Dilemma

danieleandwayne · July 2012

So.... I hate the heat. I sweat all the time. I could be in the ocean and I'd sweat. I dehydrate really easily and often, so summer is not my favourite season-- not by a long shot. It's one reason I love living in New England and Maine specifically.

Now that I'm looking at my next cycle, I'm realizing how much I really want a baby ASAP but also starting to freak out that if I don't get pregnant this month, I'll be looking at being 9 months pregnant during the 2.5 months of summer that Maine has. I already hate the heat-- what am I going to do if I'm 9 months pregnant and trying to work?!? I'll just be a hot, melty mess and incredibly woozy and cranky all the time!

So. If I don't get pregnant this month, do I take the next 2 months off? Can I afford that at this point? I feel like every month, my egg quality takes another significant nose dive...

I have a horrible premonition that I'll be Murphy's Lawed on this issue and will end up giving birth in August during the hottest summer on record or something....

technigirl · July 2012

Well, I live in Texas, so we have the same issue - July and August seem to average about 100 degrees every day, with humidity adding a couple of degrees to the "feels like" temp. I say, go for it and don't worry about that kind of stuff. It's small stuff, it really is. I know of plenty of people who've given birth in the summer months, and although it's not ideal, they sweat it out and survive it just the same.

Also keep in mind, not every pregnant lady feels extra "hot". I know I didn't. So you might very well get there and be no more cranky, hot, and melty than you normally are in the summer. Or you may be cranky because you feel like a whale, you haven't seen your feet in weeks (months), and you feel as though an anvil is sitting on your bladder. But those things will make you cranky no matter what month you give birth in (I gave birth in November, so I can attest).

So again, I urge you not to sweat the small stuff (pun sort of intended . Just go for it! Here's hoping that you won't even have to worry about it though and this next cycle will bring you your baby.

Melissa

Mayzie15 · July 2012

IMO I wouldn't wait I feel Ike at this point I would walk across hot coals and sell myself to the devil to have a child

Abeille · July 2012

You'd get through it. 3rd tri can be pretty uncomfortable no matter the weather. You may even be one of those lucky women that feels great throughout the whole pregnancy, you really don't know. I think you'd regret waiting

How hot are Maine summers anyway? (This Texan is curious)

lhcooper · July 2012

*****TICKER WARNING*******

Don't, don't, don't wait. I am having the end of my pregnancy in the hottest summer since 1936 or something. Is it fun? No. (And A/C is key). But that's not what matters. If you delay, and then you don't get pregnant shortly after, you will wonder what might have happened had you not waited -- don't you think? I think we all used to think we could plan when our babies would arrive. Stop thinking that way and keep going for it. Seriously.

danieleandwayne · July 2012

Maine gets into the high 90s. The problem, though, is that it is HUMID. Like pea-soup muggy. It will rain, and then stay in the 80s-90s.

And I know, I'll be happy whatever and whenever I'm allowed to be pregnant and have it last for more than a month.

Summer babies don't have any of their friends around for birthday parties, and I KNOW I'll be a miserable pregnant woman-- I had HORRIBLE morning sickness pretty much immediately both pregnancies I've ever had and there is no way I won't be even worse in the heat when I'm peeing every 5 minutes instead of 20 and fatter than a house. ANd I will be happy about it deep down because I'll be pregnant.

But part of me really wants a fall/winter baby.

I'm selfish. I know.

Mayzie15 · July 2012

danieleandwayne:
Maine gets into the high 90s. The problem, though, is that it is HUMID. Like pea-soup muggy. It will rain, and then stay in the 80s-90s.
And I know, I'll be happy whatever and whenever I'm allowed to be pregnant and have it last for more than a month.
Summer babies don't have any of their friends around for birthday parties, and I KNOW I'll be a miserable pregnant woman-- I had HORRIBLE morning sickness pretty much immediately both pregnancies I've ever had and there is no way I won't be even worse in the heat when I'm peeing every 5 minutes instead of 20 and fatter than a house. ANd I will be happy about it deep down because I'll be pregnant.
But part of me really wants a fall/winter baby.
I'm selfish. I know.

