How do you handle the sleep deprivation?

michelle615 · August 2012

I'm a FTM. I had heard it would be hard, but I don't think I ever imagined how little sleep I would really get. My beautiful son is almost 7 weeks old, so he's still not sleeping through the night. We formula feed and my SO helps out as much as he can, getting up on weekends and sometimes one other night during the week. But getting that extra sleep then still doesn't always seem to help me. How much sleep is anyone else getting and how are you handling it? I generally get at about 4 hours, sometimes 5-6 but I only got about 3 hours of broken sleep last night. And now my DS won't take a nap for me unless he's laying on me. It's hard to function sometimes!

acbfreire · August 2012

My LO is also in a fussy/ awake phase, so I am not getting a lot of sleep. Maybe 4-6 interrupted hours at night and she is fighting her naps. Before she had a few wonderful long night stretches, so I am assuming this shall pass.

I am not sure how I am still functioning, but I get overly tired and emotional.

michelle615 · August 2012

acbfreire:

My LO is also in a fussy/ awake phase, so I am not getting a lot of sleep. Maybe 4-6 interrupted hours at night and she is fighting her naps. Before she had a few wonderful long night stretches, so I am assuming this shall pass.

I am not sure how I am still functioning, but I get overly tired and emotional.

This sounds like my LO. He was sleeping fairly well at night and napping somewhat during the day. Then suddenly not so much, including naps.

ELF4321 · August 2012

I have never been someone who can sleep during the day and I have always had difficulty getting back to sleep when I get woken up during the night, so even when DD falls back asleep quickly after a feeding, it often takes me an hour or more to get back to sleep. I haven't gotten more than 4-5 interrupted hours of sleep since DD was born. I am overly emotional, get angry and yell at DH all the time, and pretty much look like a total mess all the time. I don't see it getting any better until DD sleeps in longer stretches at night. Sorry I can't offer any help, just know you aren't the only one.

giraffe54 · August 2012

theresat858:
Why are you getting so little sleep? Babies should be sleeping at least 14 hours a day...I know everyone says it, but I'll repeat it - sleep when the baby sleeps!
You might be able to get longer stretches of sleep from the baby if you aren't already doing these things: Swaddle (even if LO fights it). Use white noise (loud, the volume of a vacuum cleaner) -- unless LO is in your room and you can't sleep with the noise :-) - we just have a fan, and use the louder white noise for naps. Use a swing on high if necessary to get longer stretches of sleep. Allow LO to sleep on an incline (swing, rock n play, etc) if that will give longer stretches (DD never sleeps long in her crib). Re introducing the swaddle got us from 4 hours stretches to 6 hour stretches at 7w.
Keep it very dark during the night so LO doesn't wake up too much for feedings. DD eats and is back down within 15 minutes (might be longer for a bottle fed baby but shouldn't be too much longer than 20 or 30). Don't change the diaper in the middle of the night unless there is a poop, b/c that will wake them up more.
I haven't been sleep deprived since the first 2 weeks. I take naps during the day when DD takes her longer naps, but I haven't even needed to do that in a few weeks. I only get up twice a night and I'm back to sleep quickly.

I've heard that adage too, and to be frank, it makes me crazy. Not all babies are the same. My LO sleeps fine at night in her crib - same amount as OP's but I figure that's better than waking every 2 hours. However, she only naps in my arms or if I'm pushing her in the stroller or driving. Otherwise I get max 10 minutes of hands free napping, and I need to use that time to do laundry/dishes,etc. You're lucky to not be sleep deprived but that doesn't mean the OP is doing anything wrong because she is. I'm not saying you're suggesting that to be the case but it could be interpreted that way

OP - the PP is right about trying everything you can to get her to sleep a little bit more. Experiment as much as you can. But, I think the bigger trick is to just mentally and emotionally accept that this is the way it is. Anyone who's experienced chronic insomnia before will tell you that worrying about sleep and becoming fixated on it will make everything a hundred times worse. Drink lots of coffee, get light exercise if you can - nothing intense, just walks or jogs, some yoga to help maximize the quality of sleep you do get. When you are awake in the middle of the night with your LO, read a trashy book or watch a guilty pleasure tv show to distract you from the fact you are exhausted and dreading having to be 'awake' in a couple hours. Finally, let yourself be lazy in the day. If all you have energy for is to feed & change your baby while sitting around watching tv for hours, then so be it!

Best of luck!

