Religion

MeatballEsq · August 2012

I was raised Catholic, went to Catholic school K-12, but as an adult I've fallen away (purposely) from the Catholic church. DH was raised in a church, but never became a member (they have a lot of rules, so none of the kids are actually members).

I'm okay with not raising my son in a religion. I'm assuming people either feel strongly one way or the other about it for their child. Just curious what everyone else is planning on doing.

And yes this post is intended to cause conversation. I'm not looking for religious advice from the interwebz Wink

stephdil17 · August 2012

I am Protestant but don't go to church very often. MH is Catholic and he does not attend. We were married in the Protestant Church by my aunt and DS was baptized Protestant by my aunt. This LO will be baptized Protestant as well. I am not very religious but I do believe in bringing the child to God.

mystrana · August 2012

DH's family is Mormon, but he is not. I identify as Lutheran but am not practicing (although the hymns have stuck with me, for some reason. I imagine it has to do with music always having been my favorite way to relax/de-stress) Our son will most likely grow up without going to a church but our goal is to teach patience and understanding of others, treating people as people and not judging someone for having different beliefs. Lofty goals, I know.

ifwisheswerefishes · August 2012

DH and i were both raised in the church (that's actually where we met), and we are planning on raising LO in the church, as well. currently we attend a non-denominational church with both sets of parents and siblings, and we love where we're at

mystrana · August 2012

jlk6:
My DH was raised catholic but he didn't consistently go to church as a teenager and then joined the army and hasn't been to a catholic church in over 10 years except for funerals. My family never went to church consistently growing up and we also moved a lot so we never joined a church. Since I've been an adult I've been to church just a handful of times. I believe in God, I can just never get myself into the habit of going to church. At the beginning of the year we started going to a church in our town because we wanted to have a church to take our kids too. We ended up going twice and haven't been back since. I feel like the "right" thing to do is to take our son to church but we just can't seem to get ourselves into it.

I think that it sounds like you will be able to teach your kids your beliefs without needing a church. A church can be a good place to go for community and for support, but if it's not working out, it's not the "right" thing for your family. At least, I guess that's how I justify not going.

AppleMomma · August 2012

While we attend a Baptist church, we aren't tied to a denomination. We a Christians and our purpose as parents will be to convey Christ's love to them. Ultimately their faith will be their choice, we leave that in God's hands. We believe faith is a choice not something to be forced upon anyone.

gingerchix1980 · August 2012

Dh was raised catholic i was raised protestant. We are now both atheist and plan on raising our children with the same morals and values that our parents instilled in us - just not in a religious context.

Boots&Bows · August 2012

We've been visiting churches for a while and have finally found one that feels right and we're considering joining. I was raised going to a very traditional church every Sunday. It was non-negotiable about attending when we were growing up and as soon as I left for college, I quit going to church period. DH was raised going to church on Christmas and Easter with his grandparents, not his parents.

We've now found a place that is more contemporary with a little tradition thrown in. We both woud really like to become part of a church family and raise our kids to know that church is something you want to do rather than something you're forced to do. I think church can also be a place for kids to make friends outside of the neighborhood or school.

My BIL and SIL are not religious at all and have decided to let my nephew decide when he's older if he wants to be religious or not. That's their choice and not my place to judge them for it.

Man, I could write a novel about this topic, but I'll wait to see some of the responses.

freeatlast2014 · August 2012

DH and I were brought up Catholic but are both not practicing. We have made all of our Sacraments though. We baptized DS1 in the Catholic church and will do the same with #2. I hope to get into the habit of attending church once the kids are a bit older as well as sending them to religious classes and having them make all of their sacraments. I hope the church doesn't give me a hard time (about DS2) since I joined only to baptize DS1 and haven't been once or sent in 1 envelope. We'll see.

I know this is hypocritical of me but I feel it is important that they have the foundation and when they are adults they can choose to practice or not practice.

