MIL has a nursery for baby..should I say something?

jenkanne · July 2012

I wouldn't worry. If my mom had the money and the room she'd have one too!

Manx4 · July 2012

Just wanted to add - MH & I came home one night last month to find our power out. It was 90? at 11 PM. So no fans, no AC...no WAY were we going to be able to sleep that night.

We called the IL's (who only live about 10 minutes away) and stayed the night there - DS had a room and crib to sleep in with the sound machine he likes to sleep with, diapers, wipes, food....

We didn't have to rush around a dark house with a flash light attempting to find what we needed.

Just saying...there may be situations where it will be a blessing to have that nursery.

PamelaC · July 2012

I definitely think it is weird, but I wouldn't say anything.

rpt06 · July 2012

When I was pg for DD I felt so smothered/overwhelmed by all things like that. I think everyone, especially grandparents, just get so excited they have a hard time containing themselves at times. Especially for their first grandchild since its been a long time since a baby has come into the family. I'd just let it go though, she'll get the hint eventually that most of it probably won't get used.

katiedollaz · July 2012

My MIL has this too, except she didn't buy a new crib she had a family member give her one. Once my SIL moved out of her room my MIL changed it into nursery. She is also expecting my BIL's baby to play there. They are due about 3 weeks after us. So I am not saying anything about it. I doubt our baby will sleep there ever but maybe if we have dinner there he might nap there but that's about it. I am just letting her be for now.

MrsAB1316 · July 2012

I honestly don't think it's weird at all. Before we moved across country, my mom had planned on setting up a nursery for DS. We lived 20 minutes away and there were a lot of times that would stay the night with my parents because DH and Dad would have a few beers and we'd be having too much fun to leave, so we'd stay.

And, because I'm a "Worst Case Scenario" kinda gal... what happens if there is an emergency? Your house burns down? Your neighborhood gets evacuated? Bed Bugs invade your house? A family member is in the hospital and you have to travel on short notice? It will be nice to have all that stuff already at your MIL's house so that you don't have to worry about any of that on top of already bad situations.

freeatlast2014 · July 2012

I won't let DS sleep anywhere without me (he's 18 months) but he is still in a crib and still naps. If places I went (my mom's, my IL's) had somewhere for him to safely nap or sleep, my visits would go so much smoother. My DS used to go to bed by like 6pm so even at my MIL's, who is only 3 blocks away, it was a huge PITA because we had to be home so early for him. I would have loved a crib!

I also want to add that even going a few miles away there is so much stuff to bring for a short outing that you'll probably feel so relieved!!

esalyi · July 2012

holly71087:
Sage4200:

So MIL has created a nursery in her house for our baby. I keep thinking its a bit odd as obviously we would let her babysit from time to time but I dont ever antiicapte him spending the night as an infant and she has a crib (a very expensive one at that) Do you think I should say something so she doesn't get upset down the road that she bought all this for nothing (I never asked her to buy anything). We only live 10 minutes away so its not like we spend the night. My parents live far so we were planning to have them come visit and spend the night at our place if we ever had a wedding or overnight event.

Im going to see her this weekend and kind of wanted to bring it up but not sure if I should just keep my mouth shut.

wait. do you mean your son never went to her house at all in the first year? or just didn't sleep over. Isn't that weird that you never took your son to her house? or are you on bad terms?

MIL had a nursery set up in her room. my step daughter had her visitation there when she was a baby and she legit had an entire nursery set up. she left it set up when DS was born (granted it was already there) but changed it to be "boy themed" for DS. we lived 20 mins away. by the time his 1st birthday rolled around and he had never even been to her house, she got the hint and took everything down.

you're call if you want to say something, but DON'T let her use it to guilt trip you down the road . ie "Oh I have this whole room set up for baby and you won't even let me watch him/her overnight, I spent all this money to prepare for the baby to spend time with me" etc etc.

leffe1 · July 2012

My friend had this happen. She bought matching everything. Needless to say they don't speak anymore to this day.

damabo80 · July 2012

Manx4:
So you're never going to have dinner there and want to lay baby down for a nap?
I don't see what the big deal is really, it's a room she decorated with her own money. I'm sure she's excited and since she has other kids, I'm sure it'll be used once they settle down & have kids too.
Maybe she got a good deal on the stuff?
I love visiting my IL's because we don't need to bring ANYTHING, they have everything we need. It's nice to just go over, enjoy dinner, relax and then go home. Less to pack!

I wish my ILs had a nursery for the baby. It would make visits there soooooo much easier. As it stands, next time we visit, I'm going to need to sleep on the floor with DD and DS.

LexiLouWho101 · July 2012

Ok, I know this will probably be unpopular due to what everyone else on this thread is saying but FWIW...

Why would you even have an issue with this? Let me give you MY situation and you decide which you'd rather have... My mom passed away unexpectedly from cancer when my firstborn was just 6 weeks old. He's 5 now and I'm currently pregnant with #3. I have no extended family on that side anymore. No one who could/would help out and watch my children if/when I needed it. My husband's parents spend more time out of the country than in (they like to vacation) and have no interest at all in watching their grandchildren (they have 15 of them already so the novelty has worn off completely for them) even when we practically beg because we want to be able to get away for just one night.

I have a really hard time when people complain about 'over-involved' grandparents because I'm sitting on the other side of the fence where my kids barely even have grandparents. I would LOVE to have a mother-in-law who asked to watch my kids, especially since I don't have a mother of my own anymore to ask for help. I get the whole "it's my first baby and I don't want to share him" thing, but it's so important to still have time just you and your hubby and without the help of other people it's next to impossible to get. Did she go a little overboard with buying stuff? Perhaps. But it's her money and her house so who cares. Just be happy she's so excited for you and take advantage of having that extra set of arms to hug and love your child and the fact that she actually WANTS to watch your wee one. Believe me, it kinda sucks to NOT have that support.

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