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Babies on the Brain
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Obsessed? Probably.
Hey ladies,
I'm obviously new to the the Bump and am very excited to finally have an outlet! The past few weeks have been rather torturous as I feel as though I've gotten a strong case of the baby fever.
I am 21 with a wedding coming up in March of 2013. DH-to-be and I have a house that just seems to be too big for the two of us and our two "fur-babies." The whole thing probably started about a month or two ago when I was in our spare bedroom changing the sheets. I looked up and realized that the paint we had chosen and applied months ago would make a great nursery color for either gender baby.
My fiancee and I have discussed having children and he feels that once I have his last name and we have an adequate amount of money in our savings, then we can revisit the TTC idea.
Apparently my body/subconcious mind doesn't quite agree with him. I think about everything infant-related and how happy I would be to have a little squirrelly baby in my tummy, relying on me to keep it safe and well cared for. Sometimes it gets so bad that I offer to watch my nephew and neice but this only affirms my feelings and heartache at not having my own.
Some days it interferes with my work and social life. I pour over hundreds of websites and articles, arming myself with advice and decisions that will (hopefully someday soon) help me become a good mother. I think about our finances (honestly, who is really ready when it comes to their first pregnancy and baby?) and how it would affect our relationship. Something inside keeps telling me that we would be happy to be blessed with a little one.
So for now I stew on the what-could-be and wait for my time. In the meantime, does anyone have any advice for taming the rampant baby fever? 
Thanks.
"Life is ten percent what happens to you and ninety percent how you react to it."
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Re: Obsessed? Probably.
My DH and I have been married 4 and 1/2 years and are hoping to TTC next spring. I spent the first couple years of our marriage obsessing about babies and being unhappy we couldn't have one yet. That is one of my greatest regrets. I could have spent that time investing in my marriage, enjoying our social life, and making memories with my DH. I'm realizing now how important those things are and trying to focus on those. The baby time will come but I won't ever be where we are today again.
Good luck, I know this is difficult!
You need to start focusing on other things if it is interfering with your work and social life. Like the others said, get a hobby.
I understand wanting a baby so badly, but obsessing can be dangerous. Are you going to be be able to emotional handle the stress of TTC (trust me TTC can mess with your emotions).
Focus on your fur babies. Focus on your upcoming wedding. Focus on anything else until you are actually ready to start TTC.
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That's a good idea. Maybe what I need to get back to is focusing on the wedding. I get home from work earlier in the day than he does, so I can occupy myself with those little details.
I know it's not right to rush things and the logical part of me says, "Get off the couch and live the life you've got RIGHT NOW!" But there's always that other part...
Thanks, ladies. I really appreciate it!!
Just focus on your wedding for now. I just got married last month and now that we are married we still have to TTA due to my husband not having a job. He is a teacher and got cut due to budget cuts. So while he is subbing and on the hunt for a maternity leave spot we are TTA. It sucks but the timing just isn't right at the moment. Just have fun with your fiance and enjoy the wedding planning process.
Right now I am just focusing on getting my body into great shape! I take my frustrations out in a thai kickboxing class 3 -4 days a week which I love! For now we are just focusing on doing things to our house that we have wanted to do for a long time which is very exciting too!
When the time is right it will happen.
I think probably one of the reasons you are thinking about a baby is because you see yourself married where you want your life to go etc. That's awesome - and it is definietly something to look forward to. I remember being excited after I got married about the thought that the next step was a baby.
Plan the wedding- enjoy every minute. Build memories with your future husband that you can one day share with your baby. Go on a trip together - do something as a couple that would be hard with a baby (i.e. dance classes).
The baby will come .... and because you want that baby and will do the research you'll be a good mom!
One of the best things I've learned since having my LO is how to take time to appreciate the moment - they grow really quickly.
I think everyone above is completely right - focus on the wedding and what you have right now. I also highly suggest creating a "baby bucket list", of things to do before baby. Expensive dates, weekends away, international travel, X amount in savings, spur-of-the-moment activities, etc. These things will be much more difficult once you have a child. There are a few things that I wish I would've done before having him.
I really would suggest a new hobby, something to keep your mind off of it (and honestly, this site will only make it worse for you). If you decide to knit, knit a sweater, not a baby blanket. Keep it baby free for a while.
Enjoy it while you have it! There's nothing wrong with looking ahead and getting excited, but don't get ahead of yourself.
^ THIS.
I think that was well said and super supportive but a reality check at the same time.
Thank you, sincerely.
As a wise country song says...
You're going to miss, this you're going to want this back, you're going to wish these days haven't gone by so fast, because these are some good times, so take a good look around, you may not know it now but you're going to miss this.
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I've been thinking about taking up cooking classes. Not only will it physically and mentally keep me occupied, but it will be a completely useful hobby! Plus, hubby-to-be loves it when I cook meals at home and we sit at the dinner table, just discussing our day and relaxing.
If cooking turns out not to be my thing, my back up plan is joining some sort of dance class. Physical excerise boosts mood and metabolism, so that's a win-win, too.
I wish I could say something helpful, but I do feel your pain as well!
Hubby and I have been married for only 2 years, but over the past six months it's been like a switch just turned on in my brain and my heart and I just can't stop thinking about how wonderful it would be to have a child. I know my DH will be a wonderful father, and that's something I can't wait to see. We've always talked about having kids, but recently when I've brought up considering TTC he just isn't ready. He says we're still young and we have so much time, which I know is completely true (we're 23 and 25), and he says he wants to be more financially stable. As far as the finances I don't know if he's ever going to feel like we have enough, I own my own business and work from home while he has a good job as a web programmer here in SF, and we own our home. Anyway, sorry to ramble, but I know he's right, I know we have plenty of time still to enjoy just being together before having kids, and I know if he's not ready then he's just not ready, but I just can't figure out how to turn that switch off!