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2nd Baby Shower - At a restaurant at night

SoxFan777SoxFan777 member
in Baby Showers

Question... I'm attending a baby shower that's small (10-15 people) and being held at a restaurant.  It's for the 2nd baby (other baby is 3 and of the same gender). 

1) Ideas for present?

2) Who pays? 

 

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Re: 2nd Baby Shower - At a restaurant at night

  • sowingseasonssowingseasons
    I never went to a shower at a restaurant. Every other party thrown at one I've always paid for myself (well  unless it was family. My family always pays for guests). As for a gift idea, was this a planned pregnancy? If it was planned I would assume they kept some things from the first child. So I would then buy some necessities like diapers, wipes and perhaps a grooming kit and a small toy. If it was unplanned they possibly are starting with nothing. In that case I would ask if they are registered somewhere. I hate buying things not needed.
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  • rhubarb123rhubarb123 member

    I agree with the other pp.  Is there a hostess listed?  If so, I'd give her a call to find out what the MTB needs.  You can inquire about cost as well.  I've gone to a couple of showers at restaurants and the hostess(s) paid for everything.  I did go to a "get-together" (work people) and dessert/coffee/tea/non-alcoholic beverages were paid for but if we wanted food or alcohol we were on our own.  It was a 4 pm though and not a meal time.  Plus it was not called a shower even though everyone brought a gift.  For that one I think all the gifts were diapers, wipes, clothes, books, etc. 

    If the other child is very young the mom might be able to use another monitor. 

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  • bklynbmpbklynbmp

    Every shower Ive been to has been at a restaurant.  If you were invited with a paper invitation, I think its safe to assume the host will pay.

    If its more like a causal get together with friends type of thing - maybe its just taking your friend out for dinner. 

    Assuming this is a good friend of yours, I would get the same kind of gift I would get for a first baby.

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  • Liz4444Liz4444 member
    The hostess should always pay.  As for a gift, get your friend whatever you would have gotten her if you went to her house after the baby was born and brought a gift.
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  • MelleTXMelleTX member

    How were you invited? If you received a paper invitation in the mail and they called it a shower, then the hosts should pay. 

    If you got an evite or an email saying "Let's meet at Charlie's at 7:00 to celebrate John and Jane's new baby" then it sounds like a dinner get together in which everyone pays their own way. 

    The gift you bring shouldn't be contingent on one or the other above. You can easily search Target or BRU to see if they have a registry. If not, I would get diapers, wipes, maybe an outfit in bigger sizes. 

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  • RoxyLynnRoxyLynn member
    Generally the hostess pays.  But since etiquette is already out the window with this being a shower for a second-time Mom, I guess I'd bring some cash just in case.
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  • dufferoodufferoo member
    It sounds like you are calling out this shower for being crass (which it very well may be), in which case I just wouldn't bother going. If you want to go, though, just get a gift for your friend that you think she will enjoy and bring some cash just in case.
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  • Cynthia1207Cynthia1207 member
    I've been to many showers where a cover fee is charged and in there, your meal and a gift are included.  Not sure about a restaurant though.  I'd definitely bring cash with you.  As for the gift, if she doesn't have a registry, I'd agree with diapers, wipes or clothes.
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  • Ivana_StolichnayaIvana_Stolichnaya member

    imageEstwd2:
    My family always throws showers at restaurants. The hostess should be paying. Asking guests to pay for their meal is the height of tackiness. However, given some of the posts I've seen on here, you might want to bring some cash just in case. For a 2nd baby, I'd get something small - an outfit, some books, etc.

     

    I went to a shower at a restaurant and the host actually went around with a guest list and checked off who had paid for their lunch which was off a fixed menu with no prices listed.  $26 from each person.  Completely ridiculous, especially since it wasn't listed on the invite that we were expected to shell out for our meal.  I ordered a Chinese chicken salad, an iced tea and had a couple finger size desserts....$26?  I was floored.

    If you're going to charge guests, let them know ahead of time so people like myself aren't caught off-guard with no cash on hand.  I would have skipped the shower all-together if I would have known that I was expected to pay $26 for a f-ing salad.

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  • Liz4444Liz4444 member

    imageCynthia1207:
    I've been to many showers where a cover fee is charged and in there, your meal and a gift are included.  Not sure about a restaurant though.  I'd definitely bring cash with you.  As for the gift, if she doesn't have a registry, I'd agree with diapers, wipes or clothes.

    A cover fee for your meal and gift?  That's horrific.

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  • PrimRoseMamaPrimRoseMama member

    My sister flew in from out of state to throw my shower when I was pregnant with DD. we had it at a restaurant & at brunch time. My SIL paid for coffee/tea, fruit trays, croissant trays, mini quiches & other fixings to feed the guests. All the gifts were the same as you would see at a normal home-hosted shower.

    Ask the host when you RSVP where the MTB is registered. 


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