Letter to new Yahoo! CEO

JoAnna914 · July 2012

pastalady:
Lurker here. I feel qualified to respond, even though I only work part time. I had to return to work 2.5 weeks pp, as I owned my own business and the landlord only let us close for that time. I was the chef at a food business, I had to work. It was hell, but I got through the first few weeks. I had a husband who took 9 months off after Dd was born to help. My employees were awesome. Would I ever do it again, no! It is why I listed my business for sale when DD was 4 weeks old. I knew I was missing too much. I sold it and was a SAHM for 2 years before going back part time. Everyone told me when I was pregnant but I didn't know until I had DD.

Also, it's kind of funny that people are talking about recovering from birth and breastfeeding. I am pretty sure she will have a CS by a top notch doctor (probably with a tummy tuck right after). I highly doubt she will be breastfeeding. Yes, she will be sore but she will have a team of nannies and night nurses. She will not be getting up for feedings while running a company. Money = not having to do the 2 am feeding lol! I don't judge her for that.

Holy projection/jumping to conclusions/judgmental, Batman. I'm curious as to how you have so much inside knowledge about this woman's plans and intentions. Sorry you found it so difficult - some women don't. I'm an attorney in the middle of developing my own practice; I function on three hours of sleep often. It's not that bad, but then again, I only slept five hours a night before I had kids. Stop projecting your experience onto others.

ETA: And to the posters who say that she isn't prepared for the "emotional" aspect of motherhood . . . do you think this woman is an idiot? OF COURSE any woman with two brain cells will know that she will be attached to this little baby, but MM knows she has responsibilities to attend to, and will suck it up. Just like the rest of us have.

sugarbear0524 · July 2012

pastalady:
Also, it's kind of funny that people are talking about recovering from birth and breastfeeding. I am pretty sure she will have a CS by a top notch doctor (probably with a tummy tuck right after).

Two things--

1. As someone who has had a CS, it is no picnic, even with help and a top notch doctor. I had a top notch doctor, a wonderful mom & MIL staying with me, and the world's most supportive husband. It's major abdominal surgery (not to mention the tummy tuck you're assuming she'll have). No getting around that. It takes time to get on your feet, even if all goes well.

2. Part of the recovery from birth is the hormone adjustment. It doesn't discriminate whether you're rich or poor, or whether you have help or not. It makes the first couple of weeks pretty emotionally charged.

kacelle · July 2012

sugarbear0524:
I think part of the point of the letter was to tell her than SHE doesn't know what her plans will be. Did any of us fully understand what being a first time mom would be like? Did all of our carefully made plans going accordingly? No way.
One thing I was completely unprepared for was the emotional impact. Can anyone make sound CEO level decisions in that state? I was crying over everything.
Of course, she may not be a sleep deprived zombie with a messy house and no food in the fridge. She will probably have someone else up all night with the baby, keeping the household running smoothly etc. I would have hired help, too, if that were feasible. As it was, I look back on the late night/early morning feedings, the sleep deprivation, and all the caring for the needy little baby that DS once was with fondness. I'm glad I went through it.
She will probably find, like many of us, that leaving that precious baby after a couple of weeks will be much more difficult than she realizes.

But see, this isn't true for everyone. I had one moment of crying at 2 weeks PP when DD wouldn't stop screaming, and all I wanted to do was get out of the house. I didn't cry the first day I dropped DD off at daycare; in fact, I never have cried leaving her. I love my daughter to death, but I need adult interaction and my job keeps me sane. I went back to work (granted, it was part-time) at 5 weeks PP and I would've gone back much earlier if my boss had let me.

Spenjamins · July 2012

pastalady:
Lurker here. I feel qualified to respond, even though I only work part time. I had to return to work 2.5 weeks pp, as I owned my own business and the landlord only let us close for that time. I was the chef at a food business, I had to work. It was hell, but I got through the first few weeks. I had a husband who took 9 months off after Dd was born to help. My employees were awesome. Would I ever do it again, no! It is why I listed my business for sale when DD was 4 weeks old. I knew I was missing too much. I sold it and was a SAHM for 2 years before going back part time. Everyone told me when I was pregnant but I didn't know until I had DD.

Also, it's kind of funny that people are talking about recovering from birth and breastfeeding. I am pretty sure she will have a CS by a top notch doctor (probably with a tummy tuck right after). I highly doubt she will be breastfeeding. Yes, she will be sore but she will have a team of nannies and night nurses. She will not be getting up for feedings while running a company. Money = not having to do the 2 am feeding lol! I don't judge her for that.

WTF?

sugarbear0524 · July 2012

kacelle:
sugarbear0524:

But see, this isn't true for everyone. I had one moment of crying at 2 weeks PP when DD wouldn't stop screaming, and all I wanted to do was get out of the house. I didn't cry the first day I dropped DD off at daycare; in fact, I never have cried leaving her. I love my daughter to death, but I need adult interaction and my job keeps me sane. I went back to work (granted, it was part-time) at 5 weeks PP and I would've gone back much earlier if my boss had let me.

You're right, this isn't true for everyone. My point is, you don't know until you're in the situation. I didn't think I would be near as emotional and hormonal as I was. This CEO doesn't know how she'll react, either.

ridesbuttons · July 2012

As a Canadian, I am continually dismayed by the lack of pushback by American women and families for better/more realistic mat leave policies.

As a business owner (small business) I can tell you that I have never spent more than two weeks away from my business. I came into work once a week starting from 1 week after my kids were born. DS2 came to work with me every day starting at 7 days old. My days were different, but I certainly didn't take a traditional leave. I breastfed, I bonded.

People deal. She may not know what she's in store for vis a vis her body and the baby, but she knows what she needs to do in her job with Yahoo. Those who criticize should look for a more productive angle.

LuluP82 · July 2012

Good Lord, I worked through my maternity leave. I'm sure a million other women to do, too. I had conference calls and answered emails. I didn't go into the office every day, but I worked. And I had a complicated birth (extremely long med-free labor including 4+ hours of pushing that led to an unplanned c-section) and recovery. My dr didn't need to clear me to have conference calls and/or answer emails. My dr didn't need to clear me to make decisions about my company. I was answering emails from the hospital-- it wasn't the end of the world. I love my son, I'm VERY bonded to him and attached. I EBF.

The letter is ridiculous, and the assumptions being made are ridiculous. And sexist. This "open letter" reminds me of when I was pregnant and one of my husband's co-workers, whose wife was also pregnant and a SAH wife (now SAHM), asked me when I was going to quit my job. I asked him if he was planning to quit his job when his baby was born.

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