You know, they need to "Do as I say, not as I do" lol.

redneckmomma25 · August 2012

Both DH and I are born again Christians. We attend a non denominational church that is probably closest to baptist. We were both raised in the church and will raise out children in the church. We attend church with my in laws. I went to a private Christian school k-12, DH went to public school a few years then was home schooled and finished early.

mystrana · August 2012

tara1223:
I have a lot of issues with the Catholic church, and we did a lot of searching to find a parish with a pastor with philosophies and beliefs that are more in line with my school of thought. I prefer a more progressive church than the archaic bullshiit I grew up in that made me have such distaste for my religion.
The Catholic religion is important to MH (which is why we were married in the Catholic church, by the coolest priest, evar), and I'm indifferent, so I agreed that we will raise our kids Catholic, but I will not allow them to be subjected to what I was. I don't have issues with the Catholic religion at it's core and do believe that every church is secular. You just have to find the one that fits you best, if there is one. So far I don't have any major gripes with the church we are registered at.
And that's the end of my book.

The bolded points are really important, I think. What sometimes people miss is that just because there are some really loud churches out there that might make a bad name for religion - it doesn't have to be that way. There are options out there. That is what we will let our kids know.

phytoocean · August 2012

Neither my husband nor I believe in God, so no church for us. If our child wanted to explore religion when he was older, I would be all for that, I think everyone can find their own path and own belief system.

mavs41 · August 2012

We were both raised going to a Baptist church, but we believe being Christian doesn't have anything to do with denominations or church attendance. Since we were married we've been going to a non-denominational church but DH has been working Sundays for the past year so I've been going by myself some - but not every week. DH is trying to get schedule adjusted so we can go to church as a family, that is important to us.

We will raise our children in the church but definitely not force them to believe or do anything.

Boots&Bows · August 2012

Bethevans85:
Both DH and I are born again Christians. We attend a non denominational church that is probably closest to baptist. We were both raised in the church and will raise out children in the church. We attend church with my in laws. I went to a private Christian school k-12, DH went to public school a few years then was home schooled and finished early.

What exactly is a born again Chrisian? I've heard this term a lot but never really have understood what it meant. Does it mean you were raised one religion, strayed away for whatever reason, and then found God again as an adult? I'm genuinely curious and hope you're not offended by me asking.

CdnFarmGirl08 · August 2012

I was raised in Lutheran church and DH was raised in a Mennonite church. I stopped going in High School because I didn't really like the way people were treated by some of the "more important/higher up" (lack of better words) in our church.

When I met DH he asked me to come with him to his church and I've gone ever since. I enjoy the people and the atmosphere there and we will most likely raise our children in that church.

The only big thing is that I was baptized as a baby in the United church and DH has not been baptized as they believe to baptize when they feel they are ready and understand the beliefs behind it, so most peope do it around age 16+. I would like my baby to be baptized as a baby, but not sure if that will work with my DH. It's a conversation we need to have!

BabySeaTurtles · August 2012

Both DH and I are Christians and firmly believe in the power of Jesus Christ. We attend a non-denominational church (Calvary Chapel) and look forward to showing (not forcing) Christ's love to our new LO.

cmarie520 · August 2012

DH and I both belonged to non-denominational churches at one point in our lives, I was also Catholic for a while as well. We have a church we attend on holidays but generally we consider ourselves spiritual but not so religious. I was always raised in a church and will probably become more involved as LO gets older, as I would like him to be involved as well.

Bookelly · August 2012

DH and I were both raised Catholic. I went to Catholic school K-9. DH attended a Catholic high school. DH turned 18 and said, "no more!"; I chose to keep going to church through college. Once I graduated, I fell in love with a Lutheran church whose progressive values more mirrored my own, but now I live an hour away. I still identify as Christian, but I haven't found a church where I feel comfortable.

DH would prefer to never step foot in any kind of church again. I'm on the fence, as I've always wanted to expose my children to enough religion to ground them and to help explain our values and morals. So long as we manage to teach them to be kind, respectful, thoughtful human beings, though, I think I'll feel like we've succeeded whether we end up taking them to church or not.

mavs41 · August 2012

Boots&Bows:

What exactly is a born again Chrisian? I've heard this term a lot but never really have understood what it meant. Does it mean you were raised one religion, strayed away for whatever reason, and then found God again as an adult? I'm genuinely curious and hope you're not offended by me asking.

