For Tamb and other unapologetic formula feeders

erniebufflo · August 2012

I read this yesterday and loved it, from The New Republic: The Unapologetic Case for Formula Feeding.

dixee.deluxe · August 2012

I'm SO unapologetic about formula feeding that I don't even need to read that. LOL!

peanuthe · August 2012

Thanks. I appreciate this!

katieh1017 · August 2012

Thanks for sharing. Lol @ smug formula feeder.

Tambcat · August 2012

Thanks! I have definitely had the "smug formula-feeder" moment before. lol.

Switching to formula was a pretty tough decision, even though I had a pretty good idea before I ever got pregnant that breastfeeding wasn't for me. I still have moments of guilt. I wish it didn't have to be like that. I'm determined that next time, if there is a next time, I'm not going to put myself through everything I put myself through emotionally this time.

laurack · August 2012

Hmmm.

While I certainly don't agree with locking up formula at hospitals and forcing women to breastfeed if they don't want to, I don't agree with a lot of her points.

She is claiming that all the research saying breastmilk is best for baby is bunk, which seems ridiculous. Her argument about IQ points, yes that makes sense. But isn't it pretty widely known that the antibodies provided in breast milk, especially at first (in colostrum) are quite beneficial to babies?

I agree that pumping sucks and does not mesh well with a professional career (as I am finding upon returning to work!), however that doesn't mean somebody should just feed formula from the outset because of the return to work looming weeks/months down the line..

Also my husband has a wonderful bond with the baby, and does his fair share of the work that is for sure! Right now he SAH with her and gives her all her bottles all day.

And finally, the part about all the "complaining breastfeeding mothers" at lunch seems strange to me, as at my mothers group most of the complaints were regarding digestive issues while trying to find the right formula for the baby, due to various issues such as excessive spit up, constipation and gas.. I mean there were also as she said, one or two ladies with a baby who had a milk allergy but that would mean they'd need soy formula anyway right..

I have to say it's kind of a funny turn of events to read an article pushing formula feeding and to feel riled up and defensive about my own choice to breastfeed! Now that IS something you don't see every day, lol!

laurack · August 2012

Stilll though, I just can't get past this thing about locking up the formula and "forcing" women to breastfeed! I can't believe this is really happening! It is so ridiculous.

I mean, there is encouraging breastfeeding, providing information & support for those who chose to do so, providing LC for free at the hospital (if you ASK to see one,lol). And then there is going too far.

ninjabridemom · August 2012

laurack:
Hmmm.

While I certainly don't agree with locking up formula at hospitals and forcing women to breastfeed if they don't want to, I don't agree with a lot of her points.

She is claiming that all the research saying breastmilk is best for baby is bunk, which seems ridiculous. Her argument about IQ points, yes that makes sense. But isn't it pretty widely known that the antibodies provided in breast milk, especially at first (in colostrum) are quite beneficial to babies? I didn't read the article but very few people I know IRL who FF refute the benefits of breastfeeding. It's usually that the lifestyle benefits of FF outweigh the benefits of BF -- or they had supply or other issues. So that's a weird point to make.

I agree that pumping sucks and does not mesh well with a professional career (as I am finding upon returning to work!), however that doesn't mean somebody should just feed formula from the outset because of the return to work looming weeks/months down the line.. The issue is the corporate culture, not the BF'ing. Look at the countries that fully support BF'ing -- their women are able to have careers AND BF their families and the companies are successful. America's priorities, as a general culture, are skewed. ETA and I'm speaking only to this specific point. I FF too, I have to supplement, and I don't really GAF what other moms do

Also my husband has a wonderful bond with the baby, and does his fair share of the work that is for sure! Right now he SAH with her and gives her all her bottles all day. I can't speak to this b/c we supplement and Jake is home with them during the day T-Th so he bottle feeds them a lot. Even when I was BF'ing mostly exclusively he had to help me b/c of my pelvis issues, so he's been very involved.

And finally, the part about all the "complaining breastfeeding mothers" at lunch seems strange to me, as at my mothers group most of the complaints were regarding digestive issues while trying to find the right formula for the baby, due to various issues such as excessive spit up, constipation and gas.. I mean there were also as she said, one or two ladies with a baby who had a milk allergy but that would mean they'd need soy formula anyway right..I can't speak to this either but women/mothers/people complain about anything. Grass is greener and all that.

erniebufflo · August 2012

Laurack: the thing us formula feeders (if I can speak for the others) like about articles like this is: we literally never read stuff like this. *Even my can of formula says "breast is best" on it.* I'm over it. It's truly liberating to me, because of all the guilt that I believe is heaped on formula feeders in certain circles (mine being the intelligent upper middle class kind of crunchy liberal type of circle) is truly overwhelming. To be able to say "I formula feed and I'm not sorry" without having to also say "But I really wanted to!" or "But my supply was bad!" or "But I tried really hard!" or "But I have a doctor's excuse" is seriously seriously liberating.

