So our friends gave us a bassinet (totally thankful for free gear) and told us that they used it to keep baby in their room the first month or so. I wasn't expecting to have our baby in our room at all. I thought starting baby in its room would be helpful with helping DH sleep and just starting a routine from the very beginning. Although, I feel like now that I have been talking to people everyone keeps their baby in their room in the beginning. I wasn't sure if this is for people that have bigger houses and the baby's room is further down the hall (our house is tiny and the baby's room and our room is side by side). Is this an unrealistic thought to think that our baby can sleep in it's crib in it's own room from the beginning? I don't mind if it is in our room I just never thought it would start out in there. Any thoughts would be appreciated!!
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Re: Bassinet in your room???
This is something that everyone feels a little differently about.
Personally, I'm a fan of keeping LO with you for a while. It has been shown to reduce risk of SIDS, it makes nighttime feedings easier, and plus I just think they need some time to adjust to being on their own.
We kept DS in our room for the first 7 months and then transitioned him to his bed at that point because it was obvious that he was ready for his own space. We'll definitely start out with this LO in our room as well. We'll transition them when it seems like the right time.
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This. I plan on breastfeeding so baby won't be in their own room until weened. Why would you want to wander through your house at midnight with two hours of sleep (if you're lucky) and bang into stuff? I would fall on the dog or something. Arms reach is safest and easiest. And I've also read that being in the same room helps with SIDS/choking prevention and attachment.
This! DS was with us until he was 4 months old. Then we started transitioning him to his crib. We started with naps. Then we would put him in his crib to go to sleep at night. The first time he woke up he came back in the room with us. That just happened to be the way it worked for DS though!
We had DD in our room for the first 5 months, I will do the same thing with this LO. Besides the whole nightfeeding/BF thing, as well as SIDS reduction, I would also feel badly putting a newborn baby in another room by him/herself at night after having been in my belly. I just feel like it would be a dramatic detachment.
It's a personal decision, and ultimately, you just have to do what works best for your family.
This makes so much sense. How would that affect a little one after being so tucked up and hearing your heart and voice for nine months then nothing but a dark, silent room? Wow.
DS slept in our room for 2 months. DH was getting no sleep with DS in our room so I slept on a cot in DS room and we got him settled in his crib. This way everyone slept better. Having the child sleep in the same room as parents actually decreases the risk of SIDS so it was worth it to us to compromise this way.
If you are curious about the recommendations. This is from First Candle, the education group working to fight SIDS and the AAP (American Academy of Pediatrics):
It is the recommendation of First Candle, in conjunction with the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) and National Institute of Child Health and Human Development (NICHD), that the safest place for your baby to sleep, for at least the first six months, is near your bed in his or her own separate space.
Experts warn that there is no evidence to support the notion that bed sharing is somehow protective against SIDS. In fact, there is significant evidence to indicate that bed sharing increases the risk of SIDS, suffocation and accidental deaths.
However, research does show that room sharing (placing your baby in her own separate space, but near your bed) can reduce the risk of SIDS and the potential for accidents such as suffocation, falls from the bed and entrapment between the mattress and the wall, headboard, footboard or other piece of furniture.
ETA: Link if you want to do some more research- https://www.firstcandle.org/new-expectant-parents/bedtime-basics-for-babies/
Yup. Big reason for me. Also what others have said...SIDS prevention, easier on you waking up, especially if you're breastfeeding. DD slept in our room for about 6 months. After that we transitioned her to her crib in her own room. Then for a couple of months after that, when she would wake up the first time, she'd sleep in our bed for the rest of the night. We did that scenario until it didn't work anymore.
I think it's one of those 'to each his own' type things. Also, you can think you'll do one thing, then do something completely different when baby comes/as baby grows.
We're open to go either way when it comes down to it. At this time, we're planning to have baby in a bassinet in our room to make midnight feedings easier. But, once the munchkin sleeps through the night, I presume crib in nursery it will be.
But, I have had some friend moms mention that their babies where such loud sleepers with all the snuffling and snorting and sucking sounds and just plain breathing, that keeping baby in the room meant they never fell asleep themselves. They were just too hypersensitive to every sound that they couldn't relax. So I'm open to seeing how it goes and what works once the baby's here.
The baby's room is just across the hall, so it's not a long walk, but the layout of the house means we don't share a wall. I'll make sure I have a monitor that works well.
I do plan to have the baby nap in the nursery from the get go either way, though, since I want him/her to get used to sleeping there.
I actually didn't realize that this was the recommendation from AAP. It just felt natural to me
Interesting.
ETA: I also wanted to mention that my plan was to have baby in the room with us for the first 6-8 weeks max, but my opinion on this (and a lot of other things) changed once I was actually a mom. Your instincts really take over and it changes your viewpoint sometimes. I'm definitely not the mother I envisioned myself as I don't think that's a bad thing at all.
