Parenting

S/O Kid Touching

There have been a few rage against kid touching posts lately and I just can't get my hackles up over it. LO goes to daycare and he has people other than me touching him all day, and my family and DH's family all have reprimanded LO at one time or another by pulling him away from something. He gets touched in public too occasionally. It really doesn't bother me at all. I might not love it if a cashier moved LO's hand away from the credit card machine, but I think it is also on me to keep him away from the thing. I think it does take a village to raise a child, I was raised by my whole community, and most of these posts just seem over the top ...


Re: S/O Kid Touching

  • Ms5586Ms5586 member
    I'm in a similar situation.  My family will discipline J if I don't see him doing something he shouldn't be, and I do the same with their kids.  I would have an issue with a stranger doing something if it wasn't harmful, but other than that, it honestly doesn't bother me like it does others.
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  • In a way I kind of see what you are saying.  But I also see how it bothers people when strangers touch their children.  My father in law touched a baby at a table next to us one time when we were out and I was mortified.  I guess he felt like since he was a grandparent it was ok and I know it is so NOT.  He's very sensitive though so I didn't say anything to him but I really felt like I should have told him he shouldn't ever do that to a stranger's child.
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  • imageScout2005:

    There is touching, and then there is touching in discipline. Esp when I'm standing right there.

    It's not okay.

    eta: Also, the cashier at the grocery store =/= my mom, my MIL or other trusted family member. 

    The problem with "it takes a village" is that a lot of our fellow villagers are nuts. I don't know you, I don't really know how far you're going to take it. Don't touch my kid.

    This. 

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  • imageMs5586:
    I'm in a similar situation.  My family will discipline J if I don't see him doing something he shouldn't be, and I do the same with their kids.  I would have an issue with a stranger doing something if it wasn't harmful, but other than that, it honestly doesn't bother me like it does others.

    As long as the stranger is not disciplining my kid, I am okay, or if they have bothered establishing some rapport first.

    My mother does NOT like the ushers at their church picking C up to bring him back to her. I can understand why, but then have also told her to stop letting him run off in the first place (open seating on the carpet, no nursery for little kids but she sits in the side room with other parents); while C runs off sometimes, other kids are worse according to her.

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  • It doesn't bother me if someone at the store or in public ask Oliver to give them a high five.  That happens pretty often.  The thing about that is the person is not forcing themself on Oliver and just touching him.  He has the choice to give them five or not in that situation.  I wouldn't want random people just coming up and touching him without asking though.
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  • As long as it is not done with force or in a mean spirited way, I can't really get worked up about this one.
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  • I have no problem with relatives or friends or teachers moving my kid's hands or whatever if they're doing something they shouldn't. But I would be upset if some random cashier touched my kid to discipline them, especially if I was already trying to get them to stop whatever behavior prompted it.
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  • imageByeBabyBunting:

    There have been a few rage against kid touching posts lately and I just can't get my hackles up over it. LO goes to daycare and he has people other than me touching him all day, and my family and DH's family all have reprimanded LO at one time or another by pulling him away from something. He gets touched in public too occasionally. It really doesn't bother me at all. I might not love it if a cashier moved LO's hand away from the credit card machine, but I think it is also on me to keep him away from the thing. I think it does take a village to raise a child, I was raised by my whole community, and most of these posts just seem over the top ...

    Yeah, I feel the same way.  I think it might come from me working in the schools and dealing with other people's children all day long.  It doesn't bother me if someone touches my kid, especially if they aren't doing the right thing or I'm not doing my job of keeping them away from something.  I wouldn't like them disciplining them (except family), but say, moving them off of something they're climbing on at a store or somewhere... it takes a village.  

    Heck, I've even told the random person who instinctually told ds to be nice to his sister when he was being rough at the park that I agreed with her and to not feel sorry for saying it.  She looked like she worried that I was going to be mad (like many moms would've been), but I thanked her.  He needs to hear it from more than just his mom or just his teacher.  I know that taught me a lot growing up.


  • My problem with the "discipline" that the original poster was describing was that it sounded like it wasn't done in a kind or gentle way. It sounded like it was angry and somewhat forceful. And I do think that is inappropriate, ESPECIALLY for a stranger. If my son is doing something he shouldn't and a store employee kindly but firmly says something to him, that wouldn't bother me. (Although I would hope I'd already be addressing the situation!) But if they touch my child in anger, regardless of it it physically hurts him or not, I'm going to be upset.

    I've actually had cashiers tell my son not to play with the credit card machine and I just use what they have said to reinforce what I am trying to teach him. I don't see it as a bad thing. But don't touch my kid if you're angry! 

  • I have a scenario. Possibly. The cashier touching post made me think of it. 

    The other day I was at Michael's  with LO. It was his first time sitting in the front part of the cart. He has a cart cover that has two toys attached to it, like little fabric toys that squeak. Anyway, he had one of them in his mouth. Which was totally fine, it's his toy. I stopped an employee and asked where I might find the item I was looking for. She started to answer me, stopped, looked at LO and then rather abruptly pulled his hand away from his mouth, which of course made the toy come out of his mouth too. I THINK she may have thought he had grabbed something off the shelf. We were standing next to some bins that had small toys in them. But it startled him and he started to cry. She then said, "Oh did I scare you?" I just kind of laughed it off, but thought about it later and then again today and I kind of feel like that was inappropriate. Even if she did think he had something from a shelf, she could have handled it differently instead of just grabbing my kids hand.

    In general, I prefer for strangers not to touch LO. At least not on his hands because EVERYTHING he touches goes in his mouth. Or just his hands go in his mouth. I get that people want to greet him and say hello but they can do that without touching. I probably wouldn't get totally bent out of shape about it though.  

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