Tambcat · August 2012

I feel embarrassed to tell people I formula feed.

ninjabridemom · August 2012

Does feeding really come up a lot?

Oh wait, yeah. I get a lot of "are you breastfeeding" even from strangers. That's a weird thing to me. I don't ask about people's boobs or baby feeding methods!!

Also (self realization here) I do always feel the need to qualify what is in their bottles in public (b/c I am too timid to NIP and it's also too much hassle w two). That's bullshiit! No more guilt or embarrassment, Tamb!

Tambcat · August 2012

ninjabridemom:

Does feeding really come up a lot?

Oh wait, yeah. I get a lot of "are you breastfeeding" even from strangers. That's a weird thing to me. I don't ask about people's boobs or baby feeding methods!!

Also (self realization here) I do always feel the need to qualify what is in their bottles in public (b/c I am too timid to NIP and it's also too much hassle w two). That's bullshiit! No more guilt or embarrassment, Tamb!

Yeah, people ask about it, and, I don't know, I feel like it also becomes relevant when I'm talking about other baby-related stuff. I give a quick "I FF" or "I don't breastfeed" and then keep talking about whatever and wonder if they are silently judging me.

And, like you, when I was pumping and would give her a bottle in public, I felt like I should wave it in the air and be like "IT'S BREASTMILK!!" lol. Especially when I fed her at the OB's office.

eta: more b/c of the people in the waiting room than the staff. Like J's pedi, my OB is very supportive of my choice and gives my happiness and comfort the value it deserves. I guess it helps that my OB's wife disliked breastfeeding too, and that the pedi's wife announced before they even ttc that she would not be breastfeeding. lol

MikeHoncho · August 2012

Tambcat:
I feel embarrassed to tell people I formula feed.

This is why I wrote what I did about MrsGreens sig in FFFC, it makes me feel judged or like she thinks less of FF'ers

dixee.deluxe · August 2012

Tambcat:
I feel embarrassed to tell people I formula feed.

I did too, with E.

But now with A, I don't care at all. Not even a tiny bit.

Musiclover2012 · August 2012

dixee.deluxe:

Tambcat:
I feel embarrassed to tell people I formula feed.

I did too, with E.

But now with A, I don't care at all. Not even a tiny bit.

I am 99% over it to be honest. It's no one's business anyway right? It is liberating.

ninjabridemom · August 2012

Green's sig is pretty hoity toity.

jacka02 · August 2012

I breast fed until about 10 weeks. Now i FF and i am really enjoying it. Its what works for us. I feel people judge me when i tell them I'm no longer breast feeding. One of my co workers asked how could i stop so soon. But she breast fed her kid until he was four so i probably shouldn't even count her.

Tambcat · August 2012

What does her sig say? I looked in the FFFC but couldn't find the post about it.

erniebufflo · August 2012

MikeHoncho:
Tambcat:
I feel embarrassed to tell people I formula feed.
This is why I wrote what I did about MrsGreens sig in FFFC, it makes me feel judged or like she thinks less of FF'ers

I haven't even attempted to read the FFFC, but I absolutely agree. That little icon totally made me feel judged. It comes off as smug.

MikeHoncho · August 2012

It says "I breastfeed because I don't produce enough formula"

I just said that I didn't want to call her out but just that it made me feel sh!tty and I'm sure that wasn't her intention and I should probably just put on some big girl panties but.. it's kinda passive aggressive in my opinion.

ninjabridemom · August 2012

Tambcat:
What does her sig say? I looked in the FFFC but couldn't find the post about it.

"I breastfeed because I don't make enough formula."

Insert largest eyeroll in the world right....................>here

Tambcat · August 2012

Oh. That is pretty assy. It also doesn't make a whole lot of sense. So she wanted to FF? lol (I get that it's sarcastic, but it's just dumb.)

