Birth Experience (LONG, sry!) Didn't make it all the way natural.

What an experience! We had hoped and prepared for a natural birth in the hospital. Not everything went as I would have hoped, and I definitely wish I had advocated for myself a bit more, but I will not let myself dwell on regret and am so thankful for the experience, and most of all my amazing, strong, and determined son who has taught my husband and I that we will spend the rest of our lives learning from him and doing things on his time!

On August 10^th, I experienced cramps for the majority of the day. Being 3 days overdue and having been incredibly anxious about labor I didn?t think too much into it. Around midnight on August 11^th, I woke up to pretty intense cramping. My husband was still awake and watching Groundhogs Day?I told him I was pretty sure this was labor we decided to wait it out a few hours before declaring it actual labor. Around 3am the contractions were still consistent, at about 6 minutes apart. We called my mom and let her know. I told her to sleep for a while longer and I would call her when the contractions were closer together and more severe.  Next thing I knew she was at my door and ready to go!

The contractions became inconsistent and then more consistent a few times. Around 10am things were in full swing and we assumed the Bradley method position and my husband became a seemingly experienced coach. He said all the right things, coached me through breathing, visualizing the flexing muscles, and encouraging me not to tense or fight against my body. As they became a little more severe we jumped in the shower for a bit. After a while, we tried the birthing ball and that helped as well. Around 1pm we decided it was time. In between contractions we called the hospital and I calmly let them know I was in labor and on our way.

The car ride was horrific. Sitting straight up caused so much pain! Upon reaching the hospital, I got to triage where they let me know I was 5 centimeters! Half way there!  My midwife came in and asked what my plan for pain control was and upon letting her know that I had planned for natural she expressed that she didn?t know why people wanted to try natural when epidurals were available?that concerned me, however I knew my own determination would help me to make the right decisions.

Once in labor and delivery I was progressing well. Laboring in the shower I mentioned that I had thought my water may have broken. The nurse checked me and during that time she found I was 8 centimeters and though my water was not broken, she accidently broke it checking to see if it was broken. At this time my contractions turned into pushing contractions and I stalled at 8 centimeters for hours. This was the most challenging part of my delivery. Not pushing and breathing through these contractions was so incredibly difficult and I was having difficulty managing the pain.

After hours of stalling at 8 centimeters the midwife came in and expressed that she felt I needed an epidural to get past this stall. I denied several times. I accepted fentanyl to help take the edge off and continue trying to get through the pushing contractions. When that didn?t work she came back into my room and threatened me with a cesarean, explaining that I would have to get an epidural if we took that route so I may as well accept. I was furious and scared. I asked for time to talk to my husband and mother and she said ?I know your husband and mother are opposed but it?s your decision, don?t let them influence you?? at that time my husband turned to her and said ?get the F*** out of this room and let her process this decision? (I love you husband?.you are my hero and were a vital part of this entire process?I know you worked hard to support me and help me through everything we experienced. Thank you). After discussing it with my husband I decided that I would accept for the purpose of progression?fearful of not being able to deliver vaginally if I did not accept. Sitting up, trying to accept an epidural was a challenge. It took two tries.

An hour later I was 9 ?  and we planned to start pushing.  The nurse exclaimed ?he has long dark hair!? ?he has my hair! His momma?s hair!! I pushed for two hours. I spiked a temperature near the end and they discovered that my water breaking and having several cervical checks to track my progression caused an infection. In addition, DS was sideways with either ear pointing to the ceiling and floor, and his arm was coming out with his head (every ultrasound we ever had his hands were at his face, and still are, lol). The midwife got her hand in there to turn him and I remember screaming ?get the F*** out of me!!!? I could feel myself crowning and was trying to continue pushing through without screaming to make the pushing attempts more effective though I could feel everything?.except my right thigh? As he finally came out I felt like it was over and stopped pushing, only to find out this 9.82lb babies belly got stuck. Once delivered he did not cry which scared me, but everyone assured me he was fine. I finally heard a little whimper and began balling.

Once he was finally born at 10:33pm, 21inces long and 9.82lbs, they wanted to take him to NICU immediately due to the infection that I experienced. I begged for skin to skin. My husband spoke up and demanded it for me. I was allowed a few brief moments in which I fell in love, discovered a cone headed, purple itty bitty who had his mother?s hair, eyes, and daddy?s everything else, especially tush!! A few minutes later they took him to NICU?this is where I wish I had spoken up, but looking back I guess I didn?t really know at the time. They took him to NICU as a precautionary to deliver antibiotics and check for infection and injury as he was born with quite a bit of bruising. He was there for 3 days. I could have spent more skin to skin time with him right at birth without having a negative impact on his health or treatment and wish I had demanded this.

Either way, after making some serious complaints against the midwife, I am pleased with my experience. We had a 21 hour labor and I made it 17 hours natural. I will certainly try for all natural next time. In the meantime, I am madly in love with my itty bitty, and two weeks later we are successfully breast feeding!