Ivana_Stolichnaya · August 2012

Coffee.

michelle7482 · August 2012

Coffee and knowing it does get better! I think around 10 weeks for my LO she started sleeping 6-8 hr stretches, I did not handle the sleep deprivation well at all, it is extremely hard but trust me it does it get better. GL!

JustHyr · August 2012

ELF4321:
I have never been someone who can sleep during the day and I have always had difficulty getting back to sleep when I get woken up during the night, so even when DD falls back asleep quickly after a feeding, it often takes me an hour or more to get back to sleep. I haven't gotten more than 4-5 interrupted hours of sleep since DD was born. I am overly emotional, get angry and yell at DH all the time, and pretty much look like a total mess all the time. I don't see it getting any better until DD sleeps in longer stretches at night. Sorry I can't offer any help, just know you aren't the only one.

THIS. 100x THIS.

acbfreire · August 2012

My LO is EBF, she only takes one bottle a day, so this does not quite work b/c I need to pump when she has it.

rebecca4980 · August 2012

Do you do a bed routine at night? Some people will tell you "its too early!, he's only x amount of weeks old!" but I swear, I had the same problem with DS not wanting to be put down for bed at night-we swaddled and that helped but he was waking up constantly. I introduced the bath/swaddle/book at about 8:30/9pm and he sleeps until 1 or 2am now. The lavender lotion works for me! I also put him down while he is still awake but sleepy. He fusses for about 10 minutes and then usually goes to sleep. I don't think I am counting on LO to "sleep through the night" until he is older, so I take what I can get. I have friends who said their LOs didn't do 7-8 hours until they were 3-4 months old. I'm sure there are some that sleep that way before, and some that take extra time. Hopefully yours will adjust and begin sleeping more at night soon!

It might be helpful to invest in a carrier if you don't have one for the daytime naps. The K-tan was a bit hard for me to adjust to (it felt like he was going to slip right out of it sometimes) but it allows me to do stuff mostly hands free. Won't help with your naps, but it might help with his.

Good luck!

egsulaiman · August 2012

although LO only wakes up once at night, the sleep deprivation did get to me in the beginning, but now I feel like I've just gotten used to the new sleeping pattern. I find myself waking up before she does most of the times, which is why I think I'm getting used to it. Most days I dont sleep when she takes naps, because I still have things to do around the house... I couldnt imagine just letting everything go. But there are days when I take a nap as well.

laurenhankey · August 2012

I'm going through the same thing and am tired of the ole "sleep when baby sleeps" BS...it's not that easy! I do try to sleep when she does, however, sometimes she sleeps ON me and then I prefer to stay awake. When I move her she wakes up and then we're starting the whole process over again. My best suggestion is trial and error. Everyday I try something different and if it works then I'll stay w/ that until it doesn't work anymore. Today, for instance, I figured out that if I feed, burp and immediately put LO in her swing or bouncy chair thing then she goes right to sleep and naps for 2-3 hrs. I don't know how long this will work but it worked today! Also, at night I will put her down and my DH will stay up w/ her til he goes to bed if she wakes up. This way I get some SOLID sleep and not sleeping w/ one ear open listening to the monitor. It may only be 1-2 hrs but its a better quality of sleep. Since I am off work right now I get up w/ her in the middle of the night. I keep the room as dark as possible, give her a bottle and put her back down. I try to stay up for about 15 min after I put her down just to make sure she is asleep or trying to sleep. It also took me awhile to realize that babies make A LOT of noise in their sleep. So if she's grunting or what not don't run in there and tend to her. Let her soothe herself and she will calm down. As long as she's there w/ her eyes closed then you're good to go. If she's wide awake or crying then you need to soothe her and put her back down. We also use the lavendar bath stuff which is AMAZING! Good luck! Hope this helps!

angelfire02 · August 2012

I also haven't ever been able to sleep when they sleep, although I could kill my husband some times because he can drift off whenever and he is the one that is sleeping all night long! I didn't get more than 4 hours a night interrupted until the babies were 9 weeks old. Then all of a sudden one night they went from sleeping 6 hours to sleeping 9. It's soooo hard in the beginning and until they are consistantly sleeping more at night but it will get better!!! Hang in there girl you are doing all that you can!

conchik77 · August 2012

Read the baby whisperer! You don't have to follow it exactly, but it will give you a good start on a routine to follow And you will end up sleeping more and more! Also happiest baby on the block video!

michelle615 · August 2012

Thanks so much for the support and the suggestions! It's nice to hear from other moms who are going through it or who have been through it!

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