I just wanted to say I don't think your selfish - lots of women plan and plan. Hell I did too - what month I would conceive, what month I would be due. I'm in accounting so I would plan around tax seasons - absolutely crazy! We don't have the luxury of planning and it doesn't seem fair

BeckyP005 · July 2012

Do not wait! We would all love that ideal month on when we could give birth. I use to think about that all the time. I love you dearly but I would rather be PG in the very hot humid summer than being PG at 45 This is where my dilemma is as of now. So get on it sister

irishgirl0525 · July 2012

That's what AC is for. This is not a good reason to wait. Perhaps when we were in our 20's we could have had the luxury of choosing the perfect month in which to give birth, but that is not happening now. Get on it.

owlprof · July 2012

I echo the other ladies....don't wait! My mom lived in Western PA her entire life..until she moved to Texas in May 1975 when she was 7 months pregnant with me. She made it through. Besides, summer babies are awesome!

mrsjami · July 2012

Whenever you get preg will be the perfect time. I had my son right after Xmas and it stinks bc of the holidays and the weather...snowed on every party! BUT none of that matters and I have no regrets. Don't cheat yourself out of any month, time is not on our side.

dhreczuck · July 2012

Like everyone else said, don't wait. I'm an August baby myself, and I seriously don't feel didn't feel neglected in the bday party dept growing up..but if you feel you need a mental break for a month or two, maybe give yourself that time or just do it and don't temp and chart?

lhcooper · July 2012

***TICKER****

My birthday is in mid-August. It's fine and I always had great birthday parties. The only way to not be pregnant at all in the summer is to get knocked up in September and deliver in May. Every teacher's dream, but not realistic. What's great about a summer pregnancy is: fewer maternity clothes to spend tons of money on, because it's easier to make regular clothing fit. And again: if you have A/C, which I'm guessing you do, it is really not a big deal. Finally, no matter how you have felt in 2 other pregnancies, every pregnancy is different and one is not determinative of the other. Your choice, of course, and if you are this anxious about it maybe it's not worth it. I myself would regret the lost months, and when U was still trying with my OE my RE said every month counts.

ShellBear+ · July 2012

I wouldn't wait if I were you. I thought about this myself because if I don't get pg in the next cycle or two I will have a summer baby and where I live it is hot, like surface of the sun hot. That is not ideal at all but I don't care because I know now that I cannot plan for when I will have a baby and nothing is a guarantee anyway. At this point I can be due in July or christmas day and I don't care. If you are pg in the summer you will get through it but I understand being worried about it.

Mrs.McIrish · July 2012

I just have to say that you are being ridiculous. First off, how many 90+ days do you get in ME? I was there last July and it was very chilly. Second, you work in a hospital that is definitely air conditioned. Have you been in the South in the summer? That is humid. Third, didn't it take you 9 months to get the last chemical PG? Why would you throw away 2 months at this stage? Are you willing to wait another 11 months to get a positive?

People who can plan pregnancies are lucky. Actually, women who can get pregnant at all are lucky. The month doesn't matter and should be seen as a gift and not a heat-inconvenience. Sorry if this sounds harsh but there are way worse "dilemmas" than this.

As for the b-day party issue, I am an August baby and my friends always showed up for my parties...

SaintCity · July 2012

***tickers***

Yup, guilty of lurking. I used to post here and tend to check back. I have to say that I agree with mcirish. Sorry but yes, youre kinda being ridiculous. I've never been pregnant in summer and I imagine many aspects of the heat would suck (I'm thinking swollen ankles..ugh) but seriously all of that would be minor in the grand scheme of things! You're getting a BABY at the end of it. Jeesh.

danieleandwayne · July 2012

While I agree with you that I'm being ridiculous (I AM totally hormonal, between the progesterone supplements and the CD1), but it's also clear you don't understand what my job is like. We do NOT have A/C in the hospital-- not in the rooms where I work. Our ICU has thermostats in each room and many of our patients need hot rooms. Not to mention, our average patient is intubated, vented, and is 350lbs of dead weight, and require a minimum repositioning frequency of every 2 hours.

My typical work day doesn't allow for proper hydration-- my typical patients are sick enough that I spend most of my day in their rooms, not out at the nurse's station drinking water.

And it doesn't need to be 90+ degrees for me to be affected by the heat. Just 80s (McIrish, last July was unseasonably cold for Maine, and rainy-- plus, it depends on where you are in Maine-- it's a huge state. I'm inland, away from the coastal breeze, in a river valley. I've lived in the South-- there's a reason I don't live there now. That humidity is like living in a vat of pea soup on the stove. I fainted three times in one half of a rugby match once in Savannah-- in June.)