MikeHoncho · August 2012

erniebufflo:
MikeHoncho:
Tambcat:
I feel embarrassed to tell people I formula feed.
This is why I wrote what I did about MrsGreens sig in FFFC, it makes me feel judged or like she thinks less of FF'ers
I haven't even attempted to read the FFFC, but I absolutely agree. That little icon totally made me feel judged. It comes off as smug.

I'm glad I'm not the only one, I had to re-read it like ten times to be sure that was what it really said. Breastfeeding is touchy for me, so I wasn't sure if I was just being overly sensitive.

Butterbrot · August 2012

MikeHoncho:
Tambcat:
I feel embarrassed to tell people I formula feed.
This is why I wrote what I did about MrsGreens sig in FFFC, it makes me feel judged or like she thinks less of FF'ers

if people ask shiz like that, tell them the baby is nacho-fed. seriously, where do people get the nads to ask a mother such a personal question?

Butterbrot · August 2012

MikeHoncho:
Tambcat:
I feel embarrassed to tell people I formula feed.
This is why I wrote what I did about MrsGreens sig in FFFC, it makes me feel judged or like she thinks less of FF'ers

double post

MikeHoncho · August 2012

Tambcat:
Oh. That is pretty assy. It also doesn't make a whole lot of sense. So she wanted to FF? lol (I get that it's sarcastic, but it's just dumb.)

Right?! That's why I had to re-read it so many times, I didn't understand. Then I remembered someone posted how they went to a baby shower (I believe) and a guest at the shower was saying she didn't understand why every woman didn't just FF because formula was just "dried up breast milk". Someone made the joke, "What are women just hooked up to pumps all the time making formula?!" So I kinda thought it was a joke based off of that post? But I haven't seen anyone else with that in their sig, so I think it's just a ner-ner FFing because you dont "produce enough" is BS kind of thing.

Which is lame

Did any of that make sense?! ha

Tambcat · August 2012

Butterbrot:
MikeHoncho:
Tambcat:
I feel embarrassed to tell people I formula feed.
This is why I wrote what I did about MrsGreens sig in FFFC, it makes me feel judged or like she thinks less of FF'ers
if people ask shiz like that, tell them the baby is nacho-fed. seriously, where do people get the nads to ask a mother such a personal question?

Lol. I really think most people ask it because they want to bond over how great it was or how difficult it was or whatever. But come on people, think before you ask me about my boob juice (or lack thereof)!

MikeHoncho · August 2012

Butterbrot:
MikeHoncho:
Tambcat:
I feel embarrassed to tell people I formula feed.
This is why I wrote what I did about MrsGreens sig in FFFC, it makes me feel judged or like she thinks less of FF'ers
double post

Because Breast is Best, DUH! The guy at the grocery store obviously thinks that I had no clue that you could breastfeed!

I was wondering why my boobs were crying..

Moneypenny424 · August 2012

erniebufflo:
Laurack: the thing us formula feeders (if I can speak for the others) like about articles like this is: we literally never read stuff like this. *Even my can of formula says "breast is best" on it.* I'm over it. It's truly liberating to me, because of all the guilt that I believe is heaped on formula feeders in certain circles (mine being the intelligent upper middle class kind of crunchy liberal type of circle) is truly overwhelming. To be able to say "I formula feed and I'm not sorry" without having to also say "But I really wanted to!" or "But my supply was bad!" or "But I tried really hard!" or "But I have a doctor's excuse" is seriously seriously liberating.

I totally agree. These are my circles as well. While my close friends know what I went through with BFing and why I had to stop, others don't and I am sure I will be judged by them. I want to get to that point of liberation!

Tambcat · August 2012

lol @ formula is just dried up breastmilk! I missed that post. Well, I guess it is dried up cow breast milk... sort of. Unless it's soy.

bellablue2 · August 2012

dixee.deluxe:
I'm SO unapologetic about formula feeding that I don't even need to read that. LOL!

This.. Totally!

jessandandy09 · August 2012

Ladies, I thought the "I dont produce enough formula" badge was cute. I cant speak on her behalf, but she has every right to be proud that she is bfing and to make an adorable badge. I think maybe juding it is feeling a little over sensitive. I bf and ff. oh and I "make" both cuz I dont lactate well enough and that formula doesnt just make itself into a bottle. I mix and heat that shiz up. Big Smile

Tambcat · August 2012

jessandandy09:
Ladies, I thought the "I dont produce enough formula" badge was cute. I cant speak on her behalf, but she has every right to be proud that she is bfing and to make an adorable badge. I think maybe juding it is feeling a little over sensitive. I bf and ff. oh and I "make" both cuz I dont lactate well enough and that formula doesnt just make itself into a bottle. I mix and heat that shiz up.

