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Babies on the Brain
New here and...
I've been reading some posts, just to sort of "get the lay of the land," and I discovered something.
Some people are mean. 
Maybe... more irritated sounding, or inconsiderate.
If someone is asking advice, especially of a personal nature, I'd expect people to be supportive or silent.
I've seen a lot of "Why are you asking us? We can't tell you to do XYZ. You need to talk to hubby about that instead of posting it on the internet hoping for some magic answer."
Obviously. But sometimes getting varied opinions, non-biased opinions, helps just as much in the decision making process.
This doesn't give me a good impression of wanting to stick around here...
End rant.... and hopeful its not a regular thing around here.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: New here and...
"I stammered, unable to form a coherent thought because I have a vagina."
Or someone coming up to you in line at the grocery store and asking, 'Am I pregnant?"
I'm pretty new here too and I have noticed the same thing. However, I think when you put yourself out there on an internet message board you have to be prepared for whatever comes out of people's mouths, even if it's mean.
With that being said, I am appalled by some of the things people say. I also get annoyed with what people post (I'm talking to you, person who asks a question that has a clear answer that can easily be googled) but choose to keep my mouth shut, hit the little red x, and move on.
This! I have learned a lot about stupid questions from the TTGP ladies.
San Diego
1 toddler and 1 on the way
work in special education
<a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Pregnancy"><img
Teeheehee, if you think the ladies here are "mean", come visit us on Parenting. We're not mean, we're honest with a touch of snark. And hilarious.
Also, if you don't like it, don't stay. Simple as that. No need to post about it.
Nobody is trying to be mean, but it's exactly this. We are strangers and can't make life choices for you or tell you things we have no way of knowing.
R&K married 4.15.11. TTC #1 since 7.11.12
BFP #1 9.9.12 EDD 5.21.13 c/p 9.12.12 at 4 weeks 1 day
BFP #2 10.15.12 EDD 6.28.13 c/p 10.19.12 at 4 weeks.
BFP #3 1.19.13 EDD 10.1.13 Eleanor born 10.7.13 at 40 weeks 6 days
13dpo hcg@32, progesterone@13.7, 15dpo hcg@110, 16dpo progesterone@25.9
My blog:Urban Times in Michigan ~ My Bfp Chart
I'm new here and I've also noticed this. And yes, maybe it could be defined as "honest with a touch of snark" but I don't think I've seen as much of the snark as any other message board I've been on (and yes, I've been on a lot of them). I've never seen another forum where a thread is started to attack someone else just because of a post she made in another board.
For that reason I mostly lurk, but when I do become pregnant and want to use the boards more to post it makes me nervous about the kind of reactions I'll get to my posts.
Really? You'd really have people leave the boards thinking everyone here is rude and/or mean instead of trying to be helpful?
I know the same questions over and over are annoying and that you can't always answer someone else's questions, but in those cases, wouldn't it just be better to stick with the old saying if you can't say anything nice, then don't say anything at all?
Come over to TTGP and read the same question over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over. And over. And over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again. Then twice more on Sunday and tell me you won't start making comments.
And then after you make the one comment, go back to the main board and see the same question 16 more times.
in all honestly, there is a lot of be said for a little common sense and Google!
Great advice isn't always "supportive", it's truthful.
It's all in how the reader takes the tone. She really wasn't being rude. If you don't like it here, don't stay here. If you don't like smokers, will you hang out with them? No. If you don't like the "tone" here as you take it, why stay? When people are saying they don't know, ask your H, or you aren't really sure when you O'd so you don't know you're late, they're not being rude. They're being truthful. How else do you say "ask your h"? "ask your snuggly wuggly hubby-poo!!! Starting a family is magical and something you should both wish more than sparkles itself!!!"? If you asked a person on the street if you were pregnant, *if* they were being nice, they wouldn't report you to the insane asylum and tell you to ask your doctor.
"I stammered, unable to form a coherent thought because I have a vagina."
Well at least you tried to lurk first. Most people don't bother with that.
Look, there are only so many ways to say "talk to your DH" and "we can't tell if you're KU." Those 2 are not snarky. "Hey idiot, how about you try being an adult and having a big kid conversation with your DH before you try procreating?" That's snark.
