Bradley Method theory and my thoughts

chronoptomist

I've been reading Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way where they discuss the three emotional steps of stage one of labor and find it so interesting.  The third stage, the one you go through right before it's time to push, is self doubt.  Self doubt as in, "I can't do this." "I'm going to need an epi."  "This is too hard for me to handle."  During this step, you have been working so hard that you don't recognize this as the third, and perfectly natural step.  This is the very last step (and a rather short step) before the relief of pushing begins.  

Doesn't it seem that in listening to birth stories, women often say they got so far, but then in a  moment of self doubt someone tried to push the epi and they agreed, or that they were so overwhelmed that they agreed without thinking it through?  Like maybe few people recognize this moment of weakness as a milestone and instead see it as failure?  

I wonder how many women shooting for all natural would still get the epi if once they hit this milestone, they were reminded of what it means?  

Just rambling thoughts on my part..... 

annabelle.27

I only read about the natural "signposts" of labour after the birth of my second son and I wish I would have known before he was born. I had a scary-fast labour with him (45 minutes of pre-pushing labour) and, in hindsight and looking at those signposts, I am convinced I started labour in transition. I had planned an all-natural hbac, and I felt like such a failure when I was screaming out in pain and buckling at the knees from the first contractions. I really felt like an idiot, planning a homebirth and here I couldn't even handle "early" labour. I ended up getting the homebirth, although I think it only happened because things happened too fast for me to consider getting to the hospital. But if I had known how fast things were happening and was able to believe I was coping just fine since I was already almost done, I think I'd have a lot more positive memories of the birth. All I could think at the time was that if "early" labour was that bad, there was no way I could do it as it would probably kill me. As it is, all I remember is pain/futility.

So yeah. Good information to have!

abp51008

I definitely can see the self doubt as that final stage before pushing. While I was in transition and was so close, I said several times, "I can't do this anymore." My DH never once asked or questioned me about needing relief and I didn't really mean it because I knew in my mind that it meant I was at the final stage and the end was near. I think it's important for women who are trying to go the natural route to know that it means you are so close! I think many women do cave when they get to that point because it is so intense.

aylafsu88

I have to agree with you!  I think many women would not get an epi if someone reminded/told them this!  I also think if these women are surrounded by a strong support system it would help them get through this emotional stage. For me I know I defiantly went though this stage.  I remember when I was fully dialted and LO was descending in the birth canal I was very overwhelmed.  The pressure was so intense and I was tired.  I remember yelling that I couldnt do this anymore and that I wanted to give up.  Fortunately I had a wonderful support system, my DH and doula, who were positive and talked me through this moment.  Through their support and positive attitudes I was able to achieve the natural birth I wanted!

BakerMommy

I definitely was in that stage when I got the epi with DD1. My thoughts were "I can't do this" and "I don't know what I want" which are both in the book describing that signpost. I kick myself that I didn't just power throughI was already at 8 for heaven's sake!
Then of course I realize that hindsight is 20/20 and I didn't know any better, yadda yadda.

mystrana

I do think there's a matter of "in hindsight, I should have realized I was only an hour away from pushing" but from my understanding (still having to give birth, so anecdotal info only), it's pretty hard to push through when you hit transition because there could potentially still be a few hours before you're ready to push and it might seem overwhelming at the time to imagine dealing with that, particularly if labor has been going on for hours and hours already.

That said, I do agree that understanding that there is a definite end in sight and being encouraged would help a lot of women with their med-free goals at that stage, as they are vulnerable to thinking that they've gone as far as they can at that point. 

That said as well, again, I haven't given birth so this is only based on friend's and family's stories. But I am encouraging my husband to stay positive with me and to give me encouragement and support instead of saying to just get the epi, so hopefully all will go as planned.

zaramarie81

An aquaintence of mine shared that with her first, she didn't realize the signpost and ended up with an epi when labor/delivery was pretty much over. With the second, she had a home birth and then realized that she had actually labored through the hardest pain *before* the epi with her first, and the epi was really unnecessary and offered very little relief in the grand scheme of things. So with her third, she is definitely doing a home birth again.

