Back to Work

Williamandshawnna · August 2012

Today was my first day back to work after our loss and after taking 6 weeks off. I managed to make it through the whole day without a total meltdown. That I can thank my boss for doing as I asked and having our team not call regarding the loss. When I called to follow up with several of them it was great to just go on about business.I did get teary eyed several times.

Trust me, I love talking about our boys, but working in and with the public without a private office to hide in, it was for the best. What I didn't expect was to have to make an unexpected call to someone I am professionally close with, when she answered her phone she said, so why haven't you sent pictures yet? I immediately teared up, and the words got stuck in my throat. I had to say, it's not a good thing that I am back so early, and she completely understood. She was so understanding and that I was thankful for. I knew I should have emailed her before I returned to work.

All together it was a good day as I just took a deep breath and took my time going through what I needed to do. It was tough mentally as I kept thinking, it was too soon to be back, I should be a beached wale sitting on a couch at almost 26weeks with triplets, getting ready for a baby shower. All day I felt like I was just going through the motions, like I was floating above myself watching everything happen. But I made it through and tomorrow is day 2.

ehlersm · August 2012

So proud of you - the first day is certainly the hardest! I totally get what you mean about feeling like you are floating above just watching everything happen. I still feel that way at times. I hope your second day goes well.

weddedwife · August 2012

I felt that "floating above myself" feeling for a long time. I'm glad you got through your day. Each day will be a new thing; just take it day by day.

sloannmark · August 2012

very proud of you. completely understand what you mean by floating above yourself watching. good luck on your second day.

jbranden12 · August 2012

glad you made it through! I understand about going through the motions. I felt robotic for a while. I could only answer direct questions, and conversations would just happen around me and I couldn't contribute anything. I also don't have a private office, but I occasionally made us of the restroom to cry in!

tuscanbride2007 · August 2012

I am so happy that you made it through your first day! I found it very hard to go back to a place where everyone knew me when I was pregnant (not just the local grocery store or restaurant). I have been back for 3 months now and I still have days where I hold back tears. But I also welcomed the support of the people and projects to immerse myself into.

laurendSept05 · August 2012

The first day is definately the hardest - so good for you for making it through! It is so difficult having to work and clean the house and do all the "normal" things again. I was on bedrest, so I kept thinking - I should be home right now and huge and uncomfortable with my feet up - I shouldn't be expected to do this or that. It does get better, just keep getting through each day.

cmenasco · August 2012

Glad day one went well!! I think I cried 3-4 times in the bathroom on my first day back! For some reason the second week was harder for me.....but I also didn't take much time off as I am a busy body and was going stir crazy at home. I hope Day 2 and the many more days to come are good for you!