To most people "born again Christian" pretty much just means Christian. In the Bible it talks about becoming a new creation when you begin a relationship with Christ. Most baptisms I've witnessed (not baby) say something like, "buried with Christ through baptism, raised to walk in newness of life" (or something really close to that). So a "born again Christian" is someone who has chosen to follow Christ and has a new life in Him. Hope that makes sense.

Newt69 · August 2012

I was baptized Catholic but never attended a catholic church ( from what i can remember). I grew up up the road from a Baptist Church but only went for the church school. My old neighbor always said, "it did not matter what house you went to as long as you go", whether she was right or wrong, it did not matter. I went for a few years then started going to a Born Again Christian church with my aunt and uncle, that lasted for a little while then I just stopped. I used to pray alot when I was little and even through college, but I think I was doing it wrong, because I started to lose my faith in a higher power. Plus once I really looked at my own beliefs and education I started to believe in Evolution. So basically I am a proclaimed Atheist.

DH was never baptized and has the same belief on Evolution. Probably a better understanding of it because he is more science orientated then I.

My mother and sister are pushing that LO is baptized something, but being DH and I do not belong to any church it is going to be very hard to get LO baptized when we do not belong.

DH and I have decided that when LO is old enough to ask about God or a higher power we will let him explore the possibilities. We are not going to push him into a set religion.

LyndseylovesHugh · August 2012

My H was raised Mormon but stopped practicing in his early 20s (before we met). He still identifies with being Mormon (the teachings) but does not like a lot of the community aspect. I was raised in a Christian household that very rarely went to church. I believe in God, I pray every day, but I have never felt that I have to attend church just to consider myself Christian. I have never been to a church where I actually believed everything they were saying, I guess you can say I am skeptical of many thing. My H and I do not attend church now and probably will not when our LO is born, but are both wanting to teach our children about God and about different religions, we will most likely do this at home though.

mom2skh · August 2012

phytoocean:
Neither my husband nor I believe in God, so no church for us. If our child wanted to explore religion when he was older, I would be all for that, I think everyone can find their own path and own belief system.

This is DH and I exactly. I was raised in a Catholic home, but am now atheist. DH grew up in a Christian home too tho it was more lax, but is also atheist now. We did not baptize DD1 and do not attend any church.

We have always taught DD1 good morals, and to accept people for who they are and to respect others' beliefs. If our children grow up and learn about a religion that they agree with and want to be a part of, we will support them.

jlh2716 · August 2012

Religion wasn't a huge deal for us while I was growing up. We occasionally went to church, first Methodist, then Presbyterian, and I thought it was insufferably boring. I ignored church til about about a year ago, when I started attending the Mennonite Brethren church.

We'll raise our children in a Christian environment, but of course, ultimately, they'll make their own decisions regarding their faith (or the possible lack thereof). We'll also teach them to think for themselves and not blindly follow us or anyone else, even if it means they don't follow Christ. I feel like that's all we really can do--anything past that is basically shoving our beliefs down their throats.

TAGSL710 · August 2012

MH wasn't raised with religion. I was raised Catholic. I'm spiritual, not religious. We will raise LO to be a good person, that we are all connected and to treat the earth, people and animals with respect. If we can do that, I think we will be successful

linzeek44 · August 2012

We aren't raising our son in a religion either. My family is not religious at all and I wasn't raised in a religion; DH was raised Catholic but doesn't consider himself religious.

AKB090609 · August 2012

I was raised in an Irish catholic church and moved to a state with a very small Irish population. Since I was never able to find the same type of community I feel at home in I tried other churches and never found one that fit. So we now only go to church when we visit our home town or are in Ireland.

hmp1 · August 2012

DH's family is very Catholic and he went to Catholic school until middle school. When his parents divorced, his mom didn't take the boys to church and DH fell away from it. I was raised Methodist and attended a private christian college. DH enjoyed my parents church when we would join them for holidays but as a couple we didn't go to church until we had James. We had my parents' pastor marry us and baptize James. We now go to a Methodist church here. For us it was important to find a family friendly church with a great youth program that our kids will enjoy attending. We also don't like the big mega churches with jumbotrons. It is also very important to us that we belong to a church of acceptance and that the pastor not preach that being gay is a sin.

