- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
1st Trimester
Vent friends wedding!
I fainted and had to go to the ER last week. I was told to sit rather than stand, not wear heels, etc. I was supposed to be in a wedding in a few weeks and told the bride that for the safety f my baby and myself, I did not want to wear the 5.5 in heels. Well she then told me to not be in her wedding that I was being selfish. I'm fine now upset bc she was my MOH three years ago. I just had to share at how unbelievable some people can be when it comes to understanding pregnancy or having empathy. : hope no one else experiences horrible support but I'm guessing other things are making her upset and she has taken her anger out on me. That's not a friend. We are almost 30 yrs old. I guess some people never grow up. It's shoes! Shr also told me to enjoy having a miserable pregnancy if I'm already fainting and that I am only 6 weeks along and said "woopty do!". :
Warning
No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Vent friends wedding!
Did you faint due to low blood sugar or bp? There is a good chance this symptom will dissipate in a few weeks, in which case you could probably go through with the wedding, heels and all (you'll wear them at the altar for, what, 45 minutes tops? Change into cute, sensible shoes for the reception). It seems like you possibly prematurely pulled the trigger on this one.As a happy medium, try to find similar shoes at a lower height so you don't throw off her "look."
She may feel like you are trying to steal some attention from her day by being dramatic about your new pregnancy (whether that's excusable or plausible on her part, I do not know. I don't know the history or dynamic of your friendship.) Bridesmaids have done worse, you know.
I have to agree with your friend that you're in for a long ride if you are already making large accommodations for your pregnancy. Did the ER doctors tell you to not stand or wear heels AT ALL, or just until the dizziness becomes less frequent?
Heels can force you to stand with your legs locked, which is a good way to interrupt blood circulation and cause fainting. So technically, if you were careful not to lock your knees, you could do the heels. All that aside, she's no friend, so is it worth it? :-P
Wooooow. That is pretty selfish to put your health and that of your unborn baby ahead of Miss Bridezilla. Sheesh.
Your former friend is clearly a biotch, you don't need her around during this amazingly special time in your life. Write her ass off!
I'm usually one of the first people to call someone out for being ridiculous but in this case I don't see how anyone isn't siding with the OP. It's irrelevant whether she misunderstood her doctor or whether the symptoms may pass by then. She told a dear friend that she had a medical issue and would need to wear flats in the wedding. A friend who values shoes over a friend is a biitch. Maybe the OP will feel fine. Maybe she's jumping the gun but her reasons are valid and no true friend would discount that.
One of my best friends has horrible back problems and if shoes were going to keep her out of my wedding that girl would have been told she could wear slippers for all I cared.
Seriously. If I told my bridesmaids they HAD to wear 5.5 inch heels to my wedding I would have no bridesmaids.
Cooper Edward
9.25.12
Ditto!
No joke, my jaw is still hanging open after reading your comment. I'm not exaggerating. Her "friend" was incredibly nasty to her! Do you honestly think it is okay for women to treat their friends in that manner? Some people do have a rough pregnancy, and it can start as early as the 1st trimester (hell it can start before you even conceive!!). It doesn't matter at all what you think she could get away with, her doctor, the medical professional whom she has placed her trust and faith in, has informed her that it is not okay to wear high heels! For God's sake, it's a pair of frippin' shoes! Tell me you don't treat your friends like this and this was a moment of pregnancy/hormone related brain farting that you are kinda starting to regret posting.
I just read your ridiculous comments to my husband who's eyes nearly bugged out of his head as he exclaimed, "There could be stairs! She could fall down a whole set of stairs! It's just a pair of shoes!". Seriously, you missed the point big time.
I missed this the first time around. you are joking right? you are not actually telling the OP that she is the one being ridiculous, right?
My bridesmaids all wore 3 inch heels. At the very beginning my MOH told me they were trying to conceive so we waited on buying her shoes because that's insane to ask of a pregnant lady. Having her there next to me was more important than a pair of shoes.
I'm glad you stood your ground and have written her off. After her wedding I hope she comes to her senses and apologizes.
Ridiculous.
I'm glad you're ok. It sucks to lose a friend after so many years but it really does sound like you're better off without her. A real friend would never have said good luck with your miserable pregnancy!!
