Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: I can't stop stalling.
Isn't that the freaking truth.
OP, you're an idiot. You may be able to control when you conceive, (or you may start trying and not get KU for a year, whatev) but you don't get to pick how your pregnancy goes. Have fun ending up on bed rest or something sucky in your "perfect summer pregnancy" and not getting to enjoy a bit of it. If you're ready for a baby, pull your head out of your rear and get to it. If you're not, then no season or time of year or whatever will make it all perfect and sparkly and full of magical unicorns. You're making excuses and you sound like an imbecile.
And now, if you'll excuse me, my sweaty pregnant behind is going to go waddle to the bathroom to find my Gold Bond chafing stick. Because it's SO lovely being pregnant in the summer heat.
Thanks ladies!
I'm going to have a talk with my DH tonight and tell him that I realized the reasons I've been waiting on, might not really be the issue here.
Hopefully we'll figure this out!
LOL. Yeah, I know I'm being ridiculous. I said that. What I didn't say was that I also worry and am scared shiitless of being on bedrest, or not being able to carry full-term, or having health issues during my pregnancy, etc. So, it's not like I think I'll have this amazing, perfect pregnancy just because it's in the summer. I actually EXPECT the opposite. I am terrified.
These are legitimate concerns. Talk to your husband. Those are risks every woman takes.
LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:
You're kind of answering yourself there. You're not anywhere near being ready. Part of deciding to get pregnant is accepting the fact that YOU HAVE NO CONTROL. Worrying changes absolutely nothing. Nothing. Worrying didn't keep me from miscarrying my first pregnancy. Worrying about this LO's growth hasn't kept him from having IUGR issues. You take the good with the bad and you love your kiddo regardless. The "suffering" you go through in pregnancy is pretty much just part of the game. Some deal with more than others. If you're not ready to accept that, you need to be honest with your H and tell him you're not ready. And stop pretending to be something you're not in terms of posting under your normal SN. That's ridiculous.
I have several teacher friends who timed TTC so the baby would be born on Summer/Winter Break. In a perfect world with all of the star and moon aligning it would work. Chances are it might not...
If you are literally sick to your stomach then you are not ready to have a baby. My opinion is that you should have a serious conversation with your DH about this. There is no reason to fight over it - this is a major life decision and each of you need to be on the same page to emotionally be able to bring this baby into this crazy world we live in.
TTC since 10/2010 (Rhythm method since 2007)
September 2014 DX Hashimoto's; November 2014: PCOS IR
***
DH (37) Sept 2012 SA Normal; October 2014 Mild MFI count 42 Million, Motility 36%, Morphology 2%. Clomid 50mg,
2004 Cyrosurgery, LEEP
July 2012 - October 2012 - Clomid 50mg W/ TI & Progesterone 3 mature follicles- BFN
January 2013 IUI #1 (900,000 post wash) Clomid 50mg, TI & Progesterone 2 mature follicles - BFN
February 2013 IUI #2 (1.3 Mil post wash) Clomid 50mg, TI & Progesterone 4 mature follicles - BFN
March 2013 IUI #1-3 (2.5 mil post wash) Clomid 50mg, Baby Aspirin (lining thinned) TI & Progesterone - 2 mature follicles BFN
April 2013 Benched due to cyst, May 2013 WTF appointment
June 2013 DH SA mild MFI break for 2 months to re-test; August 2013 - DH SA 36 Mil count, 36% Motility, Morp 2%
September - December 2013 - Mental sanity Break
January 2014 - IUI #4 switches to natural due to scheduling conflict Femara TI & Progesterone - 1 mature follicle - BFN
May 2014-June 2014 - DH Appointment w/ Urologist to check Bi-lateral Varicocele; 2nd opinion w/ another urologist - bi-lateral varicocele dx is slight no surgery
July 2014 DH starts clomid 25mg daily SA 53.8 Mil count, Motility 37%, Morph 3%;
September 2014 DH Repeat SA after being on clomid for 3 months 42 Mil Count, Motility 36%, Morph 2%
October 2014 Me: Hashimoto's DX, DH taken off clomid;November 2014 Me: new RE PCOS IR Diagnosis
December 2014: IUI #4 Follitism 75iu 7 days, TI, IUI & Progesterone, BFMFN
January 2015: IUI #5 Gonal-F 75iu 7 days, TI, IUI & Progesterone, Another BFMFN onto IUI #6
This
BFP#1 10/1/2011. Our perfect little girl, Her heart stopped @ 12w1d. D&E 11/23/11
BFP#2 3/13/12 Weird CP/Possible EP @ 6w0d
BFP#3 5/28/12 CP @ 5w0d
BFP/WTF#4 10/26/12 CP
BFP#5 12/10/12 EDD 8/23/2013
When I read your post, it screamed "anxiety" to me. You're a nervous wreck deep down inside about having a baby and you're using excuses to avoid it. You do need to talk to your DH about your fears. It might also be helpful to talk to other mothers- ones who will be honest with you but also understanding.
The bottom line is what you are doing now, being someone you truly are not, is dividing your relationship.
Ok... I'm a little confused here. If this is not MUD, then why are you even posting on the TTGP board? You have already admitted that you make your husband wear a condom during FW. Therefore, YOU ARE NOT TRYING TO CONCEIVE. The people on this board do not purposely make their husbands or SO wear a condom... It kind of defeats the purpose, ya know?!?!?!
I don't post a lot on here, but you irritated me enough to do so! CONGRATULATIONS!!!
My Ovulation Chart
It sounds like you're making excuses. I bet you come November you'll have other reasons why not to conceive. Maybe then you'll want a winter baby? Be honest with yourself and your husband. Its okay if you're not ready to conceive. Trust me, once you are, you won't have the same silly questions or thoughts you do now.
Although I dost not defend the original poster, thou shalt not be irritated by those that are trying to avoid on hither. There art quite a few that post with regularity of whom art not actively trying.
I would say the majority of posters on TTGP are not looking to avoid. There are some (like myself) who are TTA, but learning how to chart so that when the time comes we feel informed about TTC.
LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:
Okay all I'm hearing are excuses then. I don't think you are ready for a baby. If you did, Oh sure you'd PREFER a summer baby. Hell, I'd prefer a baby to be born on or around Dh and I's anniversary, but I'm not going to shoot for just that. But if you 100% wanted a baby, you'd not really care when you get it.
All of this. Lots of ladies are TTA here & offer lots of support, knowledge and/or input.
As PP have stated, it is clear you are not ready. GL w/your conversation w/YH & whatever you both decide. Perhaps not allowing yourself to indulge in the things that make you baby crazy could help you re-focus on things.
You are a fing idiot.
This makes me so angry that I really have nothing to say.... Mom always said that if I didn't have anything nice, I shouldn't say anything....
*head to desk*