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acbarbour
member
Big brother/sister parties
acbarbour
member
in Baby Showers
This is not BS related but I have a party question and you ladies seem like the best help.
I have an amazing 7 year old son from a previous relationship. My husband and I are expecting our first together and I was wondering if a big brother party would be a good idea for DS. We are moving to a new area in the next few months so he will have new school, new sports teams, new house and a new baby. I wanted to do something to make him feel special.
DH was thinking getting his friends together and having a birthday party type celebration with some advice given from other kids his age that have younger siblings. I am the oldest of 6 children and towards the end of my mothers would pregnancy she would have a large family dinner and have a "ceremony" where the youngest would be crowned big brother/sister to the new baby, then you would begin to get your "lessons" (where to stack the diapers, where to put empty bottles, how to refill the wipes) in how to be one from the older kids. I thought this was fun when I got crowned and got my stickers (each of us had a colored sticker and we could pick one day during the month when mom was ours exclusively).
I think either idea would be ok but is this something that is still done or should we just spend some time with him alone to prep him for his sisters arrival?
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Re: Big brother/sister parties
I think the family celebration you did growing up sounds absolutely adorable. I love it. The sticker idea to get one day a month exclusively with mom is super special. You obviously come from a very loving family, so I can understand why you would want to start your own tradition.
However, I'm not sure it will translate as well w/ your DS if invite his friends or non-family members. I have never heard of a party like this, and people might be confused about your intentions. They might think you are trying to make DS feel special by having his own party and they could think you are asking everyone to give him gifts. It could be awkward.
If you can, I would limit it to a family celebration. I am just not sure it would work with DS's peers. Maybe it can be done, but I think it will be tough to pull off and confusing for your guests. Good luck!
LOVE what your family did!
But for friends, I think it's a little overboard and probably over the heads of little kids. On a practical level you also run the risk of someone saying that their baby sister GETS EVERYTHING, steals all the toys, etc.!
Ditto gnome. I think it's a cute idea w/in your family. I wouldn't make this a kid party. And I'd find it very odd if DS were invited to such a party.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
I think it's a great idea to make a big to-do about his becoming a big brother. Showing him that he is valued and will be depending upon to help out with do wonders for his self esteem and place in the family, I think.
I love the idea of "date nights" with him where just the 2 of you go for ice cream or on a bike ride once a month while dad stays home with the baby.
I'm not sure how the party idea would work. I like it in theory, but I'm just not sure how you could pull it off without it seeming kind of gift grabby (even if no gifts are requested, a party kind of generally insinuates gifts, IMO)
What about doing something with just the grandparents and you guys?
BFP#1 10 wk missed mc
BFP#2 DS born at 40+2 on 8/14/12 BFP#3 DD Born at 39+3 on 5/13/14
Yeah, I'm not liking it for friends. Family would be great, but honestly, I think this might pump into his head that he needs a party for every event in his life. Just kind of goes back to the whole issue of entitlement that people seem to be growing up with.
I think it would be super cute for family. And I think it is important for him to know how important he still is. I love the "date with you" idea. I just don't think it warrants a whole party with friends. I would majorly side-eye this if my kid got an invite to something like that if it wasn't his cousin. Plus, as PP said, it comes off as a little gift-grabby. Even if you request "no gifts", people are still going to feel inclined to get him something.
Family party (including grandparents) like you described = yes
Special date night? = yes
Invites, new school friends and a big public to-do? = no
He's the single greatest thing I've done in my life and reminds me daily of how fun (and funny) life can be. He's turned out pretty swell for having such a heartless and evil mother.
Thanks ladies,
I think we are just going to do the dinner with our parents and very close Aunts and Uncles at home. Serve his favorite foods and crown him a Big Brother, like we did when I was a kid. I do think that we will do a cookout at the end of the summer at our new house to give him a chance to see his friends and hopefully lure some of the new neighbors out so he make some new ones. I know DH will like that we can still have some type of party he loves big noisy crowd. Thank you again.