I never push church/religion on anyone but I do think it can be helpful with raising children.

msualum96 · August 2012

MrsLynnyD:
DH and I were brought up Catholic but are both not practicing. We have made all of our Sacraments though. We baptized DS1 in the Catholic church and will do the same with #2. I hope to get into the habit of attending church once the kids are a bit older as well as sending them to religious classes and having them make all of their sacraments. I hope the church doesn't give me a hard time (about DS2) since I joined only to baptize DS1 and haven't been once or sent in 1 envelope. We'll see.
I know this is hypocritical of me but I feel it is important that they have the foundation and when they are adults they can choose to practice or not practice.
You know, they need to "Do as I say, not as I do" lol.

I could have written this myself!!! We may actually be baptising DD in a different church as we've moved to a new area. But I do like the church where DS was baptised so we'll see. Before I got pg w/ #2, SO's mom was ready to pay for DS to go to Catholic elementary school, but now that there's another LO to consider, I doubt that will happen. I would have been fine with it if that's what she wanted to do, but we certainly aren't going to be able to afford it ourselves. Public school & religious ed are the plan, but again, I don't know if I'm ready to "force" religion on my kids as was done to me...time will tell!

kellelle01 · August 2012

We were both raised Catholic and attended church with our families until we went away to college. We both went to church periodically through college as well, but certainly not every weekend. Since we had DS, we had him baptized, but have only attended here and there (mostly just Easter, Christmas, and maybe 2 or 3 other times a year). We're being so lazy about going and the last two times with DS were a disaster. I know we need to get better about attending and teaching DS how to behave while we're there. We plan on getting DS #2 baptized as well and as things settle down with two LO's, I'm sure we'll get back in to attending...

dmfan897 · August 2012

DH and I are both Christian, though neither of us were raised/grew up in religious families at all. We [after looking for years tons of local churches] have finally settled on a small, slightly progressive local church. A lot of friends attend, there's a great kids program..it has a really good community feel. We are working on becoming members and we plan to attend church with our children regularly. Maybe not every week but at least a few times a month. Once LO #3 is born and we are members, we will have all of them baptized.

MeatballEsq · August 2012

Seems like the Catholic turned aethiests/non-religious is pretty common. I sensed that (and statistics seem to support it too), but it is interesting to see how many former Catholics are on here.

CatBus · August 2012

I identify as agnostic (leaning toward atheist) and H is fully atheist. He was raised as an evangelical Christian, attended a Baptist K-12 school, and went to church at least weekly... then he moved to Seattle after high school and finally got to think for himself. He hated that he was indoctrinated into a religion that he never really believed in, and never had a choice to participate or not.

I was baptized Catholic at age four when my mom and I converted before her marriage to my stepfather. We barely ever went to church. I went through a phase in my early teens where I wanted to be "normal" and go to church, so I started going to a Catholic youth group with friends. Sophomore year of high school, the youth group leader found out one of my friends was gay, and told him he wasn't welcome to return... so our group stopped attending. That was my last involvement in organized religion, and I haven't missed it.

We'll raise our son without a religion, but we definitely anticipate lots of questions from him... and possibly H's parents. We're dreading this.

elizabethwig · August 2012

my mother considers herself religious (not sure my dad would say the same thing), but religion wasn't a huge part of my upbringing apart from a couple religious songs. my partner also didn't grow up religious. we're both athiest, so no religion for our kid. if they want to explore it when they're older, i'll of course support them... but i'm sure i'll be confused where they got it from at first!

jbBeans · August 2012

I was raised Catholic and still consider myself as such but I haven't been very consistent about attending mass. MH wasn't really raised in any church. I would like to attend mass regularly (also considering the Anglican church). I like the community feel that exists in a good church. I know it'd just be me and the kids though--MH said he would come for holidays but not weekly.

