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How do I make the crying stop?

HeidiO22HeidiO22 member
in Pre-School and Daycare

It has been over a month and my daughter is still crying when I drop her off at daycare.  I know she's having a blast during the day and is well cared for while she is there.  However, the moment we get within eyeshot of the daycare center she starts balling her eyes out.  For the first two years, my SIL watched her and my DD was extremely catered to.  I knew transitioning to a daycare environment would be challenging but I didn't think that after a month she'd still be crying every morning.  Help!

 Please tell me she will stop eventually.

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Re: How do I make the crying stop?

  • KathrynMDKathrynMD member

    how are you reacting to her crying?

    I tend to just talk about things in advance - and with this, I'd talk it up big time as soon as you get up in the morning - oh, boy, school today, yay!  I'll bet you play ____ and you can _____, do you think you'll play with _____ or _____ first?  etc, etc. and then if/when she starts the crying, acknowledge it and say I'm sorry you're upset, but you'll have fun doing ___ when you're there.

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  • jenn_darrin1515jenn_darrin1515 member
    imageKathrynMD:

    how are you reacting to her crying?

    I tend to just talk about things in advance - and with this, I'd talk it up big time as soon as you get up in the morning - oh, boy, school today, yay!  I'll bet you play ____ and you can _____, do you think you'll play with _____ or _____ first?  etc, etc. and then if/when she starts the crying, acknowledge it and say I'm sorry you're upset, but you'll have fun doing ___ when you're there.

    this is pretty much what we do...and it took my girls two months to fully transition so there were no longer tears at drop off (this week actually!) she will get there!

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  • Littlejen22Littlejen22 member
    imagejenn_darrin1515:
    imageKathrynMD:

    how are you reacting to her crying?

    I tend to just talk about things in advance - and with this, I'd talk it up big time as soon as you get up in the morning - oh, boy, school today, yay!  I'll bet you play ____ and you can _____, do you think you'll play with _____ or _____ first?  etc, etc. and then if/when she starts the crying, acknowledge it and say I'm sorry you're upset, but you'll have fun doing ___ when you're there.

    this is pretty much what we do...and it took my girls two months to fully transition so there were no longer tears at drop off (this week actually!) she will get there!

    I am not saying this is wrong because I know it works for many but this will always back-fire with my DS. I wish I had answers, it was on and off crying the first few months for DS and I expect the same from DD.  

    Jen - Mom to two December 12 babies Nathaniel 12/12/06 and Addison 12/12/08
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  • HeidiO22HeidiO22 member

    When she begins to cry, I remind her of all the fun activities she'll be doing.  Basically, giving her a pep talk to get her to relax. It doesn't help. 

    At home getting ready, she's excited to go to school like her big sisters.  She's quick to get dressed and head out the door but, like I said, once she sees the daycare, it's over. <sigh>

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  • kmhunt11kmhunt11 member
    How long are you hanging around? In general, the quicker you leave the quicker she will get over it. Not always the case, but usually once you're gone kiddo will stop. Good luck!
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  • jlw2505jlw2505 member
    I would have the same routine at every drop off and make it fast.  On the way to school, talk about all the great things she will be doing that day and always make sure to reassure her that you will be there to get her and let her know a general idea of when (I will come pick you up after afternoon snack when you are playing outside, etc).  When you get to daycare, drop off her stuff, give her a big hug and kiss, tell her you will see you this afternoon and then have one of the teachers take her from you and go.  Do not stay and try and comfort her or anything like that.  With my younger DD who has always had a harder time with drop off some of the things that helped were having her hang out with the Asst Dir who she loved, as an infant and toddler, she loved one of the centers stuffed animals so the teachers always had it ready and waiting for me to give it to her when I dropped it off (we had a special place for it to sit and wait for her and it moved from the infant room up 3 rooms with her!), the teachers take her to a window where she can wave to me.  When my DH drops her off, he always does a funny upside down hug with her and then hands her to the teacher upside down.  She is now 4 1/2 and most mornings, does really well at drop off but we still do the fast good byes and always do things the same and I still end up giving her a big hug and then handing her to one of her teachers for a fast hug from them while I leave.
    Jenni Mom to DD#1 - 6-16-06 DD#2 - 3-13-08 
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