Really? It's a direct turn-around of people saying they formula feed because they don't produce enough breastmilk. That goes beyond being proud of breastfeeding. Many of those women wish they didn't have to supplement.

erniebufflo · August 2012

jessandandy09:
Ladies, I thought the "I dont produce enough formula" badge was cute. I cant speak on her behalf, but she has every right to be proud that she is bfing and to make an adorable badge. I think maybe juding it is feeling a little over sensitive. I bf and ff. oh and I "make" both cuz I dont lactate well enough and that formula doesnt just make itself into a bottle. I mix and heat that shiz up.

Yeah, no one is saying she should be banned from having it. What we are saying is that a joke that relies on people saying "I didn't produce enough breastmilk" to be funny is hurtful. If folks are free to be all BF and proud, we're free to express how that can sometimes be hurtful.

rebeccajmiller1 · August 2012

I love this article and I love this thread. It makes me feel so good to be surrounded by people who are giving the judginess a huge middle finger. It's things like this that convinced me to come out of lurking (that and it kind of made me feel like a peeping tom...) Ok, I'm done with the puppies and formula rainbows now

laurack · August 2012

I think it's sad that people who can't or choose not to breastfeed have to feel bad about it, while I EBF and enjoy it (for now) I don't judge those who don't anymore or never were able to. I don't see why strangers feel they have the right to ask you whether or not you have a baby sucking on your BOOB 7-8 times a day or not. And then to judge you whatever way you might answer (because there is judgement/opinions either way it seems.)

While I don't agree with the article and find her arguments thin and poorly researched, I do see why it would be a good thing to read for those who FF and who hear nothing but "breast is best" all day long.

Even at my Mothers group, there was a huge sign on the wall saying "babies were born to be breastfed". Though I do bf, I don't agree with stuff like that, half the group were FFing at least to some degree, so why have a giant sign trying to make them feel bad about it?

And I don't agree with siggies being all "breast is best" or whatever either. Isn't it enough to post in your siggy that you EBF if you feel proud of that, without also trying to make those who DON'T feel bad about it? just seems a bit weird to me. Why do other people care so much how I feed my baby? It's an individual choice and every family and situation is different.

Mamasaurus · August 2012

Eh, I don't like the paragraph complaining about the women who don't bash formula feeding but still want to BF. What's wrong with that?The last line says a lot:

I had become a smug formula-feeding mama.

I don't see why anyone has to be smug about how they feed their kids. BF, formula, magical unicorn juice, whatever.

FWIW, one of my top reasons for continuing to bf is simply that most of the time, I enjoy it. I agree that locking up formula is stupid, but I don't like her attitude about BFing moms either. I like it! So sue me.

erniebufflo · August 2012

Mamasaurus:
Eh, I don't like the paragraph complaining about the women who don't bash formula feeding but still want to BF. What's wrong with that?The last line says a lot:
I had become a smug formula-feeding mama.
I don't see why anyone has to be smug about how they feed their kids. BF, formula, magical unicorn juice, whatever.
FWIW, one of my top reasons for continuing to bf is simply that most of the time, I enjoy it. I agree that locking up formula is stupid, but I don't like her attitude about BFing moms either. I like it! So sue me.

I think the piece is definitely more of a polemic and a reaction to a lot of "breast is best" rhetoric than anything. I took the "smug" thing as kind of a joke, but I can see how it would come off wrong. And you go on with your bad BFing self! I'm glad it's working out for you.

laurack · August 2012

Where can I buy the magical unicorn juice? I want

Tambcat · August 2012

It's kind of nice to get to feel "smug" about the way I feed my child once in awhile. I feel like it's a luxury that BFers come by easily.

snoangel79 · August 2012

I'm sick of being asked by randoms if I breast feed my twins and have to go through a whole story of I did for 7 weeks, my supply was sh*t because of a cancer hx, I tried, I really tried.... Why the F do I have to explain this constantly, it sucks >: I'm so over it... My kids are growing. They are happy. I am a good mom. I use formula, plastic diapers, and sometimes co-sleep, ohh and I use paci's too. FTW!! hahaha

Want a personalized experience?

For Tamb and other unapologetic formula feeders

Re: For Tamb and other unapologetic formula feeders

Choose Another Board

Search Boards