must. vent. anyone else?

sammylee007 · July 2012

most of the time when I go out, I take baby with me.I just feel better to know that shes with me. Anywho I needed to shop for a wedding gift and dh and I had this big discussion about me leaving baby with him because it would make it easier for me. So I reluctantly gave in and went shopping and got my eyebrows waxed, it was nice.

So I get home only to find that my daughter has not napped since I left. She is so cranky and over tired, and possibly over fed that she is screaming, something she never does. It takes me 3 hours to put this child to bed! Of course he goes to sleep. I know he means well and hes an awesome dad but sometimes I wish he wouldnt be so lazy and would just take the time to comfort her before bed or nap. Shes a very easy going baby and only needs to be swaddled and cuddled in a quiet dim area to fall asleep. But heaven forbid he not watch tv for 15/ 20 minutes.

and this morning (!) he brings baby and seems to have just plopped her in bed beside me and shes crying and awake akd its nap time. So I have to calm her and put her to sleep. I know it could be so much worse, I am just really frustrated

Sillylttleone · July 2012

So sorry your going through this.

I get frustrated too! The baby and I at night go down to our man cave. When the baby sleeps - which is every 2 hours or so until he needs to be fed or changed, I am on the couch, baby in a bassinet besides me. DH sleeps upstairs in our bedroom so he can get his full night sleep for the day as he has to work. Even on the weekends he never offers to stay up all night with him. It really makes me pissed. Its been a month and I havent slept more then 2 hour increments at a time. Because I am on maternity, he makes me feel like not only should I be up all night with the baby, but that the laundry and dinner should be done too. I know I am on leave, but still...I'm busy and tired! Errrr

jasminelorraine20 · July 2012

I breastfeed so everytime the baby cries my SO claims he is hungry and gives him to me. I get really annoyed when i'm cooking dinner and he's playing the video game and when the baby starts to cry, he looks at me like i'm supposed to drop everything to go soothe him. Frustrating isn't the word

khill86 · July 2012

jasminelorraine20:
I breastfeed so everytime the baby cries my SO claims he is hungry and gives him to me. I get really annoyed when i'm cooking dinner and he's playing the video game and when the baby starts to cry, he looks at me like i'm supposed to drop everything to go soothe him. Frustrating isn't the word

ugh this is the same as my husband. on one hand, i want to cut him some slack because he really hasn't figured out a rhythm with ds yet, and he has yet to figure out what works for them. but on the other hand, i think he should just try harder. i don't have someone to hand ds off to during the day.

although, dh and ds did just about break my heart last night. we were at walmart and dh told me he (and baby in stroller) would meet me at the last thing i had to get, he just wanted to look at the electronics. so i go, grab the last 2 things we need and wait and wait and wait. 5 minutes go by, i go to electronics - not there. go back to where i was and wait a few more minutes. go to near cash and wait. go to customer service and page him. wait at the front. nothing. add to this, dh had the diaper bag and my wallet, which he knew. so finally i ask the greeter if i can leave my cart with him because i thought dh might have gone out to the car. i get out there, and dh was sitting with ds, rocking him, and they were both crying. i felt so bad! i guess ds started to cry and dh came to find me, didn't see me, so he went outside because people started looking at him with this crying baby. he knew he had my wallet, but thought i'd realize he was outrside (but i knew he knew he had my wallet so why would he leave if he knew i couldn't pay for anything). after about 10 minutes passed and ds was still crying, dh started crying and by then he didn't want to go back in to find me. i felt terrible. when i saw them crying i cried, too. ds was fine as soon as dh handed him to me, but dh was so upset. he said he didn't know what else to do, he was about to drive home (leaving me with no cell phone or wallet), thaw some of my pumped milk, and give ds a bottle (which we have yet to do, i'm only pumping "just-in-case"). ugh i can still see them both crying in the car and i just feel so guilty. we agreed to never separate in a store again!

aldavis78 · July 2012

wow. I'm sorry. It takes two. Maybe if he spent a day with the baby he'd appreciate what you do each day!

ginamarie001 · July 2012

Ugh! I'm going through the same thing! I'm a police officer but out on maternity leave until end of October (I saved all my sick time for the past 9 years to be off this long when I had a baby). My boyfriend is working so I do all the diaper changes and feelings All day and night...plus I exclusively pump. He's supposed to help me on the weekend but rarely does and when he does he huffs and puffs about it. He's a good guy but he needs to get a clue!! It's gonna be super hard going back to work...things better change.

You're not alone! Communicate how you feel to him no matter what and hang in there!!

gigantan · July 2012

khill86:
...i thought dh might have gone out to the car. i get out there, and dh was sitting with ds, rocking him, and they were both crying.

How heartbreaking!

superherostocker · July 2012

I have been beyond my breaking point with dh. I am a sahm so I am alone with two kids all day long. I dont expect him to help too much during the week because I dont want him too tired and worn out for his demanding job. But on his days off can he help? All I want is one morning to sleep in! Nope, his last day off he slept until three! And my cabin fevet is getting bad but he doesnt want to leave the house. I can understand, but I am going crazy!

StephenW4 · July 2012

so frustrating! I know how you feel - DH is such a good dad, but sometimes I feel like he's being lazy when DD needs soothing. He will pick her up when she starts to cry, but then just sit on the couch and try and rock her. When that doesn't work, he just tries changing her position, but DD likes to be walked around and shushed and I feel like he rarely walks her around. Then he gets frustrated and so does DD and then he tells me he thinks she's hungry and she usually calms down within a minute of me holding her b/c I know to get up and walk around. He's getting a little better, but it's frustrating when I'm home all day dealing with her and he doesn't last 10 minutes without handing her off.

Nightime can get stressful too when DD goes back to sleep after a feeding, but wakes up 30 min later needing some soothing. I feel bad waking DH up in the middle of a weeknight, but he doesn't wake up and offer to hold her on the weekends either.

I think they just expect us moms to know exactly what we're doing and how to soothe LOs and be a super-mom just by nature. They forget it's new to us, too.

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