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Baby Showers
Mnerani
member
XP: Virtual baby shower- should I be embarrassed?
Mnerani
member
in Baby Showers
DH and I are Americans living in Africa and this baby is our first. If we were living in the States, I'd probably have at least 2 baby showers. I accept that we can't be close to friends and family right now, but I'll admit that it sucks buying EVERYthing yourself for your first kid (and the prices are WAY higher here). I did make a registry in case anyone wants to buy us a gift, for us to pick up the next time we are stateside (after the baby comes).The other day my older sister emailed me and said "send me the email addresses of everyone you'd want me to invite to a baby shower if I was throwing you one." She wouldn't tell me anything else, but my conclusion is that she is going to share my registry information with the list of people that I send her. She's a very classy person and has good taste, so I can imagine she's put some thought into the best way to do this, but at the end of the day, I feel embarrassed. Would you?
DH and I are Americans living an adventure in Kenya since 2011
DX: PCOS (annovulatory)
Feb 2012: IUI #1 w/ only 1M sperm and a single follie = BFP!
Nov 2012: Little buddy born in Kenya
Nov 2013: Trying for a second, still w PCOS
Dec 2013: IUI cycle canceled for non-response
Jan 2014: Break cycle BFP!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: XP: Virtual baby shower- should I be embarrassed?
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
I would be embarassed.
I would be embarrassed only if I was doing it... if someone else wants to "gather" your friends and family via email, skype, whatsapp - whatever I think the more the merrier!
My husband is form England, and moved to NY 6 years ago so we could be together. We have skyped into Christmas parties and do whatever we can to be close the those who are physically far away.
I think a virtual shower - thrown by someone else is fine!
So virtual showers are embarassing, but they are fine...???
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
By "but only if I was doing it," she means "only if I was the one hosting it." I believe she's saying that if someone other than the MTB is hosting, it's fine, in her opinion.
I couldn't agree more about the responsibility thing, and we have been very responsible about making sure we can afford a kid from 0 to age 18, but I still stand by my statement that not getting any gifts sucks! My qualm is about whether I feel sheepish about getting gifts without the requisite cupcakes and cheesy shower games.
Well, you certainly should. Again, if someone wants to get you something they will. Sending out the info makes you look very gift-grabby.
Is she going to still host a shower and then skype you in, or something along those lines? If that's the case, I think it's totally fine. I would imagine your family and close friends will be excited about the chance to celebrate with you and your circumstances obviously make it difficult for you to be in there in person. My shower at home (6 hour drive) is in a few weeks...due to some issues I had earlier in the pg, my Mom had shared that if I got put on bed rest, she was still going to have the shower and would skype me in.
If she is just sending out an email with the registry info; I would be a bit hesitant. Maybe see if you can press her for some more info of what she plans to do!
IVF #1-July 2011 7/9/11-Started Stims
7/20/11-ER:No eggs in 4/5 follicles. Left the 5th follie intact and converted to an IUI
8/3/11-Beta #1=BFN,
Nov, 2011 BFP #1=m/c at 7 wks 3 days
11/11-AMH .47, IVF #2 March 2012...or not!! Surprise BFP on 2/19. Beta #1=161. Beta #2 305 Our little miracle girl is on her way! Due Oct 29, 2012
<a href="http://s1207.photobucket.com/albums/bb461/andersenspics/?action=view
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
Yes, IMO I think if someone else is doing it can be a nice gesture. Of course it would need to be done in a tasteful way... "Let's Shower her with gifts from home" etc.
Here are a few ideas for your sister:
Have a party at home and Skype you in
Have a Google "Hangout" and everyone can be at their own homes but get together via a video conference
Send a goody bag/favor to everyone at home, along with a chocolate lolipop or cookie so they get a little taste of the shower
Send around some online survey/quizzes like shower games so everyone can play at home
I think the key is to make sure it is more than "here is the registry - everyone buy something" and make it some sort of "event." It's just my opinion.
OP, I know exactly what you meant when you said it sucks buying everything yourself (FYI, I'm in your exact shoes but a slightly different continent) but that's only because of the exorbitant amount of tackiness that abounds and makes it okay for the families to feel obligated to supply everything for baby #1.
Our prices over here for baby stuff are ridiculous too (and they sell nothing but drop side cribs *gasp*). You'll be fine. Your feelings about whether you should be embarrassed are what's referred to as "a gut feeling because you have ettiquette common sense".
Talk to your sister, tell her you're not gift grabby and if they want to contribute they will (they are adults with brains, afterall). Buy crazy, not up to U.S. standards African stuff and enjoy your tiny person.