with alcohol. I think Ill make my own drinks and make them virgin. You could always tell the waiter in advance that you will be ordering drinks but please leave out the alcohol?

rayofsunshine99 · August 2012

I'm not a huge drinker anymore so my friend's eyeballs won't pop out of their sockets if I decline a drink, but you can always say you're designated driver, you don't feel well, you 'drank a lot last night', you're watching your weight and alcohol is just empty calories etc. Also, some people get faux-tails from their server. I've never tried, but I've heard of people telling the server privately that they are not drinking so to please bring all of their drinks NA.

elle980 · August 2012

The minute I turn down a drink from a friend or not have a drink with them will automatically tell them I'm pregnant (I'm not a huge drinker, I just don't ever not drink with them). I am 6 weeks and we are meeting up with close friends this weekend so we are going to tell them. I know they will keep it quiet. Plus I suspect one of them is pregnant as well! I could put together an elaborate scheme to throw them off my trail but it would be too much work. There was that, or not see them for another 6 weeks, which was not an option.

bhjones1980 · August 2012

I had this come up already at both social and work functions.

My work (I am a conference/event planner) has me traveling a lot with the members of the association and there are LOTS of social events included, dinners, reception, etc. They are a big drinking crowd and have always known me to keep up with them. My friends also do not know me to turn down a glass of wine.

I have had back issues for the last almost year which a lot of them know about, so I have just been telling work colleagues and friends that I am on prednizone for my back and absolutely can not drink on it. Haven't had much questioning of that yet.

My work schedule get nuts though in September and October with 4 back to back events. I am really worried it is going to get found out (which isnt good since I want to talk to my CEO first, not have him find it out from a member).

bbc1982 · August 2012

I emailed my very best friends to let them know...after all, if the worst should happen I would want them to lean on. The rest of the world will just have to wonder until it's safer to tell. If I get asked directly I will deny it...the truth will come out eventually;) Fingers crossed we get to that point!

mrs.kapow · August 2012

Order a glass of wine or a carry a dark beer. Put it to your mouth and "drink." As long as things look normal on the surface, people don't usually question it.

For me, it was worth the $8 for a glass of wasted wine to not deal with the questions.

tinychefjackson · August 2012

Go to the bar before you are seated and order a spritzer or a virgin drink (there are a lot of sophisticated names for them that don't include "Virgin"). Make a comment about how you can't even taste the alcohol, then let it go. LOL People aren't as swift as you might think.

TimingisEverything · August 2012

tell them you are still hungover from last night and want to take it easy tonight.

Hesterlicious · August 2012

Look at their stomach and ask "Why? Are you?"

OS2013 · August 2012

I'm using the I'm on antibiotics excuse. I'm thinking I won't see people more than once or so before we announce so it should work. Backup excuse is I'm temporarily on a new allergy med and I can't drink and take it.

I also like the virgin drink idea get something that looks like a drink in a drink glass. Brilliant!

montie99 · August 2012

Hesterlicious:
Look at their stomach and ask "Why? Are you?"

Are you calling me fat?

MrsP7309 · August 2012

TimingisEverything:
tell them you are still hungover from last night and want to take it easy tonight.

I did this, and it worked really well! It also covers you if you have all day morning sickness.

Hesterlicious · August 2012

montie99:
Hesterlicious:
Look at their stomach and ask "Why? Are you?"

Are you calling me fat?

Haha I am calling you bloated Wink

11152004 · August 2012

I've had a number of these scenarios recently... at weddings, I order "fake" drinks at the bar - normally cranberry and club soda with a lime in a cocktail glass - and then tell people it's a vodka with cranberry. So one ever suspected anything else.

I'm a big wine drinker, and so at a few parties we had to go to, when asked about a drink, I'll tell the host red or white wine. Then in my purse I keep a small size water bottle filled with either grape juice or white grape juice. After fake-sipping a few times, I excuse myself to the bathroom, dump the wine, rinse the glass, and fill with grape juice - and then proceed to drink. Worked like a charm every time. A little excessive? Yes, but my friends would suspect immediately if I wasn't drinking, and I wasn't ready to have this crowd know the truth...

Hesterlicious · August 2012

11152004:
I've had a number of these scenarios recently... at weddings, I order "fake" drinks at the bar - normally cranberry and club soda with a lime in a cocktail glass - and then tell people it's a vodka with cranberry. So one ever suspected anything else.