Yes, I think if women were more aware, the epi would be turned down more often! The problem, though, are those women like my sister who had a really, really hard first labor and kept thinking "this must be transition" only to be told she'd only progressed 3 cm in 20+ hours. Ugh. Praying that doesn't happen to me.

jillms413

I completely agree and that is exactly what happened to me at my first birth.  I tried to go natural without much training in a hospital setting. Once I hit 8 cm I wasn't able to endure the pain anymore and asked the doctors, "but aren't I at the end?  Don't I only have a little bit more to go?"  They shrugged and said, "not necessarily."  Therefore I caved and got the epi b/c I was terrified that I'd get stuck at that point for hours.  I only had it for an hour before I started to push.  This time I am hiring a doula to get me through that rough phase.

 

Jcrab

Interesting and makes sense. I just wanted to say that if women are in a supportive comfortable environment then they might not even get to this doubting phase. I really didn't do it with my HBAC, which is part of the reason we didn't call the MW to come until just before I started pushing. Oops!

*LrCg*

I had read this book prior to my first birth (home birth) and can recall my midwife saying that if I ever make any statement that I can't do it any longer, etc. then she takes it VERY serious and off you go- she gives no second chances.  I had told my DH this and told him that when the time came to have a serious talk with me and remind myself what I choose prior and see if this is what I really wanted.  I just think this is a very fine line issue and that providers have to take it very serious so I completely understand a medical provider not reminding, etc.  HOWEVER, I can honestly say that during my labor I never thought this way.  I never thought I couldn't do it.  The sign for me that I was in transition was I threw up my food and then I knew it was time to push. 

iris427

Jcrab:

Interesting and makes sense. I just wanted to say that if women are in a supportive comfortable environment then they might not even get to this doubting phase. I really didn't do it with my HBAC, which is part of the reason we didn't call the MW to come until just before I started pushing. Oops!

With my HBAC, I somehow went through the doubting phase while still in denial that I was in labor--I'm lucky I didn't have an unintended unassisted birth haha

OP, I agree. 

00jennifer00

This actually happens to me EVERY single labor/birth.  With my first, it was earlier in labor (I was nauseous from the bed that rocked back and forth that they made me stay in and just gave up).  With my others, they were born at home, and dh knew better.  He told me NO and kept encouraging me.  I think just as important as making sure mom's to be know this, also their labor partners need to know too.  Dh knows that under no non-surgical circumstance do I ever want drugs/epi, but I will most definitely beg for it and say I do.  I would flip if mw transported me for a moment of craziness.

wannabigfam

The emotional mileposts were very helpful to me during my first labor.  However, I skipped right over the self-doubt stage - never had ANY doubt.  At all.  I was so relaxed and in control it just felt very natural.  The most helpful milepost to me was the "I am not safe here" milepost - not sure if it's in the book or not, but our bradley instructor told us that if we were laboring at home and suddenly didn't feel safe, it was time to BOOK it to the hospital.  I waited until I had that "I'm not safe" feeling, headed to the hospital (12 min drive) - ends up I was 9.5 cm dilated.  Perfect timing!  I'm going for that feeling again before heading in w/ this labor.

runrinserepeat

zaramarie81:

Yes, I think if women were more aware, the epi would be turned down more often! The problem, though, are those women like my sister who had a really, really hard first labor and kept thinking "this must be transition" only to be told she'd only progressed 3 cm in 20+ hours. Ugh. Praying that doesn't happen to me.

This was what happened to me. I'd been in labor for about 20 hours, my water broke, contrax were coming every 2 minutes, lasting 60-90 seconds, I was shaking uncontrollably and vomiting during every contraction. When they checked me, I was at 3.5cm, and crushed. I didn't think there was any way I'd be able to do it.

I mostly just procrastinated my way out of the epi, figuring I'd wait just a little longer each time it crossed my mind, and then in two hours it was time to push. But I can definitely understand how defeating it can feel, even when you've studied Bradley and know the signposts like I did.

bren27lee

I studied Bradley Method and recall telling my husband 'I don't know if I can do this' at one point, but when you leave yourself no other option, you just do it.  It helped that in my birth plan I requested to NOT be offered pain relief.