Sidebar -can anyone recall what shoes any of the bridesmaids at the last wedding you attended looked like? If she is worried that the pregnant bridesmaid wearing different shoes than everyone else will take attention off of her, she is one of the most shallow people I've ever heard of.
Haha... no, no-- but thanks for the shout-out. I was trying to calm the OP down and trying to rationalize that maybe her friend (bridezilla as she may be) has hurt feelings and doesn't understand. Also, we don't know that the situation is, truly, THAT dramatic.
I said that I agree the pregnancy is going to be rough is there is this much drama over a common early pregnancy symptom.
Take thy flames elsewhere. Bashing the OP, I was not.
OP: in regards to the fainting, I fainted a few times in early pregnancy and had some dizzy spells. Make sure you're getting plenty of water, and eating often. I know it's hard with nausea, but try making sure you are balancing your blood sugar and getting enough protein. It should pass in a few weeks as your body gets used to being pregnant.
Ooh, me me!! One of the BMs wore super high clear plastic stripper shoes with lucite heels and platforms.
That's a bridezilla if I've ever heard of one and that is the nice b word that came to mind...
Some people just are too busy being focused on themselves to realize that there are bigger things happening. You have to do what is safe for you and LO and if she doesn't understand that then maybe she will if she ever has kids of her own... Because being pregnant is all rainbows and sunshine!!
I'm really sorry you have to worry about it - just don't be quick to write off a friend - one day she will look back and realize how silly she is being over shoes and then she might be glad that you were a good enough friend to stick around when she wasn't acting at her best.
Just brush it off as, "I guess some people are just more important in their own minds.." DH and I wanted to tell BIL and SIL in person, but they always decline our invites over or to do anything (4 invites declined in 2 wks). So when they found out from an aunt/uncle we are expecting, DH got a txt "Congrats on the pregnancy thanks for telling us" and MIL got a txt "Why didn't you tell me they are having a baby"... Some people just need to get over themselves - maybe they will when they realize that there is more in life - like new babies!
there is no rationalizing that your "friend" since 6th grade doesn't want you in her wedding anymore b/c your doctor stated that you shouldn't wear high heels.
and common pregnancy symptom? I would consider that m/s or bloating. not fainting. I would be freaking out a bit if I was fainting during pregnancy. and if you read the OP again, you'll see she isn't the one creating the drama, bridezilla is.
The whole wedding was a hot mess so they really weren't all that out of place
You are SO missing the point. The OP isn't being dramatic. She's following doctors orders. The friend threw a hissy fit. It's presumptuous of you to say that if the OP is struggling now she's in a for a rough ride. Why is this any different that some people who are glued to the couch or the toilet through the entire first trimester? Does that make them dramatic and doomed to a terrible pregnancy? Of course not. It means they're struggling with PART of their pregnancy, just like the OP.
Well frankly, if you aren't going to conform to the bride's vision for her wedding, you shouldn't be in it anyway. And how DARE you get pregnant before her wedding?!
So selfish.
says the ninja with no uterus.
**facedesk**
Yes, fainting is a common early pregnancy symptom, usually from changes in blood pressure or low blood sugar-- both completely controllable with proper care.
Furthermore, I never said bridezilla was in the right. (I looooooove how that is being put into my mouth.) I just said that, maybe, OP pulled the trigger a little early. Her symptoms may be alleviated by then, and she can rock those sky-high heels with confidence.
BTW, I agree with the shoes. They don't matter, in the grand scheme of things (don't tell people on "The Knot" that). This is why I suggested finding a similar, shorter style to appease the beast, keep doctor's orders, and participate in the wedding. Everyone wins, even crazy bride (who will likely feel like an idiot, in retrospect)!
Clearly rational thinking and pregnancy don't mix with this particular poster.
you really don't get it.
I'll :headdesk: now.
oh, I didn't realize I needed a uterus to have an opinion on weddings and pregnancy. My bad.
Nope, it wasn't. I was wrong, and I can admit when I am wrong.
it was really the ninja part I was highlighting. the uterus is not needed. the ninja part makes you sneaky. I'm leary of sneaky.
Right? She's missing that the BRIDE didn't take a step back, breathe and say "Let's figure out what we can do (i.e. can you wear a lower shoe?)" No. She threw her a$$ out of the wedding. Sure, let me hoof it to Macy's to find replacement shoes to appease a selfish "friend" whose initial reaction to my issue is to throw a hissy feet.