Ugh, FI wants me to switch doctors

UberBiz · August 2012

because he doesn't want another guy touching my crotch!... I moved here about 2 years ago and have only seen my ob/gyn once last year, and I loved him he is SO NICE and easy going and easy to talk to, was willing to answer all my questions.. This was before I met FI.

But now that we are pregnant, and looking at a number of prenatal checkups, including internals and u/s's and all that good stuff, FI is freaking out on me. I guess it's not that bad since I only saw him once, I'd hate to have to switch after 12 years or something! But it's still pretty annoying that FI can't get over the fact that he's a DOCTOR and doesn't just want to look at my hoo-hah.

I may go to my first appointment, which I believe is only going to be blood work anyway, and then switch. Or should I cancel and make a new appointment with a new doc, so I don't start prenatal care somewhere and have to switch?

JBDamonM · August 2012

Something to think about...... At most practices you get whichever dr is on call for day of delivery..... So unless you find an all female practice - there will still be a chance of a male delivering (and seeing each and every ounce of your lady bits!)

Either way good luck!

Casie13 · August 2012

If you like your Dr, I would not switch. That's just me though. My DH is going with me to my first appt today and will be there during the pap and everything. I'm sure it will be a bit awkward for him as my Dr is also a dude. But, just like you said - He's a DOCTOR, not just some creep checking out your junk! lol

asuchic · August 2012

This.

Flamingo86 · August 2012

Not to sound snarky, but your FI just needs to get over it. Most likely there will be a lady nurse in the room if the Dr. is looking at your girl parts anyway (if not you can request one).

Would your FI feel better if he can come to the appts. with you? If you like your Dr. you shouldn't have to switch for such a silly reason.

lovelyday39 · August 2012

mgarza1231 · August 2012

I agree.

Dunkin · August 2012

I woud definitely not switch if I felt comfortable with my OB. I agree with others - your FI needs to get over it.

OhSewCrafty · August 2012

She speaks the truth. Your FI needs to get over it.

Bink720 · August 2012

This. What happens if the on call doctor when you're in labor is male? Does your FI expect you to cross your legs and try to hold the kid in until a female doctor comes on? I think it's ridiculous to switch from a doctor you like and that you are comfortable with. That's a really hard thing to find.

branmuffin2112 · August 2012

Wow Confused Sounds like your FI needs to chill out. Your doctor isn't "touching" you. This is his career, he exams dozens of women each day. If you are uncomfortable with a male doctor that is one thing. But if your partner is just jealous...that's a whole different story. I could say a lot but I'm going to leave it at that.

kelsea1031 · August 2012

Yes, this. Your doctor is a professional and is giving you medical care. What is your FI going to do if your female doctor can't deliver your baby and the on call happens to be male? Pretty sure he's going to need to suck it up and get over it.

firefly1231 · August 2012

I think this is a perfect opportunity for your FI to learn to trust your judgment. If this is a doc you like (let's face it, man or woman looking at your stuff isn't really all that exciting to begin with) it's not worth starting the search over. You need a doctor you can trust more than anything.

mrhargr · August 2012

I agree with everyone else. The doctor is a professional. If you are comfortable with him, you shouldn't switch. I think you need to sit down with you FI and explain to him what you like about the doctor and what a hassle it would be to switch.

tcfreedom · August 2012

Amen... Sorry but that is so immature. Your SO needs a reality check.

jcarleo1 · August 2012

All this!

kjesmer · August 2012

When we had our first we checked out a bunch or re's and ob's I picked a male for both. Even dh agrees they were much more laid back and seemed to really listen to me when I had concerns
. All of the women we saw had the attitude that they had been there and survived so I would too and to suck it up. Either way it should be ur decision not his.

hatroopes · August 2012

Really? How old is your FI?

principessa81 · August 2012

Yeah, seriously. I can't believe he thinks there is anything even remotely sexual about an OBGYN doing their job. I mean....what???!!!

Also I agree with the poster who said that when you deliver you may not wind up with your regular OB if they're not on call. With DS, my regular OB was a woman, but the doctor who delivered my son was male. He was also a wonderful doctor and I'm grateful that he (unlike the witchy female OB who was on call the night before) delivered my baby.

saintpaulJess · August 2012

I'd get a new FI.

FrecklesInside · August 2012

Sorry, but your FI needs to have more confidence in your relationship and needs to grow up. Way too controlling. He's a doctor! My goodness. Stand firm on this that he needs to be an adult and a doctor is a doctor... what's his problem?

WorkinWeezel · August 2012

This. Everything about your FI's reaction seems pretty immature to me. He'd rather a woman do it? Does the thought make him more comfortable? I don't understand why.

Your doc is a certified MD/OB/GYN (let's hope) and qualified to do this. And I guarantee he doesn't go home and think about YOUR vagina.

BoatsNHoes · August 2012

Your vagina, your call.

kammmmay · August 2012

I agree with everyone else, but this especially. He needs to get over it and learn to trust your judgement or your relationship wont work out in the end.

I'm sure in the future he will have female doctors grabbing his little nuggets for a prostate exam. How would he feel if you wanted him to find another doctor because you didn't want another female "touching" him.

synchrosally · August 2012

This.

I had an OB poking around down there exactly 3 times in my entire pregnancy. Also, there's no guarantee that you will see the same OB for delivery because it will be whoever is on-call at the time.

cvl105 · August 2012

For real.

kara1204 · August 2012

This is so ridiculous. I'm sorry but he needs to get a grip. I have a male Dr and love him, so does my husband. If you are comfortable with him STAY, its a major bonus to like your OB when your pregnant and hormonal.

spoilme1 · August 2012

Well here's something a little different that happened to me today at my first OB appt. I really didn't want a male doc so I specifically asked for a female. My DH went with and when I checked in the receptionist said, "oh, and I'm gonna need you to sign this paper cause your dr. Has a med student following her around." well it was a male 3rd year med student that seriously looked about my age (mid 20s) and I even consented to let him practice on me if the need arose! Crazy, I know. Turns out he's pretty cool, we actually liked him. when we got home I asked my DH how he felt about the guy being there and he just said "I just didn't expect him to be so handsome." LOL. So tell your FI to go along if he can and even if you do get a female dr there are no guarantees that she won't have a "handsome" male med student following her around!

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