Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
mistresscox
member
Re: RCS: how do you respond to "ugly" comments?
Why the hell didn't you demand to speak to her supervisor?! This lady didn't need a snarky comment from you, she needs a b!tchslap from her employer. I hope you got her name and are calling back today to let someone know what she said to you.
I'm a pretty snarky person myself, but when it came to the delivery of my child, I didn't really run into too many unsolicited opinions. I chose to VBAC (not that it matters) and DH and I have a very supportive family and group of friends. And when my VBAC failed, those family and friends were there to comfort me.
I hope you don't run into any more douchecanoes like this woman, but I really hope you call someone today to discuss her comments.
Eh, I will mention it to the OB when I get in to see her but it's not really worth the extra call in my world. Although I do believe her boss should mention something to her. She has no idea if I'm choosing to RCS because of medical problems that have risen recently in this pregnancy (i.e. pre-e, previa, etc) so she definitely needs to be talked to about her attitude, but I'll just bring it up while I'm there.
I just doubt that this will be my last comment that I will run into for choosing the "easy" route (which for the record I don't think is the easy route) and want to be ready for the "holier than thou birthers" that I will inevitably run into.
I would absolutely speak with her boss and let them know how rude she was.
My one rude response I have used once: My aunt made a comment to me about VBAC b/c she did a VBAC. she was being preachy. I said eh my little scar below my underwear line is not too bad. I would take that over a beat up vag and walked away.
I do not actually think women who had V births have beat up vag, I just felt like being rude b/c IMO she was being rude
I have had a few people ask if I know I can try for a VBAC. Like I am so dumb person who doesn't know anything: My response to them is well we have so many October Bdays between our two families that we really wanted to pick a date that would be all her own so we decided on RCS.
However most people who question me on it are being honestly curious and not judgemental. I just tell them about my first experience. My Csection went awesome and I recovered way faster than most even most who have V births. So I kind of lean on that when talking to people about it.
Excuse me?? I'm floored that you don't think that comment needs to be immediately discussed with a supervisor. That's absolutely out of line.
I have never gotten an "ugly" comment about my c/s births, possibly because I make it clear that I'm 100% comfortable with my choice and it's not open for discussion. I'm continuously in awe of women on here who get these sorts of comments.
(read it. you know you want to.)
anderson . september 2008
vivian . february 2010
mabel . august 2012
Same here.
I tell them it's none of their business. I would most likely need to make a similar decision to what you have and if someone second guessed it I wouldn't hesitate to put them in their place.
She doesn't deserve a creative snarky comment - that is so amazingly inappropriate!
I would have just called her out. Something along the lines of "excuse me? how do you know my medical history and reason my doctor and I have agreed on a RCS?"
Every hospital or clinic has customer service surveys and you need to find out how to give feedback on this person.
DS born via unplanned C-section at 40w6d
The hospital that I am delivering at doesn't allow VBAC's so it has been a non issue for me.
I honestly don't know if I would even attempt a VBAC if it was an option.
What is UP with secretaries at OBGYN offices these days?! My best friend just called me the other day because the woman who was supposed to schedule her yearly appointment asked what kind of birth control she was on... when she said she wasn't, the woman asked if she was trying to conceive... again, no. Then she went into a diatribe about how strange she was for not wanting to be on hormonal birth control.
I'm going to tell you what I told her: you need to tell the doctor. You are probably not the only woman this crazy secretary is judging. Clearly you can handle it, but what if there is another woman who isn't as strong as you and feels inadequate for the rest of her pregnancy because of her?
I definitely think you should either call back or at least make a point to tell your OB. You don't care that much, but someone who is a little more meek than you might care and not be bold enough to complain. Do it for the other ladies. :-)
As for snarky comments back, I am a big fan of "I like my vagina the way it is thank you very much."