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1st Trimester
HarleyKins
member
Golly Gee.. on to the bump!
HarleyKins
member
I was recently on The Nest boards - titled Getting Pregnant - when I announced my news of a BFP. Talk about SNARKY there. A few great comments and the worst from a woman who called me a lurker and announcing my news to strangers.
Isnt' that what the purpose of these boards are? To share stories, successes, ask questions, console and trouble shoot?
I couldn't believe it. And the worst comments from woman who told me she was infertile..so why is she on the Getting Pregnant board??
Sorry for the venting. I guess I thought these boards were for support and what not.
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Re: Golly Gee.. on to the bump!
WOW.
FTR I didn't make that comment to her. I only made it here. She was being rude in her comments to me.
How is anyone to get to know anyone with out posting? Geesh. Talk about supportive. I was not doing a drive by. I read and comment on boards where I fit and can.
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Good heavens what is wrong with people?! My husband and I tried for 6 years to get pregnant (finally worked after IVF- now 8 weeks. woot woot), but during that time I was never down on anyone else for being given that gift. That's so wrong. I for one and happy for you and welcome you here. I just joined yesterday and will be looking for advice, support, and a listening ear on occasion. That really is what these boards are for.
Congratulations!!!!!
Thank you Lori. You can count on my for support - even if you are new.
Yay to you being 8 weeks! It is a blessing and keeping my mouth shut to friends and family is terribly difficult.
Thanks for your congrats and CONGRATS to you as well!!
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It's not "down" on anyone for getting pregnant- it's calling someone out on their insensitivity for a drive by that I'm talking about. VERY different. These boards are not just a magical repository where you get P&R responses. These are real people that form a real community that has it's own cultural values. Use your emotional intelligence and get the lay of the land before you post, it will save you getting flamed.
I'm giving you valuable advice right now, your choice as to whether you want to walk away smarter or not.
Would you walk into a crowded room of strangers who were trying to get pregnant and yell that you are pregnant? Because that's basically what you did.
Getting Pregnant is for women who are trying to do just that. If you read the top of the board, you would have realized that in about .01 seconds.
I have found a TON of support and many friendships on these forums over the past few years, but you have to pay attention to what board you're posting on and actually take time to get to know people.
Here? Pretty much anyone with a BFP can pop in and introduce themselves. Going to a board about trying to get pregnant and announcing your pregnancy is not right. Sorry they were snarky, but you were just as rude.
Ginny DX 21-Hydroxylase Deficiency Congenital Adrenal Hyperplasia
Charlie DX Specific Antibody Deficiency & ASD
Considering that most of the posts I read on the TTGP board were announcements?? I was in the wrong?
I'll now be delicate like a flower.
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If you weren't a member of their Getting Pregnant community, then you would not be received well there as a drive-by BFP. Even here, it will be best for you to put up an "Intro-BFP!" post and describe yourself a little, then begin offering and getting support from there on. It might serve you well to lurk a little and read some posts before seeking much support yet as well.
As for your comment about the infertile woman, just because she is infertile doesn't mean she can't be seeking the means to eventually get a child of her own (or not biologically) in some other way (surrogate, IVF, etc.). If you had been a member of the board, you would have known the etiquette of drive-by BFP's, and also you would know not to go tattling about other boards here or anywhere else.
Whatever you do, do not delete this post, that is not received well anywhere, either.
So, congratulations on your BFP, but if you plan on sticking around here, you might want to post an intro, apologizing for not doing so already, so that you can start off on the right foot this time...or at least edit this post and add an apology directing us to your new Intro post. Good luck to you.
ETA: don't get me wrong, I really am very happy for you, and even for driveby's have always given a congratulations, but I am just giving you a bit of advice about how these boards work, and that each one has its own "personality." It took me a long time to realize this, and I'm just trying to help you along.
BFP 12/19/08- DS born 8/25/09 9lbs2oz via Zavanelli Maneuver
BFP 8/26/11- Missed miscarriage discovered 10/19/11 at 11w2d, measured at 9 weeks gestation w/ no HB. D&C 10/21/11
BFP 3/17/12 at 12dpo CP 3/21/12
BFP 4/23/12 at 10dpo Stick my little one! Beta #1: 83.3 @ 13dpo Beta #2: 197.7 @ 15dpo
Our little man is getting bigger every day!
My BFP Chart
If every time you went to an RE appointment, women stopped you on your way in/out to tell you how happily pregnant they were - how would you feel? Maybe happy for them the first few times it happened or at least on the outside, but it would hurt and you know it.
That's what going to TTGP or GP and announcing your pregnancy, then leaving, is like. There's nothing else to it.
Ginny DX 21-Hydroxylase Deficiency Congenital Adrenal Hyperplasia
Charlie DX Specific Antibody Deficiency & ASD
BFP #2: 11-7-14, CP (BFN: 11-13-14)
BFP #3: 3/24/15 EDD: 12/5/15
All this. I have no idea what you did or said and I'm really not interested in tracking it down. But I did see where you posted on the multiples board, infertility board and TTGP, which is a little odd if you don't fit into those categories. The best advice I can give is lurk a little before posting.
Lurking from 3rd tri....