I'm a big wine drinker, and so at a few parties we had to go to, when asked about a drink, I'll tell the host red or white wine. Then in my purse I keep a small size water bottle filled with either grape juice or white grape juice. After fake-sipping a few times, I excuse myself to the bathroom, dump the wine, rinse the glass, and fill with grape juice - and then proceed to drink. Worked like a charm every time. A little excessive? Yes, but my friends would suspect immediately if I wasn't drinking, and I wasn't ready to have this crowd know the truth...

I love how they see no issue with you taking your wine to the bathroom.

steph620 · August 2012

The day after I found it it was my sister's bachelorette party. The waitress went around the table, every single person got a drink, and I ordered a root beer. No one noticed (and they all know I like my wine!), and the root beer looked like a dark beer. So I didn't get any questions...until later when we played a drinking game...

kewltif · August 2012

I was really paranoid about this with my first pregnancy and went to great lengths to hide it. This time around it was honestly just easier to tell friends on an as needed basis and just ask them not to tell anyone.

km_md · August 2012

This seems like a really common issue! I am struggling with this right now too. The first social function that we have coming up is a wedding! It is a family wedding, and they all know that I like my wine! And a wedding is really not somewhere I want it to slip out - the day should be about the bride and groom. I might use my acid reflux as a reason to not have wine (it really aggravates it), and I will maybe order some type of virgin drink that looks like a regular drink so that I won't get questioned.

jill&lauren · August 2012

I was very terrified about this as all of my friends know I LOVE to have a social cocktail. However, the past few weeks when I am out with anyone and it comes up I just mention that I am trying to be more disciplined diet wise and drinking has been really adding to my calories. When it was during the week I added, "I have stopped drinking during the week to cut down on calories"

I THINK this worked...but halfway expect when I do tell them for them to be like "I knew it was weird you weren't drinking!!!"

dbsk8dance+ · August 2012

We told our best friend couple. They are one month ahead of us, so we're in it together.

with my last pregnancy, I really didn't want tot tell anyone, so I faked a lot. sprite or tonic with lime look like a cocktail. I also did red cups of pineapple juice and just said it was pineapple and vodka when asked.

bewilderingstar · August 2012

I think I'll just fake it with our friends and tell the family. I love the cranberry, seltzer water and lime idea!! I'll definitely do that. I don't like soda (unless there's booze it in) so thats out of the question! lol. Thanks for the help ladies!

pinottoparenthood · August 2012

Hesterlicious:
11152004:
I've had a number of these scenarios recently... at weddings, I order "fake" drinks at the bar - normally cranberry and club soda with a lime in a cocktail glass - and then tell people it's a vodka with cranberry. So one ever suspected anything else.

I'm a big wine drinker, and so at a few parties we had to go to, when asked about a drink, I'll tell the host red or white wine. Then in my purse I keep a small size water bottle filled with either grape juice or white grape juice. After fake-sipping a few times, I excuse myself to the bathroom, dump the wine, rinse the glass, and fill with grape juice - and then proceed to drink. Worked like a charm every time. A little excessive? Yes, but my friends would suspect immediately if I wasn't drinking, and I wasn't ready to have this crowd know the truth...
I love how they see no issue with you taking your wine to the bathroom.

Haha nothing wrong with that... you have to babysit your drink.

pinottoparenthood · August 2012

jill&lauren:
I was very terrified about this as all of my friends know I LOVE to have a social cocktail. However, the past few weeks when I am out with anyone and it comes up I just mention that I am trying to be more disciplined diet wise and drinking has been really adding to my calories. When it was during the week I added, "I have stopped drinking during the week to cut down on calories"

I THINK this worked...but halfway expect when I do tell them for them to be like "I knew it was weird you weren't drinking!!!"

This is like me. My friends aren't asking any questions, but I KNOW when I tell them, they'll be like... I knew it! Because I ALWAYS drink with them.

Mrs.DeliaMarieP · August 2012

Personally, I didn't. We have always told immediate family and close friends. Not necessarily in the first couple of weeks, but once I've reached 7-8 weeks, I've told them.

Prior to that, when we had weddings or other drinking events I have ordered a drink and then just sipped it or pretended to sip it and had DH drink it here and there as well, or if no one was around I ordered a Shirley Temple because it looks like a Vodka & Cran.

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