It's been a very long time since I've seen blatant rudeness and snark on this board. There are occasionally a few comments, but you make it sound like we purposefully run off everyone who dares to pose a question. The days of old BOTB are far gone and aren't likely to come back. The flames are not nearly as high or as hot these days. But we're not going to coddle you and tell you what you want to hear if it isn't logical or common sense.
As for you newb lurkers who are scared to post because of what people will say, get over it and post already. I was scared to post once, I got my flaming, and I moved on. If you want to belong here and actually get some meaningful advice and maybe even some friendships from this board, you have to post. Just do it.
As you mentioned, there are message boards on this site and other websites that may be better suited for you or other posters.
What I said was that if you don't like it, you don't have to stay. People will have their own opinions or interpretations of the posters here. Nothing I say will change their mind. As for me, I have found incredible information, support and humor from the ladies who post on TB.
I believe that honesty is nice, therefore I'll stick with it.
Oh my...
maybe you should lurk a bit more to find a board that's right for you. You know, rather than coming here and saying you don't like it.
Baby girl #1 7/11/13
Baby girl #2 4/30/15
Baby Boy Due 2/16/19!
hahaha
Baby girl #1 7/11/13
Baby girl #2 4/30/15
Baby Boy Due 2/16/19!
To the bold: Ha! That's funny. That's not going to happen, especially on an internet message board.
A lot of the people come to the internet with hopes that random strangers on the internet can tell them if they are ready, if they are pregnant, when will they be ready and how can they convince their husband or make their husband ready to have kids. We don't know. We are not psychic and we are not telepathic mind readers. We suck in that regard. The only people that can make that decision or figure that out is the person asking the question.
BOTB isn't as snarky as it once was, so I really don't see the problem. We're pretty much puppies, kittens and unicorn farts here.
A lot of the questions get asked over and over again. The ladies are allowed to throw in snark to liven it up a bit. We are supportive but people need to pull their weight and do their homework.We do give a lot of good advice. People refuse to take it and get mad because it does not reaffirm their "gut feeling" or justify their want. We're not your momma, your "biffle" or your diary. Seek those things from the appropriate places. We don't sugar coat things here. As others have said: "Honesty with a side of snark".
Sorry that this might not be the home for you. =/ Hope you can find a more suitable board for your needs.
HA! I actually just did this in my head when reading this post. Perfect pip, Shark.
Lol!
When the first response is about how "fun" this is going to be, that's exactly what I mean.
I've been part of numerous message boards before. I know what its like to see the same question over and over and over again. I also know that you don't have to answer, so its on you if you decide to answer in irritation.
And as far as the, "I can't tell you what to do" ... of course you can't! Most people post asking what others' experiences have been. Unless you've had tons of babies, this is a first for a lot of people. I can't tell someone what to do. I can only tell them what my personal experience has been. Or, like I said, not say anything at all.
And, I'm sorry, I didn't make a good impression because I was concerned whether people on this site were supportive or not? I fail to see how that makes a bad impression.
I can appreciate a little snark. (The popcorn bit, and even the "we don't need our message board fixed" made me smile a bit... tho I'm not trying to "fix" anything.). But if people think it is ok to be mean "to spice things up a bit", and when one responder even admits that she doesn't post things out of fear, then you all are right. This is not the place for me. I don't want to "suck it up," get my flaming cherry popped, and keep posting. Pregnancy and TTC is supposed to be a joyful, exciting, anticipatory time... not a time for flaming.
So go ahead. Have your fun. Be offended (though I'm sorry to anyone I offended). I'll move on.
Op, haven't you been on TK since 2007? 2007 was one of the highest points for snarky postings. It only died down after the forum switch the TK/ TB did in the recent past. What did you think of those boards?
I honestly hope you don't think this post is full of snark. If you do, the please by all mean google prior threads in regards to this matter of rude / mean posters and compare.
I'm a moderator on some forums ( high participation) and a member of tons, please go to any car forum and post a flame worthy post and see what happens. Most likely the nicest response you'll get is "use the search, n00b". At least we tell you why we can't help you. The ladies here are quite tame. I get more snark on the video game messaging boards than BOTB. And for the love of all things holy, never post on a site like 4chan.