frustrated with daycare... long... WWYD?

lijuan09 · August 2012

This is N's second week in daycare. One day last week I arrived in the afternoon to find out that he had not been fed AT ALL in the morning due to a miscommunication that was the daycare's fault. I won't get into that story now but I found out through the afternoon teacher and then I took myself to the director and made her explain it to me. I was semi-satisfied that she said the morning teacher had been written up and that if something else happens she will be suspended.

I was extremely relieved that the afternoon teacher told me about the mishap, otherwise it didn't seem like the director and the manager were too eager to tell me. (gee I can't imagine why!) I felt like I could trust the afternoon teacher.

So today after DH brought him home I looked at the little daily report they write out. The afternoon teacher took it upon herself to put some ointment (don't know what kind - I didn't send any in) on his butt because he looked red. That was the first thing I was upset about. Then I read the rest of his page.

"At 2:00 when I got here Ms. (morning teacher) was trying to give him his squash, but he was refusing it, so I had a container of squash and peaches in the cabinet, so I gave that to him and he loved it!"

She also told DH that she tried to call me, and I did get a call while I was working on my classroom, but I have lousy reception in there and it didn't connect well. I had no idea it was the daycare calling me (she didn't call from their phone) or I would have gone outside and called back.

She meant well but this kid has never had peaches before. We are trying to do the right thing and introduce solids one thing at a time in case he has a reaction. My mother was allergic to peaches! So far DS seems to be fine - his spit up had some peach residue in it but he hasn't broken out or had trouble breathing or anything.

So, all that to say, how upset would you be about this? I have very little experience with daycare so I don't know if I'm over- or under-reacting. This afternoon teacher will be leaving next week to go to college, and who knows what her replacement will be like. Changing daycares is an option but I'm waiting for my school district's daycare to open next week - he's on the waiting list there.

Parker16772 · August 2012

I think I would pretty upset. Not sure about laws in your state but I had to fill out a form that gave them permission to use diaper cream and they only use what I sent if E has a diaper rash. I also provide all of his food and they haven't ever tried to feed him anything else. They send home a form each month for me to update with his approx feeding times, amounts and what he is eating. I would have been upset they just gave him other food without asking. I am luckily that I love my sons teacher. She is there until three and then they rotate between two other teachers in the afternoon. I would def have another talk with the director and if you aren't comfortable two weeks in maybe think about changing? I guess I don't understand how they didn't feel him all morning? Poor baby! E would have been screaming his head off!

lijuan09 · August 2012

The story about not feeding him all morning: last Thursday I took him in around 9 and found out that he and the other 2 babies had to go to the toddler room. They didn't tell me why, and I didn't think to ask - they had already done that one day before when they had to combine classes. So I walked into the toddler room and saw one teacher with five babies/toddlers. This was a teacher I had not met before. She had all the toddlers in high chairs and was getting ready to feed them. The 2 other babies were on the floor in bouncy seats. She asked me "when does he eat?" and I said, since I saw her preparing to feed the toddlers, "he eats in the afternoon." (He eats his solids in the afternoon.)

Fast forward, I leave the daycare and realize that the teacher may be confused about his bottles, so I call and the director answers. I tell her, "I forgot to tell the teacher that N needs his bottle at 10." She says, "Ok, I will tell the teacher." I hang up and go about my day.

Fast forward even more to the afternoon when I pick him up and the afternoon teacher asks me if the director or manager had told me what happened when I came in. Of course they hadn't, so then she informs me that the morning teacher did not give N his bottle at all. Between her story and the director's story, I have gathered that the director told the morning teacher to "feed him at 10," and the morning teacher was confused as to which thing to feed him since he had bottles and solids in his bag. So she just didn't feed him. (I know, WTF??) This is why she got written up.

I also mentioned to the director that I noticed six kids (including N) with one teacher, and she was very quick to say that she removed one kid as soon as N got there. (5:1 is the absolute max legal ratio.) She also said that when she went to give the teacher her break at lunch time, N was sleeping peacefully, so she didn't know he hadn't eaten. DH even went to check on him at lunch, and he really was taking a nap. For some reason N just does not cry when he's hungry, which is why we have to keep track of when we are supposed to feed him. (I think it has to do with my supply issues and his poor weight gain in the first couple of months - but that's another long story.)

So there's the rest of the background. Sorry it's so long, but there are a lot of important details.

Parker16772 · August 2012

I could understand how they might be confused as to which to feed him solids or a bottle but not feeding him at all? That just doesn't make since. If they couldn't get a hold of you they should have just given him a bottle. I would def be very upset about this. The whole point of the logs is so that the morning afternoon teacher keep everything straight and things like that don't happen.

mbf124 · August 2012

I'd be more than pissed. I'm really overprotective, but I wouldn't take my daughter back there again if this happened to us.

It's NOT okay for the teacher to feed him something she had in her cabinet. WTF is that? Even if he had peaches before, what if you are strictly feeding organics only or something. I would be livid.

sportsmomma · August 2012

I would be extremely upset and either get everyone to sit down together to get on the same page or look for another option with stricter policies.

JammieJk · August 2012

This just makes me so sad. I feel so bad for your baby not eating all morning.

And then the peaches part of it... yikes. I'm glad he seems ok/no reaction.

In my opinion, it's the parent's responsibility to determine when they want to introduce a new food... not only for safety concerns but also because it's a "first". We miss so much because we have to work, the food thing is just way too important to me to compromise at all.

If the daycare can't meet your needs and this only the second week there and they're already flubbing it up, then there has to be another one out there that can. I'm so sorry.

janamg · August 2012

I would have freaked out and probly got asked to leave, that's just me though. I can't believe they 1 didn't feed him, 2 gave him food that you didn't ok, and 3 put some sort of cream on him too. That is 3 strikes in my book.

I am so sorry you and your DS have to go through this. I hope you can figure something out. Good luck!

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frustrated with daycare... long... WWYD?

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