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I hate the phrase "moving on"

signoflovesignoflove member
in Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss
It scares me that "moving on" somehow means I'm not allowed to be sad anymore. I found myself able to smile again much sooner than I thought I would. I know it probably doesn't make sense but it feels like once I've been able to have even a semi-happy moment that people will think I'm done grieving. 
"The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt within the heart. - Helen Keller" Anniversary
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Re: I hate the phrase "moving on"

  • Ble55edBle55ed member
    I definitely think we are allowed to have happy moments even though we are sad and grieving. This is hard for me too! For me, I almost lost my life so I have had this extreme gratefulness and extreme sadness all in one. It is hard to feel so thankful and so sad. It makes me feel emotionally very unstable at moments. You need to just be able to allow all of your feelings as they come. Don't let others determine your emotions they should be all your own. The fact is that you will for the rest of your life be missing a little piece of your heart. Let yourself cry when you need to but don't hold back your laughs either! 
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  • MauLoaM0MMauLoaM0M member
    Moving on will mean different things for each of us. I know I have good days & bad days. ((Hugs)) to you!

    BFP #2: 08/23/12; EDD: 05/04/13 ~Please stick little one!!! DS born 05/09/13 at 40w5d

    BFP #1: 05/05/12; EDD: 01/01/13; m/c: 05/21/12 ~Forever in our hearts~ 

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  • MrsFunk07MrsFunk07 member

    I totally know what you mean, signoflove. It's weird that it is perceived that if we act "happy" or in a good mood, it means we are "over" what happened and not sad anymore. In reality, we most likely feel every emotion possible in one given day. I can go from laughing and having a good time, to resentful and jealous in the next moment. 

     I am so frustrated that my MIL now says "only one more month until you can try again" and " you won't feel better until you get pregnant again"  Just because I only needed to wait two cycles before trying again doesn't mean that we will right away. She somehow thinks I will "be over" what happened when I get pregnant again?!?   I am sorry, but what happened to me is not something I will ever "get over" or "move on from" it will be something that I get used to accepting. 

    We need to accept our emotions as they come and not apologize for them.  Healing takes time. We have no idea how long it takes. We should just focus on each day as it comes.

    Sorry for all the venting. 

    Wishing you a calm, relaxing, "happy on the outside" kind of a day.

    Mrsfunk07 

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  • angieD24angieD24
    After our loss, our counselor said that we will never "move on", we will "move forward" and I completely believe that. She said that we will eventually smile, laugh, and have a good time again, but that doesn't mean that we have forgotten. It just means that we are picking up and taking that difficult part of our lives with us on the rest our journey. Hope this helps ; )
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  • jbg23jbg23 member

    imageangieD24:
    After our loss, our counselor said that we will never "move on", we will "move forward" and I completely believe that. She said that we will eventually smile, laugh, and have a good time again, but that doesn't mean that we have forgotten. It just means that we are picking up and taking that difficult part of our lives with us on the rest our journey. Hope this helps ; )

    I love this. Thanks for sharing! I really needed to hear that!

    Me-"JB"(26) DH(29)
    Married since 2008 with 1 precious furbaby.
    Mis-dx with PCOS & Hypothyroidism. New Dx= Hypoandrenia & hormone imbalance
    BFP #1 on 3rd round of Clomid (50mg).
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