Also, if you would have taken the time to read some other posts on that board from the past couple weeks, you would have realized that they are a very tight knit group of girls who are all very supportive of each other and they have been dealing with some TOUGH stuff the past couple of weeks. I'm not a member of that board, but IMO it was extremely rude of you to post your announcement there without first reading the board to get a feel for it. You build relationships on this board just like you do anywhere else. Like one PP said, would you just walk into a room full of strangers and announce your pregnancy and expect them to all be crazy excited for you?
And BTW, if you think you saw snark on the GP board on the Nest, good luck here.
Well let's see--
I want to have multiples, we have been having problems conceiving = infertility according my dr and Trying To get Pregnant - that's self explanatory right??
We've been trying to get flipping pregnant! Isnt' that what those boards are for?
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I'm not sure how that works since you stated above that the poster who noted she was dealing with infertility had no place posting on teh GP board....
You are no longer trying. You ARE pregnant. So find the right board to post on and stop being ridiculous.
Ginny DX 21-Hydroxylase Deficiency Congenital Adrenal Hyperplasia
Charlie DX Specific Antibody Deficiency & ASD
/dead
Ginny DX 21-Hydroxylase Deficiency Congenital Adrenal Hyperplasia
Charlie DX Specific Antibody Deficiency & ASD
Ginny DX 21-Hydroxylase Deficiency Congenital Adrenal Hyperplasia
Charlie DX Specific Antibody Deficiency & ASD
would you stop being such a rude bit@h and just say congrats.... my god is that so hard?
LOL! Takes one to know one.
If OP stops being dumb and learns to read board descriptions before posting. Fair is fair!
The Bump is not this hard. I promise.
Ginny DX 21-Hydroxylase Deficiency Congenital Adrenal Hyperplasia
Charlie DX Specific Antibody Deficiency & ASD
Ginny DX 21-Hydroxylase Deficiency Congenital Adrenal Hyperplasia
Charlie DX Specific Antibody Deficiency & ASD
Then YOU be happy for her. No one is "beating" her up. Folks are trying to educate and it's like talking to a brick wall. Clearly, you have also been using the same bricks.
::DEAD::
Wait. So, you are saying that it is correct bump-ettiquette to pretty much never post on TTGP, then say, "Hey TTGP! Got a BFP! Deuces!" and head to first tri?
Because that's basically what she did. And you're saying that's okay. And...and...I just can't. Someone hold me.
Ginny DX 21-Hydroxylase Deficiency Congenital Adrenal Hyperplasia
Charlie DX Specific Antibody Deficiency & ASD
LOL! Yes- CLEARLY mrsw1007 knows all about this rodeo. Clearly.
Need to quit while you're ahead, sweet cheeks.
Rodeo fail.
Ginny DX 21-Hydroxylase Deficiency Congenital Adrenal Hyperplasia
Charlie DX Specific Antibody Deficiency & ASD
What the fluuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. Being infertile doesn't mean someone isn't trying to get pregnant.
You are not trying to get pregnant - you are pregnant. You were in the wrong to post there. Why should anyone on these boards support you when you haven't supported them? If you were a poster there, you'd know posting a BFP wouldn't be right.
Yup....rodeo fail... God if I only cared what any of you think about bump "etiquette"
I think it's ok to be excited, I think what she did was just fine, and I think people are far to sensitive. These boards don't say... oh you can only tell us your pregnant after 285 post. There are no rules, just people who think they know the rules. She can lurk for years, weeks, days...who really cares, and if you do care... Oh do I feel sad for you.
So which is it? Do you not care about me? Or are you sad for me?
And PS- if you really didn't care, you wouldn't have posted again.
I think it's funny that you're saying people are far too sensitive and you're white knighting and being WAY over the top sensitive about someone's post that you don't even know! Make up your mind! Are you allowed to be sensitive and no one else is? I really want to know the answer to these burningly important questions.
::: adds mrsw1007 to spreadsheet in the twatwaffle category::::
You can say you don't care all you want, but you obviously do.
FWIW, I DO care about the feelings of the women who spend time on these boards because they are people with histories and context. What she did was insensitive and that's all people are trying to explain to her. Period.
And if you truly don't care and truly feel that people can rightfully go onto whatever board they want and say whatever they want without regard for situation or circumstance, then I am sad for you.
Ginny DX 21-Hydroxylase Deficiency Congenital Adrenal Hyperplasia
Charlie DX Specific Antibody Deficiency & ASD
Harley, I was here on TheBump over at the TTC boards just long enough to sign up and read about 4 threads just like this one. I never made a single post because I didn't want to deal with all the flaming. I wouldn't be here right now if I wasn't googling spackle and pregnancy of all things.
I (happily) found fertilityfriend.com. I joined to be able to chart my BBT, but I had to pay to post on the message boards. I found it worth it because everyone there was incredibly welcoming and friendly. I asked a lot of questions, and no one ever got snarky with me.
I was VERY lucky and got pregnant my first month of trying. I was excited and scared - and also worried about being insensitive by posting about my BFP in my first month of trying when so many women there were having a hard time TTC - but everyone was so nice and supportive. You might want to consider coming over to a more snark free community.