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Natural Birth
Bradley Method theory and my thoughts
I've been reading Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way where they discuss the three emotional steps of stage one of labor and find it so interesting. The third stage, the one you go through right before it's time to push, is self doubt. Self doubt as in, "I can't do this." "I'm going to need an epi." "This is too hard for me to handle." During this step, you have been working so hard that you don't recognize this as the third, and perfectly natural step. This is the very last step (and a rather short step) before the relief of pushing begins.
Doesn't it seem that in listening to birth stories, women often say they got so far, but then in a moment of self doubt someone tried to push the epi and they agreed, or that they were so overwhelmed that they agreed without thinking it through? Like maybe few people recognize this moment of weakness as a milestone and instead see it as failure?
I wonder how many women shooting for all natural would still get the epi if once they hit this milestone, they were reminded of what it means?
Just rambling thoughts on my part.....
the things Jager will do to you - knocked up since 01/01/2012
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Re: Bradley Method theory and my thoughts
I only read about the natural "signposts" of labour after the birth of my second son and I wish I would have known before he was born. I had a scary-fast labour with him (45 minutes of pre-pushing labour) and, in hindsight and looking at those signposts, I am convinced I started labour in transition. I had planned an all-natural hbac, and I felt like such a failure when I was screaming out in pain and buckling at the knees from the first contractions. I really felt like an idiot, planning a homebirth and here I couldn't even handle "early" labour. I ended up getting the homebirth, although I think it only happened because things happened too fast for me to consider getting to the hospital. But if I had known how fast things were happening and was able to believe I was coping just fine since I was already almost done, I think I'd have a lot more positive memories of the birth. All I could think at the time was that if "early" labour was that bad, there was no way I could do it as it would probably kill me. As it is, all I remember is pain/futility.
So yeah. Good information to have!
I definitely can see the self doubt as that final stage before pushing. While I was in transition and was so close, I said several times, "I can't do this anymore." My DH never once asked or questioned me about needing relief and I didn't really mean it because I knew in my mind that it meant I was at the final stage and the end was near. I think it's important for women who are trying to go the natural route to know that it means you are so close! I think many women do cave when they get to that point because it is so intense.
Then of course I realize that hindsight is 20/20 and I didn't know any better, yadda yadda.
I do think there's a matter of "in hindsight, I should have realized I was only an hour away from pushing" but from my understanding (still having to give birth, so anecdotal info only), it's pretty hard to push through when you hit transition because there could potentially still be a few hours before you're ready to push and it might seem overwhelming at the time to imagine dealing with that, particularly if labor has been going on for hours and hours already.
That said, I do agree that understanding that there is a definite end in sight and being encouraged would help a lot of women with their med-free goals at that stage, as they are vulnerable to thinking that they've gone as far as they can at that point.
That said as well, again, I haven't given birth so this is only based on friend's and family's stories. But I am encouraging my husband to stay positive with me and to give me encouragement and support instead of saying to just get the epi, so hopefully all will go as planned.
Sometimes, I'm hilarious.
An aquaintence of mine shared that with her first, she didn't realize the signpost and ended up with an epi when labor/delivery was pretty much over. With the second, she had a home birth and then realized that she had actually labored through the hardest pain *before* the epi with her first, and the epi was really unnecessary and offered very little relief in the grand scheme of things. So with her third, she is definitely doing a home birth again.
Yes, I think if women were more aware, the epi would be turned down more often! The problem, though, are those women like my sister who had a really, really hard first labor and kept thinking "this must be transition" only to be told she'd only progressed 3 cm in 20+ hours. Ugh. Praying that doesn't happen to me.
I completely agree and that is exactly what happened to me at my first birth. I tried to go natural without much training in a hospital setting. Once I hit 8 cm I wasn't able to endure the pain anymore and asked the doctors, "but aren't I at the end? Don't I only have a little bit more to go?" They shrugged and said, "not necessarily." Therefore I caved and got the epi b/c I was terrified that I'd get stuck at that point for hours. I only had it for an hour before I started to push. This time I am hiring a doula to get me through that rough phase.
With my HBAC, I somehow went through the doubting phase while still in denial that I was in labor--I'm lucky I didn't have an unintended unassisted birth haha
OP, I agree.
This was what happened to me. I'd been in labor for about 20 hours, my water broke, contrax were coming every 2 minutes, lasting 60-90 seconds, I was shaking uncontrollably and vomiting during every contraction. When they checked me, I was at 3.5cm, and crushed. I didn't think there was any way I'd be able to do it.
I mostly just procrastinated my way out of the epi, figuring I'd wait just a little longer each time it crossed my mind, and then in two hours it was time to push. But I can definitely understand how defeating it can feel, even when you've studied Bradley and know the signposts like I did.