Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
JoySeattle
member
Re: Ask me anything
How was your transition off the juice diet and what does your diet look like now?
Do you ever disagree with any of your clients' parenting decisions? How do you handle that?
Blogs: Our Growing Family - CT Working Moms
How was your transition off the juice diet and what does your diet look like now?
My transition off was much easier than the transition too, although neither were nearly as hard as I had imagined -- honestly. I did 90 days and we left for vacation (ski resort) only a few days after I finished. I started with the traditional soaked prunes, then juicy fruits, then fruits and veggies. I weaned off juice over the course of about a week (took my juicer) and slowly added more non-juice foods. A little goes a long way to fill a stomach that's been juicing. When we were on vacation we had a kitchenette and I ate salad, veggies, fruit and rice when we went out. I remember a lovely soup I brought with me (made when I was juice and therefore very under-seasoned, lol) and thoroughly enjoying some sauteed chanterelle mushrooms. I avoided gluten for about 2-3 months, and slowly started adding it to see how my body responded (like an elimination diet). The biggest thing about the transition off was feeling overwhelmed by the possibilities, even with my self-imposed limitations.
My diet now is the same it has been since then, vegan, avoiding processed foods. My biggest indulgence is organic, fair-trade, 70+% dark chocolate and that's small amounts, sparingly. I don't have a crazy sweet tooth like I used to and it's almost always satisfied by fresh fruit. I do enjoy (egg and dairy free) bread sometimes too. I don't think of what I eat from a caloric standpoint, only nutrition and taste. I eat less, feel better and have a completely different self-image. My juice feast start anniversary is coming up in a couple weeks, and I'm thinking of doing a mini one, we'll see.
Do you ever disagree with any of your clients' parenting decisions? How do you handle that?
Yes, but not so much "disagree" with their decisions for them, as their decisions for me, if that makes sense. I have a very strong belief that the only one who can make the right decision for themselves and their family is the individual. Perhaps it's easier as a professional who hasn't had her own kids yet, but I've always had an easy sense of the boundaries and how to navigate them. There are many contentious parenting practices, and I work with families who choose things (or need to do things) that I wouldn't choose for myself and my family (circumcision, formula feeding, early and strict CIO, etc). I would bet money that these families wouldn't know that I would do things differently. My biggest struggles are remaining unbiased when I present/teach information (I focus on evidence-based information) and not feeling/expressing judgment in any questions/expressions/actions. I do have colleagues who choose not to work with families who have different stances of certain parenting decisions, and I respect that. But, personally, for the most part my clients are hiring me to help them with the aspects that they need help with and support in finding how they want to parent. I strive to be a professional, knowledgeable, and non-judgmental support person during the time we work together. That said, I wouldn't be comfortable supporting a family that was doing anything I felt was truly harmful to the children, and if that were the case I would have to find a way to gently educate them and/or find another professional who could support their decisions.
You're a doula and LC, right? Can you share a bit about the process to earn those titles and how long it took? Is there a large financial investment for the training?
sahm ~ toddler breastfeeder ~ cloth diaperer ~ baby wearer
Yep, I usually try to keep it a bit underwraps online to avoid professional and message board cross-over, but I love my work and talking about it. I'm a birth and postpartum dou.la care, teach cbe and newborn classes and I'm in the process of becoming an int'l board.certified LC (currently a bfing specialist). I'm certified (sometimes more than once) in everything I do, which adds another logistical and financial dimension. I've been doing it for five years and have slowly added each role/credential. In 2007, I took the international organization approved birth dou.la training that is taught locally (luckily I live where the North American dou.la role was "created"). I went on to be certified by our local org and the international one, which took some reading, attending births, getting evaluations and doing a bunch of paperwork. That fall I did the training similar for postpartum and certified with the local org, which I later joined the board of directors of for a couple years. After working and going to school, I started assisting with cbe classes and enjoyed the idea of teaching. In 2009, I did a local training and then certified with an international org and started teaching with a non-profit. I teach random evenings and Saturdays throughout the year.
I knew I wanted to expand and focus on supporting bfing, so I started looking into it a few years back. There are many credentials for that, but I was drawn to the "gold standard." In late 2010, after I finished grad school (yes, I was doing all this while in school), I began to seriously look into the path to becoming board certified. This has been the longest and most complex one (for good reason). I've taken hundreds of hours of didactic training, done an intensive internship at a hospital out of state, college level courses (thankfully I had some of the eight area requirements) and now I'm about half-way through my clinical hour requirements. Getting hours has been harder than I thought, because they're very strict about what counts. I need to finish them before I can sit for boards next July.
Financially, each of these trainings have cost about $500-700, certification processing about $100 and dues to each org (5 at that point) are about $100 each per year, plus annual liability insurance of about $100. For business start-up expenses, it was basically a business license $50-100 per year (I do state and two cities, the one I live in and the one I practice in most), a website (C and I do it) and some business cards. I also have private pay health insurance. So there isn't overhead of a store or supplies, but I pay taxes (about 15-30% of my gross income) and business maintenance related expenses.
