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People can't keep their mouths shut! So frustrated!

Hbananas12Hbananas12
in 1st Trimester

Hi to all fellow mommies,

So...I'm pretty new at this and am about 6 weeks along. I only found out last Monday (about a week ago) that I was even pregnant, and only told a few select people. We wanted to keep this news to ourselves for a little while before going public with it. We just got married a little over a month ago, and I've been looking forward to just being out of the spotlight for awhile.

Less than a week later, somehow my ex best friend found out (or maybe just started a coincidental rumor), and now almost everyone knows. I have tried to track down who the rumor started with but of course you never know for sure. The news is going around the church nursery and this girl's mom (who is known for spreading gossip) is telling everyone like it's a fact (when she doesn't even know for sure and hasn't talked directly to me about it).

I am soooo frustrated that one, she is spreading rumors that, no matter if I know they're true or not, she has no idea herself if it is true because she didn't hear it firsthand, and two, if i haven't told her, IT'S BECAUSE WE DON'T WANT EVERYONE KNOWING YET. I mean hello, isn't that common sense that for news that big, maybe you should keep your mouth shut until you know if it's ok to spread. It's personal information and as an adult with 4 kids of her own, she should have more courtesy than that. I don't really know what to do, right now I am being pressured to tell other close friends because I want them to get the news from me first and not through the grape vine. 

Any advice would be so appreciated. 

Thank you, 

Hannah

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Re: People can't keep their mouths shut! So frustrated!

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  • mben1119mben1119 member
    Who did you tell?  If you told anyone, you can't expect it to remain secret.
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  • PinkRoses53PinkRoses53 member

    imageBliss+Berry:
    IMO, if you didn't want it getting around, you shouldn't have told anyone.  People cannot be trusted with secrets.  The cats out of the bag.
    That is pretty much going to be my exact reply.

    I have told 2 girlfriends but we haven't told any family yet bc I know that someone (probably my MIL) will get excited and slip.  Once we tell, we have to be ok with word getting out.


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  • mrsdeannamrsdeanna member
    imagePinkRoses53:

    imageBliss+Berry:
    IMO, if you didn't want it getting around, you shouldn't have told anyone.  People cannot be trusted with secrets.  The cats out of the bag.
    That is pretty much going to be my exact reply.

    I have told 2 girlfriends but we haven't told any family yet bc I know that someone (probably my MIL) will get excited and slip.  Once we tell, we have to be ok with word getting out.

    This.  My IL's said with DS1 they couldn't keep a secret for that long so they will be the last to know this time around.  

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  • MJH184MJH184
    I agree with all PP's, but I do understand how frustrating it is when you are trying to share exciting news with people you care about and it gets out of control. Unfortunately, it's out there and now you have to deal with it. Or you don't. People are going to talk, but you don't have to until you're ready. Good luck.
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  • Spacebunny19Spacebunny19 member

    Yeah, sadly that's true.  Maybe she started a rumor or maybe she heard it through the grapevine and is passing it along, but once you told a few people in the same loop, it's going to get out.

    Heck, my husband is terrible at keeping secrets, and blew it on telling about my sister's pregnancy (1st one) and told people too early on our DD, too.  He's trying, but he gets excited.   

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  • vivgovivgo

    imageBliss+Berry:
    IMO, if you didn't want it getting around, you shouldn't have told anyone.  People cannot be trusted with secrets.  The cats out of the bag.

    This.

    It sounds like you're the one that couldn't "keep your mouth shut"? 

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  • amyzenamyzen member

    I have a fear of this happening to me.  I told some close friends.  There are some people that I wanted to wait and tell, but they guessed I was pregnant and I couldn't lie.  I have been really staying low key, and want to hide in a cave until my first trimester is over.  I feel like any time that I am at a social gathering, someone guesses I am pregnant.  I have no idea how.  It's like they have some sort of radar detector.  

    Confront your ex-best friend.  Ask her who told her.  Tell her to stop spreading rumors or you will destroy her.  Or, start a rumor that she is a former prostitute. <Sorry, it's the first thing that came to my mind with my hormones going wiggidy wack.>    

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  • steph620steph620

    That really sucks. I would talk to her and say,  I wish you would've confirmed it with me first. Also it's my news to tell, and I was looking forward to telling all those people when I was ready. Just make her feel super guilty.

    My only fear is that it will be leaked on FB. 

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  • Hbananas12Hbananas12
    Haha thank you! Even if it's too late to do anything about it, at least you made me laugh :D Thanks!
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  • dande2129dande2129 member

    This all sounds eerily like high school. "ex best friend", "rumors", trying to find out who started the rumor....

    If you have future children, just remember this for next time. I'm sorry they told news that wasn't their news to tell. 

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  • ALandrethALandreth member
    That really does suck and I am sorry that happened. If people start asking you or you hear it just tell them that you are talking about trying to start a family. And end it with that's all and it's my own business. Especially if it's people you wouldn't have shared the news with when you felt it was time for everyone else. I have a girl at my work who is suspicious of me and I never even gave her a reason, she kept digging and digging; finally I firmly told her there is nothing to tell her and when I do get pregnant I will tell everyone when I feel it is time do so. That got her off my back, I was 5 weeks pregnant and already knew but didn't want to tell EVERYONE. You probably won't be able to track down who did it, but you might reiterate to the friends you did tell and say you told them because you felt like they could keep a secret for you and just wanted to share the excitement with someone. 
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