To Doula or not to Doula....

tbone_bride · August 2012

This will be my 2nd baby. With my first, I tried to go natural but couldn't do it. This time around I am taking hypnobirthing classes and do NOT plan on an epidural (I had a bad experience with it last time). So...... I am thinking that a doula will really help keep me focused and stick with my plan. My DH will be there too, but I feel like someone with some real experience will be a bonus. Anyone have any recommendations one way or the other? I am leaning towards getting one, my only reservation is having a "stranger" share in such an intimate moment - BUT I have to remind myself that they are there to help, just like the nurses & docs.

Thanks ladies!

sbevmc09 · August 2012

I didn't have a doula last time and don't actually plan on having one this time either, but with that said, I don't think having a doula is ever a bad thing. They're only going to be there to help you and I figure the more support you have during labor, especially when attempting a NB, the better! I wouldn't look at a doula as a stranger (although I get what you're saying). I think if you interview some doulas and find one that you really click with it'll feel more like you have a close friend there than a stranger. If you're interested then I think I'd start looking around and see if there is anyone I click with. GL!

bikramgirl · August 2012

I am interviewing a doula next week. She is the second one I have considered. I have already clicked with her over the phone and feel that she is the right one for us. I was on the fence about a doula for the first few months but the closer I get to my due date the more relevant a doula seems. Although, she will be a stranger so are my doctors, honestly. It was easy to bond with them though and I already have cherry picked a few from my practice that I hope are in the delivery room. I feel the same way about this particular doula. I feel like she was cherry picked! Having a doula will help take the pressure off my husband as well as me if the need to make big decisions arise such as episiotomy, c-section, induction, etc. My doula will be there to give me information and education on the spot so that I can make the most informed decision for myself. She's my go to support person beyond my husband. It also helps that she has a good working relationship with my hospital and my practice too. Since I plan on a natural birth with minimal intervention, I feel like a doula is a right choice for us. Interview a few and see how you feel before jumping in and making a decision! Good luck!

mystrana · August 2012

My friend cannot say enough kind things about her doula. She said it was great having another support person and that the back massages and such were really helpful.

I personally won't be using one due to partially money issues and partially being unsure how to fine one that would "click" with me but I do think that if you interview the doula that is right for you, you won't feel like she's a stranger in the room.

aylafsu88 · August 2012

I had a doula for my natural birth. She was worth every penny we paid her. She gave me new energy during transition, helped me with positions, and talked me through my minor freak out when I was pushing because the pressure was so intense. She also keep DH calm and relaxed during labor and delivery. I think I could have done it without her but she really helped me have a relaxed and enjoyable labor.

pepomntpat · August 2012

I loved my doula. If you find the right one she won't be a stranger by the time you give birth. Maybe not your BFF, but definitely not a stranger.

Nechie122 · August 2012

My doula didn't feel like a "stranger" to me; she felt like a friend, someone on my side. The nurses and residents felt a lot more like strangers. You'll probably meet with your doula about 2-3 times before you deliver -- and talk A LOT -- and maybe e-mail weekly, or even daily, at the end. Toward the end, I felt like she was the only one I could talk to who really "got" it because she was the only person I knew who'd had a natural birth herself. Plus, she was a La Leche League member so she was my unofficial lactation consultant.

tokenhoser · August 2012

I loved my doula and will likely get her back for #2. She just helped make the experience so much more calm and confident for me. DH also wants her back for #2.

Actually, I ended up with the backup doula I'd only met once attending my birth, and I still wouldn't say she was a stranger. She was on MY team and her presence helped me a lot.

Celyn · August 2012

What pepomntpat said. If you find the right one, she'll fit right in. And you'll meet with her several times, so you'll get to know each other.

ashmin · August 2012

If you have the money and your husband is on board with it then I say why not?! I did not have one with my last birth and went natural (only because my epidural did not work). This time I am planning on going natural, now that I know I can do it. I wanted a doula, but DH talked me out of it. We are going to do a lot of studying and reading up ourselves about how he can support me during labor and learn techniques to reduce pain. It's a money thing for us mostly. We could have swung it, but my DH is cheap.

Temp76535187505890 · August 2012

I had a similar experience in which I wanted to go med-free with my first but caved to the epidural although my experience wasn't terrible, just not what I wanted. With my second I wanted to "stack the deck" in my favor to ensure I got the birth experience I wanted. I educated myself, took a birth education class geared toward natural birth and hired a doula. In the end, I didn't really need the doula but I still maintain that I would rather have one by my side and not need her than not have her there and need her.

zaramarie81 · August 2012

We just had our second meeting with our doula today, and I am beyond thrilled we are going this road. She specifically said she can not only help with positions, natural pain management etc but she can be that advocate that gets rid of the disturbing nurse or interfering family member as well as give my husband the support he needs.

I think, especially considering that you were unable to have the natural birth you wanted the first time, a supportive professional like a doula could be really key in overcoming some of the roadblocks you may have experienced before. I watched one of my sisters try to go natural without much support with her #1, and I really believe her labor and delivery would have been more satisfying had she had a doula present for that delivery (I'll spare you the details, but that l&d didn't go well).

Also, research shows that a doula's presence does decrease your need for interventions significantly... I am all about putting the odds in my favor! Regarding feeling comfortable... interview several doulas and find one you click with.

CurbsideProphet · August 2012

I think it would at least be worth it to meet with a few. I had a doula and both DH and I thought it was worth it.

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