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Parents "Unimpressed" With Pregnancy

dalziendalzien member
in 1st Trimester

My husband and I told our parents about our pregnancy, and while his family was incredibly happy mine were very "unimpressed". My husband and I were married last August. We live in a large 3 bedroom apartment a few provinces over, and have our own jobs. I have a job that allows me to work while I finish my degree at the university here in the city. I will be entering my final year in September, but now will be unable to complete this year as our due date is smack dab in the middle of my last semester. This puts my education (which I pay for myself, and do not have student loans for) off for at least a year.

While I am not terribly surprised by their reaction (my mother has always stated that we shouldn't think of children until I am in my 30's) I am very hurt.

I'm guessing others have been through this, but we just don't understand. We are self-sufficient, and do not rely on our families for anything. We have lived together for almost 4 years, and dated for 5 before we were married. I honestly don't know what to make of it. My parents have made what should be the most happy time of our life, and stained it with their discontent.

Any advice on how to handle this? Do they just need time? Please tell me it gets better. 

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Re: Parents "Unimpressed" With Pregnancy

  • purplepeanut6purplepeanut6 member
    so sorry your experiencing this! hopefully some time will make it better, once the LO is born Im sure your parents will be thrilled. 
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  • synchrosallysynchrosally member
    It will get better. My BFF's brother got his GF pregnant. They are both late 20s but neither has been able to keep a stable job and his family REALLY hates the GF. Despite all this, the family is very happy with their grandchild. It may have taken them the whole 9 months and then seeing the child to realize it really is a blessing. I hope your family comes around soon.
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  • Blang262Blang262
    I just told my parents yesterday, they also had a less than excited response. I think they will be more excited once they see the baby.
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  • HenHen25HenHen25 member
    My parents had a very similar reaction to DS. I had just finished law school and they expected me to practice for a few years first. But it was a 100% turn around once he was born. They love DS and are so happy he's around
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  • laurakaz13laurakaz13 member

    They're just worried about you.  I am sure they expected you to finish your degree first, and now have a fear that you'll never complete it. 

    I'm sure they'll be thrilled when LO gets here, and are just looking out for you.  Make sure you finish that last semester!  It will be worth it. 

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  • shandorfml2shandorfml2 member
    We are telling H's parents today, and I am expecting this reaction. We are self sufficent, both have graduated, married and have been together for 8 years. We are 27 and 29, so not young. They just want us to be more financially stable (i'm guessing) but once they get used to the idea I'm sure they will be fine...like your parents.

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  • Isobel+1Isobel+1

    So sorry they reacted like that  --

    I agree with what everyone else said about time improving things.  Just want to add that apparently some people, parents included, just have really inappropriate reactions to others' happy pregnancy news (my mom said "but you're so old!" to me (35)...), but to be in a place in your life that you are already so self-sufficient and financially stable is awesome, so congratulations on that as well as the pregnancy!! 

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  • lynn3yb00lynn3yb00

    My dad reacted similar to this-when I told him I was pregnant he asked if I wanted him to pay for my abortion. I didn't understand because my stepbrother lives at home, has no job, doesn't clean or even take care of his 3 kids, but my dad and stepmom have been thrilled everytime they found out he was gonna have a child. Oh, and all 3 kids have different moms who have all left and left him with the kids. The kids are 5 yrs, 4 yrs, and 2 yrs old.

    My dad needed time and has finally started coming around. I found this out because I asked him where he got the rocking chair my mom had when I was a baby (since I could talk it has been "my" rocking chair) and in me asking he volunteered to buy me one just like it "or build it" himself. I was speechless but thrilled that he was coming around.  

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  • 00jennifer0000jennifer00 member

    I'm sorry you guys have gotten such horrible reactions!  I don't have much grace for horrible parents (being raised by an abusive mother has left me quite jaded).  I hope that your parents all come to their senses and APOLOGIZE for their terrible behavior.

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  • dalziendalzien member

    My husbands parents are very excited, and I know my parents just want what is best, but when moments like these come along I think it's terrible that the first thing that I will about telling them is their reaction. 

    Thank you ladies, for all of your support.

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  • Charlotte02Charlotte02 member
    My dad with our first (after we told him) said "this is a good thing?" Yes Dad it is! "Oh Ok" he said. Now my DS is his best buddy in the whole wide world, they are inseparable! Have hope and give them time.

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  • Anne MommyAnne Mommy member

    When I told my parents about DS, they said "Well what does that mean?" They were very focal about their objections to the baby up until he was born. My mom even said I shouldn't call her when we went to the hospital, that they would come once the baby was born. When they saw him, it was love at first site. They held him, kissed him and have loved him every minute since.

    I think about it like this: If I had a daughter who came to me in a similar situation, what would be my first reaction (especially if I was surprised)? I know I would be shocked, but happy. They will get to the happy part.

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