I think you need some controversy.

pookie2005 · July 2012

I don't find it odd. We have found out the hard way it's not wise to be proud about accepting help. We have suffered lay-offs and extreme drops in income the past few years and my mom and IL's have both helped us out. That's what family should do. If you have it to give, you should be generous. They will never take any of it back, it's not their style. We would never have survived without their help and I don't feel ashamed about that...*** happens. When dd is older, we will help her when she needs it as well. Just because your kid is grown, doesn't mean you stop caring about their troubles. I don't condone mooching by any means but accepting help when it is truly needed is nothing to be ashamed of.

pookie2005 · July 2012

amys325:
My 96 year old grandmother still gives my dad money. My dad does not need the money at all, but she insists that he take it. When she tries to give you money, you take the money and say thank you and that you love her.
That's just how our family works.
Parents give to their children until there is nothing left.

This.

Manateearmz · July 2012

sofamonkey:
cruelsound:

Wait. Time out. I have a question.

Does KC ALWAYS miss the points that people make, or is she just extra special in this thread?
NO TIME OUTS!!!! They are cruel & emotionally abusive!!!

Only punitive time outs, you guise! The forceful kind where you put a kid somewhere for a predetermined amount of time. NOT the same as asking a kid to sit in a chair for a certain amount of time to chill out.

Isnt that clear as mud? **eyeroll**

wife1014 · July 2012

sofamonkey:
I fart in your general direction.

I just snissed!

wife1014 · July 2012

I didn't read after sofa's first comment. But I need to know if you, KC, are LCBitch reincarnated. You seriously suck as much as she did.

When the kids go to bed, I will head on back to read the rest of this.

violaplayer · July 2012

It's roughly $3,000 per six-month term at Western Governors University. Currently. They have limited academic programs available though.

Anyways, Jeebus KC, why do you care so much what anyone else does? If a parent is generous enough or silly enough to give money, why is that a problem for you? Did your mommy not love you enough as a child?

J+MS · July 2012

Community college here is $1000 here for 12 hours, not including books. So it would be around $8000 for a bachelors.

[Deleted User] · July 2012

The user and all related content has been deleted.

pinkiemo · July 2012

write2nicole:
Mrs.adambabycakes:
amys325:

My 96 year old grandmother still gives my dad money. My dad does not need the money at all, but she insists that he take it. When she tries to give you money, you take the money and say thank you and that you love her.

That's just how our family works.

Parents give to their children until there is nothing left.

Your last sentance made me a little teary. Just a little.

It also just made sense of The Giving Tree. I always thought it was a pretty dysfunctional relationship, but now I see it's about a mother's love.

I hate that book. It's super dysfunctional. If my mom was giving me all her apples I'd at least say thanks and hang out with her for a bit.

pinkiemo · July 2012

HilarityEnsued:

So just to bust into this thread waayyy late because thank Jesus Harold Christ the Little Munch is finally asleep... my thoughts-

- If parents are willing to help or want to help, I wouldn't turn them down. My DH and I were able to buy a nice house and I have a car to drive all because of my parents. I pay them back monthly and will continue until the debt is gone.

- I'd NEVER refuse an offer to have my parents or my ILs contribute money to my child's education.

- KC... you're being incredibly sanctimonious without any grounds. You have said yourself that your parents aren't in the place to give you money.... but then you are preachy about how you wouldn't take it anyway... that's total bullshizzzz

The largest load of bullshizz in this entire thread is the assertion that you only paid $2,000 for college... And then you say you are aging yourself. Unless you went to college in 1940, there isn't a damn institution of higher learning in the country, state, private, whatever, that costs only $2,000/year.

I don't give half a rats asssses if other people get money from their parents...

BOOM- Hilarity was here...

Yes

Awesome

fancynewbeesly · July 2012

Both my parents and DH Mom is super generous. We never ask or expect anything, but they would be incredibly insulted if we didn't take the money. My grandparents were also like that--my 92 year old grandma insisted on paying for Reese's nursery room furniture.

My grandfather passed away when I was five. I was the third grandchild born. He believed that education was everything--and for the three grandchildren he would write a sizable check for our college funds on our birthday since we were born. When he passed away, my grandma followed that tradition with my two cousins, myself and my brother. Those checks stopped when we were 21. All four of us graduated college--and are incredibly thankful for our grandparents generosity. My parents have continued this tradition with my daughter (their only grandchild so far).

wife1014 · July 2012

First, I can't imagine where you went to school for 2k/year.

Second, I am willing to bet if your parents were "rich" you would be more than happy taking hand-outs from them.

Third, people like you need to be put in a hard place to understand how people deal with unfortunate times.

Fourth, I can only hope the State of RI isn't so small that I actually don't know you IRL. You are such a jerk.

