RCS: how do you respond to "ugly" comments?
mistresscox
member
I'm a super sweetly snarky person IRL (i.e. smile while telling you to f off) and need a few good come-backs that ultimately get people to STFU about my choice. 
I didn't really expect to need something so soon, but I called a new OB today (switching based on my decision to RCS) and the scheduling lady was a bit rude about it. I just told her that I was 19 weeks pregnant, had been seeing a midwife but now that I'm going to RCS I want an OB. Her response was "So you are eligible for a VBAC but want the RCS? Okay.....I guess it's your body and you get to be the boss, although I don't know why you would....oh never mind." It was so completely inappropriate (she knows NOTHING about my medical history, reason for previous c-section, current state of pregnancy) that I couldn't think of anything, but even now I can't think of a snappy come back to that.
I know I'm going to continue to get sort of negative feedback on my choice to RCS which is ultimately just between myself, my doctor and my husband but I'd like to be prepared with something next time. So what do you throw out there when people give their unsolicited opinion of your choice? The bitchier the better IMO
Re: RCS: how do you respond to "ugly" comments?
Why the hell didn't you demand to speak to her supervisor?! This lady didn't need a snarky comment from you, she needs a b!tchslap from her employer. I hope you got her name and are calling back today to let someone know what she said to you.
I'm a pretty snarky person myself, but when it came to the delivery of my child, I didn't really run into too many unsolicited opinions. I chose to VBAC (not that it matters) and DH and I have a very supportive family and group of friends. And when my VBAC failed, those family and friends were there to comfort me.
I hope you don't run into any more douchecanoes like this woman, but I really hope you call someone today to discuss her comments.
Eh, I will mention it to the OB when I get in to see her but it's not really worth the extra call in my world. Although I do believe her boss should mention something to her. She has no idea if I'm choosing to RCS because of medical problems that have risen recently in this pregnancy (i.e. pre-e, previa, etc) so she definitely needs to be talked to about her attitude, but I'll just bring it up while I'm there.
I just doubt that this will be my last comment that I will run into for choosing the "easy" route (which for the record I don't think is the easy route) and want to be ready for the "holier than thou birthers" that I will inevitably run into.
I would absolutely speak with her boss and let them know how rude she was.
My one rude response I have used once: My aunt made a comment to me about VBAC b/c she did a VBAC. she was being preachy. I said eh my little scar below my underwear line is not too bad. I would take that over a beat up vag and walked away.
I do not actually think women who had V births have beat up vag, I just felt like being rude b/c IMO she was being rude
I have had a few people ask if I know I can try for a VBAC. Like I am so dumb person who doesn't know anything: My response to them is well we have so many October Bdays between our two families that we really wanted to pick a date that would be all her own so we decided on RCS.
However most people who question me on it are being honestly curious and not judgemental. I just tell them about my first experience. My Csection went awesome and I recovered way faster than most even most who have V births. So I kind of lean on that when talking to people about it.
Excuse me?? I'm floored that you don't think that comment needs to be immediately discussed with a supervisor. That's absolutely out of line.
I have never gotten an "ugly" comment about my c/s births, possibly because I make it clear that I'm 100% comfortable with my choice and it's not open for discussion. I'm continuously in awe of women on here who get these sorts of comments.
(read it. you know you want to.)
anderson . september 2008
vivian . february 2010
mabel . august 2012
Same here.
I tell them it's none of their business. I would most likely need to make a similar decision to what you have and if someone second guessed it I wouldn't hesitate to put them in their place.
She doesn't deserve a creative snarky comment - that is so amazingly inappropriate!
I would have just called her out. Something along the lines of "excuse me? how do you know my medical history and reason my doctor and I have agreed on a RCS?"
Every hospital or clinic has customer service surveys and you need to find out how to give feedback on this person.
DS born via unplanned C-section at 40w6d
The hospital that I am delivering at doesn't allow VBAC's so it has been a non issue for me.
I honestly don't know if I would even attempt a VBAC if it was an option.
What is UP with secretaries at OBGYN offices these days?! My best friend just called me the other day because the woman who was supposed to schedule her yearly appointment asked what kind of birth control she was on... when she said she wasn't, the woman asked if she was trying to conceive... again, no. Then she went into a diatribe about how strange she was for not wanting to be on hormonal birth control.
I'm going to tell you what I told her: you need to tell the doctor. You are probably not the only woman this crazy secretary is judging. Clearly you can handle it, but what if there is another woman who isn't as strong as you and feels inadequate for the rest of her pregnancy because of her?
I definitely think you should either call back or at least make a point to tell your OB. You don't care that much, but someone who is a little more meek than you might care and not be bold enough to complain. Do it for the other ladies. :-)
As for snarky comments back, I am a big fan of "I like my vagina the way it is thank you very much."