And FWIW--I believe in evolution too. Don't remember who was commenting on that but I'd bet most of the "religious" mamas here also believe in evolution. I don't see religion and science as mutually exclusive.

diskogurl · August 2012

Token Jew chiming in! I was raised conservative (middle of the road between reform and orthodox) and continued in college when I met DH who was raised a Christmas/Easter Christian. He had no ties to it and wound up coming with me to synagogue many times while we were dating. I was also very very upfront about marrying and raising a Jewish family. DH studied with a rabbi for a year and converted. His parents and siblings are SO supportive, and it is wonderful. His grandparents are the religious ones (Catholic/Ukranian Orthodox - they go to both) and they were a little hesitant. Although they did participate in the wedding and his grandfather even wore a yarmulke walking down the aisle! We moved and haven't found a synagogue "home" for us yet. They are $$$ and I am still in school and need to get a real job next year. It will also be a good place to meet families - right now we have no other friends with kids.

We will never have a problem dividing Thanksgiving and Christmas between families between my family hosts Thanksgiving and we will always be with his family on Christmas! It will be tough for our children but his parents already give us Hanukkah presents and will do the same for DS. Religion is such a personal thing to me, you really have to be connected/called to God yourself so I'm OK with raising DS in a synagogue and with Jewish customs and rituals at home and then letting him decide as an adult what he feels.

This conversation is so interesting! I've been trying to find mohels recently..everyone knows Jews have a party for the circumcision, right? That conversation is fun with my friends!

bosha711 · August 2012

We are both Catholic. I went to Catholic school prek-8, public HS & then 4 yrs of catholic college. I was also in youth group through HS. I am closer to our faith than MH. We go through phases of going to church every Sunday.

Our son is baptized & will be raised Catholic until he chooses otherwise. We'll do the same for DD.

I had a great experience going through Catholic schooling & being closely involved with the church. I would love for us to give the same to our kids, but the expense may be an issue.

mrsbhk22 · August 2012

DH was raised in a very strict Christian family. I was raised by spiritual hippies that exposed me to a lot of different religions so I could find my own way. Since high school, I've been most comfortable with a progressive Methodist church. My DS school is Christian faith based, but I want them to choose this path....not have it forced down their throats. We talk about God, they know we are believers, and I hope they have an amazing spiritual journey/awakening as they mature.

terri_doula2010 · August 2012

MH was raised Mormon and is not now. He attributes his upbringing in the church to why he has identified as Athiest for most of his adult life.

I was raised to believe in God and told I was Baptist, but only went to church on my own. I loved to sing and talk to people, but I stopped being religious in my 20s.

We joined the Unitarian Universalist church nearby a few months back, looking for community, and fell in love. Through it we've both determined we're religious humanists, though our views do vary in some ways still. It is neat that we've found such positive common ground.

We now plan to raise our kids in the UU church. One of the awesome things is that their religious education will be a study of all religions. That's how the UUs do things. As high school students, they'll even take field trips to other churches. It is weird for both of us sometimes to be so excited about church, but it is nice to be involved in a community that is more about social justice than anything else, and says you are free to believe whatever you'd like.

JessAndTrav · August 2012

Late to the party, but H and I will raise our children in church (Protestant) as we were raised in church and are still active in church. That's actually how we met.

damabo80 · August 2012

I was raised in a church (and attended public school). DH was not raised in a church (but went to a religious private school).

I disagree with many social tenants of organized religion. I think it's good to know the bible stories (so one can understand the phrase "land of milk and honey", among others), but we don't want our kids to blindly but into religious dogma.

DH is very anti religion, Im not super anti, but I'd need to find a social liberal place of worship to feel comfortable. Our kids will not be raised in a church, but I want to teach them bible history.

clickactual · August 2012

DH and I are both Mormon, born and raised. So we will absolutely be raising LO in the LDS church. So glad it's an easy decision for us, cause it's nice to NOT have another thing to worry about!

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