And lastly, why do you give a rats asss what others do with their money?

Mama_SAS · July 2012

You know that you can give a tax-free gift of up to a certain amount (let's say $10K) to someone once a year?

So, hypothetically, my parents could hand me $20K tax-free every single year ($10K from each), and they could hand DH $20K tax-free every single year. However, if we wait to inherit that same money the estate taxes would be astronomical on that amount of money, especially compared to possible interest earned over the same amount of time!

Now I'm absolutely not saying that that's happening (because how sweet would that be?) but if someone were to do that for their kids I couldn't criticize that kind of sound financial planning. An adult child would be an idiot to turn that down.

Wufroggy79 · July 2012

So we still haven't learned to ignore her?

FezzesAreCool · July 2012

It was either this or watch my kids.

I chose this.

MoonlitPlumeria · July 2012

judahsmommy1:
I've lived both ways and I prefer this one 100%! We were never meant to do life on our own and the ability to be generous and receive generosity from others is one of the things that makes life so great. That's pretty much the end of it for me!

That right there sums us up. We took help from my dad when we needed it, but paid him back. And we've helped my husband's siblings in turn. Family is there for each other!

cg0112358 · July 2012

k.linn:
DH and I have taken sizable loans from my parents for a mortgage and a land purchase. I don't feel bad about it at all. In fact, we are paying interest on it, and it's a win-win for us all: it's a lower interest rate than a traditional mortgage for us, and a higher interest rate than they would get on that money sitting in the bank. I don't think that makes us loafers or leeches. And they've gifted us with generous things too. Again, I don't feel bad. It's their money to do what they wish. It would be different if they couldn't afford it, but they can.

This is awesome, it's a win-win situation for everyone

kcisthebombdotcom · July 2012

wife1014:

First, I can't imagine where you went to school for 2k/year.

Second, I am willing to bet if your parents were "rich" you would be more than happy taking hand-outs from them.

Third, people like you need to be put in a hard place to understand how people deal with unfortunate times.

Fourth, I can only hope the State of RI isn't so small that I actually don't know you IRL. You are such a jerk.

And lastly, why do you give a rats asss what others do with their money?

First, I went to a state school. The tuition rates in 2000 were a whole lot different than 2012. Go to this site, take a peek at in-state school tuition rates from that point in time then tell me I'm lying. https://www.sreb.org/page/1357/data_library_higher_ed_tuition__fees.html

It was a typo though. It should have been $3,000, not $2,000. LOL. Still, very cheap all things considered.

Second, I would not take money off my parents no matter what. It was just not the way we were raised. My grandparents had a lot of kids, but my grandfather worked as an engineer for the state so made a good living, and my grandparents are living very comfortably in retirement. He does not give financial help to any of his kids just because he wanted them to work for everything they have. No living outside your means and buying things you couldn't really afford because your parents buy it for you. Of course they provide help when their children hit tough times but it's to be paid back. Every one of their children has a good career-- the family is full of engineers and accountants, so clearly they did ok and that model works on some level. Smile I believe in it--and to answer the question that was posed a few times about children with multi-million dollar trust funds I would hope that before bestowing their children with large sums of money they make them wait until 30+ so they have the opportunity to create a strong work ethic, further their education and establish a career separate from their family's identity. Statistically, most people who receive inherited wealth don't pass it on to the next generation (source https://library.generousgiving.org/page.asp?sec=4&page=340 ) because they don't learn how to be financially responsible and that's unfortunate.

Third, I didn't say that if I hit unfortunate times I wouldn't accept help from family. I would. I would never judge anyone if something bad happened and they had to get help from family unless they created their own destiny with bad decisions, like someone buying more crap than they could really afford and needing their parents to bail them out when they get over their head.

And finally, I don't actually care what others do. I just think it's weird. Kind of like when people discuss choices I've made like having 2u2 or attachment parenting and others say "I'd never do that, I don't see the appeal in it and it wouldn't work for me" I wouldn't be offended. It's not like I feel sorry for their kids/husbands/pets, I just don't think it's a decision I would make or something I would do with my kids if down the road we are wealthy. But like I said before, if I were raised differently I'd probably have a different perspective.

kcisthebombdotcom · July 2012

AshasaurusRex:

To not expect financial help from your parents is one thing, but to not accept a gift from someone who genuinely wants to give it to you because of your "pride" really just makes you kind of stupid and douchey.

I don't think it's stupid and douchey. It would be against the lessons I'm hoping to teach my kids. I think to preach working hard for your money/self sufficiency to your kids but then having your children know their grandparents funded their pricey private school education is kind of hypocritical. I think kids learn a lot more from our actions vs what we say.

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