Continuing education is a requirement for all the orgs, and it's important to me, so I regularly purchase books, attend conferences and workshops, do webinars, etc. I've spent about $1000-3000 per year on continuing ed, but I know people who meet reqs for a lot less. The LC stuff has been the most pricey. I've put in roughly $3-5k and still have a ways to go. The exam alone is about $600 and the dues for the org once I'm certified are about $200 a year. Once I'm done with that, I don't plan to add any more credentials (unless it's a PhD).
A final financial aspect is the instability of income. Being self-employed, I don't have a salary or employer provided benefits. There are lots of dou.las who take the training and then don't become professionals (for a variety of reasons). Supporting families, being a business owner and being a sustainable business owner whose role is supports families are three different things and it takes a certain desire and effort to get the last one right.
Sheesh, I just wrote a novella.
Mrs. F, are you interested in looking into it for yourself? If so, feel free to connect with me directly and I can give you more specifics and some advice.
AMH 0.5, AFC 5-8, FSH 7ish
IVF #1 - antagonist. Empty follicle syndrome. 1 retrieved, 0 fertilized.
IVF #2 - antagonist. Ovulated early. 3 retrieved, 2 fertilized, 0 blasts
I've always been fascinated by your job too. Is it incredibly difficult to do in times where you're either actively TTCing or wanting to TTC?
How do you react if/when clients have questions or criticisms regarding your expertise considering that you don't have children yet (assuming that they know, but I would imagine it comes up)?
IVF Oct/Nov 2012
Beta #1 = 77, Beta #2 = 190, Beta #3 = 1044
Cautiously optimistic.
Thanks for the response! I do think from time to time about that type of career. Be it doula, cbe, or lactaction consultant. You will definitely be hearing from me if I start to head down the path!!
sahm ~ toddler breastfeeder ~ cloth diaperer ~ baby wearer
Is it incredibly difficult to do in times where you're either actively TTCing or wanting to TTC?
Yes. The hardest part is that I generally have both birth (on-call) and/or overnight postpartum (can't temp consistently). When we were trying before, I took time off from dou.la work. (I was also in school and getting ready to move, not ideal, hence our stopping before bfp). For future ttc, I hope to be able to focus on daytime clients and LC support, but since that's not generally the majority of my income, that's stressful in and of itself. This is all part of the reason I occasionally apply to really great 9-5 jobs that I could us my masters toward instead of dou.la work. Sigh.
How do you react if/when clients have questions or criticisms regarding your expertise considering that you don't have children yet (assuming that they know, but I would imagine it comes up)?
If it comes up during interviews, I bring up my background, education and experience. This usually includes some combination of the fact that I have five younger siblings, lots of cousins, babysitting since I was a teen, attending my first birth at a young age, college-level courses in human development, thousands of hours supporting and educating hundreds of families, certification from five independent professional organizations, background checks, liability insurance, etc. Also, not having kids makes my scheduling and likelihood of needing back-up support much easier. If it doesn't come up in the interview, it usually does at some point, but by then my clients love me.
There may be some clients that are not hiring me because I'm not a parent, but it could also be personality fit, pricing, etc and I try not to worry about what I can't control. If having kids helps me get hired in the future, all the better.
I'm sure these are not your typical clients, but in your mind would this advice extend to individuals of particularly low socio-economic status and/or with low educational attainment and/or mild impairment related to MH or cognitive limitations? Would an individual "lose" this ability to make the right decisions about everyday parenting decisions if the family has also experienced abuse or neglect? Forgive me if this is not a conversation you want to get in to, but I'm really curious on your thoughts.
IVF Oct/Nov 2012
Beta #1 = 77, Beta #2 = 190, Beta #3 = 1044
Cautiously optimistic.
While my typical clients are definitely "financially comfortable" (often much more so than myself), I have and do work with those in lower SES brackets and/or with low educational attainment (not so much impairment related to MH or cognitive limitations) most often as a volunteer.
I don't believe an individual "loses" the ability to make decision about everyday parenting choices. My philosophy is based on informed consent. Due to their specific factor, they may need more education, resources and individualized support as they work though their options and want will work best for them and their baby. (You asked about "the right decision" but I think their informed decision should be considered "the right decision" for them.)
If the family (as in parents?) experienced abuse or neglect, then I would be concerned that they are at higher risk in general for potentially negative experiences/events and would therefore be more conscientious about their potential need for additional support, resources and education.
AMH 0.5, AFC 5-8, FSH 7ish
IVF #1 - antagonist. Empty follicle syndrome. 1 retrieved, 0 fertilized.
IVF #2 - antagonist. Ovulated early. 3 retrieved, 2 fertilized, 0 blasts
Cool! I have a Masters in Public Health and was a Sociology major in college. University of Washington has a great public health school, as you probably know.
AMH 0.5, AFC 5-8, FSH 7ish
IVF #1 - antagonist. Empty follicle syndrome. 1 retrieved, 0 fertilized.
IVF #2 - antagonist. Ovulated early. 3 retrieved, 2 fertilized, 0 blasts