Ultimately, I'll be trying this month-- MH and I have another BD marathon planned this month, in fact. And I will, I know, ultimately be happily puking and fainting at work or home on bed rest if I'm 9 months pregnant this time next year. But I'm cranky, crampy, pissed off, and having my little hissy fit over the fact that everything about this TTC has so far sucked big arse.

I'm a big baby today sucking on a huge pity party lollipop.

I think it may be time to just get some ice cream and then pull up the big girl panties and get over myself!

technigirl · July 2012

Your job does sound like it's physically tough, especially for a preggo lady. I did want to point out that despite the heat, there's at least one major benefit to being really pregnant in the summer - you can wear flip flops! Since I had DD in late fall, I had stocked up on cute flat boots and shoes, thinking they would be perfect. Wrong! I couldn't even get my hugely swollen foot/ankle/calf through the shaft of most of those boots or into the shoes. I ended up mostly wearing 1 pair of flats that kind of fit, and those ended up super stretched out when all was said and done. I was super jealous of the summer ladies since they got to wear shorts and flip flops all the time.

Melissa

danieleandwayne · July 2012

technigirl:
Your job does sound like it's physically tough, especially for a preggo lady. I did want to point out that despite the heat, there's at least one major benefit to being really pregnant in the summer - you can wear flip flops! Since I had DD in late fall, I had stocked up on cute flat boots and shoes, thinking they would be perfect. Wrong! I couldn't even get my hugely swollen foot/ankle/calf through the shaft of most of those boots or into the shoes. I ended up mostly wearing 1 pair of flats that kind of fit, and those ended up super stretched out when all was said and done. I was super jealous of the summer ladies since they got to wear shorts and flip flops all the time.
Melissa

That's a very good point! I never wear shoes in the house-- just slippers or flip flops, so I can imagine that it would be WAY more comfortable to go the flip-flop route if/when super-pregnant!

I actually just had a chat with my sister-- her son is autistic. She was telling me how she had an argument with a woman from her church about the upcoming vote in Maine for gay marriage. My sister is normally very in line with the Catholic Church's stance on things, being a good Catholic girl and all, but she was trying to explain to this woman that she would be THRILLED if my nephew could find ANYONE who would love him and cherish him for everything that he is (he can be a little difficult sometimes, especially since he sees the world so very differently than most others). So my sister supports gay marriage, because if her son turns out to find a perfect person for him and that person is another man, she wants her son to have the option to marry him and be equal.

It snapped me out of my funk a bit: my sister has had to totally revamp her expectations about her son. All those hopes and plans in her head that she envisioned for my nephew's future have been rewritten and reinvented by the reality of having an autistic son.

In light of that, I think my little concerns about a summer baby are incredibly pale by comparison!

tampabayRN · July 2012

While I totally understand your dilemma living in Florida and also being a nurse I would totally deal with 98 degree weather with 100% humidity in order to have a healthy baby. Your hospital seriously does not have air conditioning??? I would croak!

danieleandwayne · July 2012

tampabayRN:
While I totally understand your dilemma living in Florida and also being a nurse I would totally deal with 98 degree weather with 100% humidity in order to have a healthy baby. Your hospital seriously does not have air conditioning??? I would croak!

We have it-- they don't use it usually. And like I said, our rooms have individual thermostats that mostly work-- but our patients are almost ALWAYS really cold (lots of sepsis!).

I will deal. I'm just hormonal, CD1, etc.

And I get cranky in the heat. I am out in a t-shirt and jeans when it's in the 30s, here. That's how I like it!

annalisel · July 2012

You know. There's nothing wrong with considering EDD timing. Lots of couple do. Not being able to consider this is something "trying" for awhile takes away from you. It's part of the unfairness. Even my husband, who knows that we would be extremely lucky to get pregnant at all, has made comments about how it wouldn't be great for us to have a EDD in May or June because of finals. (He's a teacher.)

Sorry about CD1.

tampabayRN · July 2012

I completely understand! I too have had this same exact thought in the beginning of this process.

elizabethnseanny · July 2012

I don't think you take the next two months off...that's what air conditioning is for! We can do all things in all seasons

My DH and I were just talking about me not getting pregnancy during all of the treatments, and maybe it was because I hate the heat too. Now, if I'm pregnant this month (still have yet to get a blood test) I'll be biggest in the winter. GL hun.

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