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Our baby will be put in a bassinet for the first month just for feedings while I heal and after that our little one will be in there own room in their crib! My number one rule is no babys in the bed! That is mine and my husbands time to be alone together.
Again, I've heard parents that have done it both ways and really I think you can just try and see what works for you. Lucky that you got a free bassinet so if you decide you want baby in the room with you you don't need to go buy something to make that happen.
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Yes on all accounts. DS's nursery was right next to our room, but we still kept him in our room until he was sleeping through the night. I felt a lot more at peace being able to check on him easily during the night.
We will have our baby in the bassinet for the first week. Then he/she will move to their crib. This is how we did it with DD. and the only reason for it is because we are in a multi level house and with me having a CS with DD it was to prevent me from going up/down too much. This was also for DH and his worries. But after a few days I wanted her in her crib.
Its whatever you are comfortable with. My brother and SIL out all their kids straight to the crib because their house was small and the rooms are all in a s,all area. It didn't make sense to have the baby in their room. All 3 kids are healthy and doing great.
I say wait until baby gets here and then do whatever feels right for you. I had every intention of DS sleeping in a bassinet in our room, but not next to the bed. Once I brought him home we ended up cosleeping which is actually something I was against before he was born!
After about 5 months, he made it very clear that things were no longer to his liking and he's been in his crib ever since. I actually went into it with no plans. We just took things one day at a time and did what felt right that day. This baby will either sleep in the bassinet or in bed with us again due to a lack of room this time around.
Good luck with your decision!
I want LO around for at least a few months [again we don't really have a choice but I would anyways] but more to make it easier for me to nurse. I don't expect DH to get up [and he's a good sleeper so he should be able to get used to the crying] so I want it to be easier for me.
I think unless you're bed sharing [which is not considered safe and I would never do] your infant will still be separated from you so I don't think having it's own room would be all that dramatic.
::headdesk::
I'm going to keep this short, bc I'm on my phone.
While it's true that no one knows what causes SIDS, there has much been research dedicated to finding ways to reduce it. It's irresponsible to completely throw those out the window. For example, since the Back to Sleep campaign, the incidence of SIDS has dropped dramatically. You SHOULD make parenting decisions based on the research.
And the idea that newborns can't see so they don't know their mom isn't around is ridiculous.
All this. The Public Health agncy of Canada and the Candian Pediatric Society also recommend "room-sharing" as associated with a reduced risk of SIDS and recommend that you room-share until baby is 6 months old.
And babies can tell their moms are nearby by much more than sight. Duh!
You don't have to decide right now. I would set up the bassinett by your bed, but if you don't feel you need the baby so close after you try that, go ahead and move him/her to the crib in the other room.
I like having the baby nearby at the beginning when I'm breastfeeding every 3 hours around the clock! With this baby, the nursery will be down the hall and closer to my older kids' rooms than our room, so that may factor into how long the baby stays in our room. I do want to transition the baby to his/her own crib and room as soon as we can, but we'll just have to wait and see if our kids end up being disturbed by the baby's wakings or not.
But, they are unsure if it has anything to do with this, it is a hypothesis. They have thrown out other things they have researched before, so why base a decision on faulty research? They may throw this out in a few years. My parents were told to put babies to sleep on their tummy.... that was thrown out. They are now linking it to crib bumpers too... what next? I think too many people are paranoid for something that maybe inevitable if it may have something to do with the baby's brain. How can you make parenting decisions based on faulty research, based on research that can be thrown out? You can't. All you can do is follow your instinct on things like this. Some people cosleep, some research says cosleeping increases the risk of SIDS some say the opposite.
As for the "Duh" statement. Do you think babies are dogs and they can smell their mothers? No!! Can you tell if some one is in the same room with you if they are quite? No! Many people have crimes committed in their own home without sensing someone is there the moment they are there. The "Duh" statement completely unnecessary and rude. Refrain if you don't agree and can't make a valid argument rather than inserting a rude "Duh" regarding mine, when I gave a reason why I thought that, and why I think the SIDS research is faulty.
Actually, newborns can see. They're not blind. And they do know their mothers using their other senses as well. Especially if you're BF'ing they can smell your milk.
And I agree with PP that just because they don't know what causes SIDS there's no excuse to dismiss studies which have found things that reduce/impact SIDS. That doesn't mean YOU have to choose to do the recommended thing if it doesn't feel right/work for you family, but it's nothing to just dismiss because they don't know what the exact impact is.
Again, this is one of these things that everyone is going to feel differently about, but your reasons for not agreeing with it don't really make much sense. Maybe it's not the right thing for you, and that's fine, but I wouldn't make that decision based on the fact that you think a newborn can't see you so they don't know you're there or because they might still fall victim to SIDS. That doesn't make much sense.
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