Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
JessAnnJ
member
Re: Does anyone see a problem with the initials BJ?
I don't think most people think of initials when you are in school, unless it turned into a nickname. But then again I like the name Mackenzie and our last name starts with a M and I think that MM is off initials to have too.... but I am not crossing the name off the list just for a little reason like that.
My 4 Angel Babies.....
MC#1- 12/2008, MC#2- 05/2009, MC#3 07/2009, MC#4 11/2009
Training to become an IBCLC. BF Questions? Just ask!
I'm a teacher, and my maiden name was 'Hammers.'
Bad idea.
My new last name starts with BJ. (J is silent though.)
I would lying if I said I did not hear inappropriate comments from middle school and high school students about my name on a regular basis.
I would honestly avoid it, if I could.
3/12 150mg Clomid + B2B IUI =BFP!! TWINS!
Vanishing twin at week 6
Tater-tot born January 3rd 2013
2 IUI's in 2016- BFN
3 IUI's in 2017- BFN
8/17 IUI BFP!!!!!!!!
I'm glad I'm not alone in this. I have a name that was easy for people to make fun of - I know they'll find something anyway but it really sucked for a while. I would avoid it if at all possible.
BFP Apr 2012, EDD Dec 19 2012 * twin h/b at 6wk, 9wk scan * Baby A lost at 12wks
Baby B was my rainbow born at 36wks on Nov 27 2012
If it was just for a first name and last name, I would probably be fine with it..like Brooke Johnson. But if it was a first name and middle name, like Brian James, I avoid it like the plague because of the whole blow job thing.
BFP#2 ~ 8/2/11, EDD 4/11/12, D&C 9/12/11 at 9w5d
BFP#3 ~ 4/15/12, EDD 12/21/12 ~ DD born 12/22/12
Those are H's initials and he turned out ok
It would be Blake Johnson. We haven't talked about middle names yet.
This.
If you have no real tie to the name Blake then why risk it. You'll feel really bad if your kid gets teased over something you chose. I know I've heard people called BJ but I still wouldn't want to think of blowies when talking to my kid!
I agree with these posts. I would avoid it.
Me too. There is a restaurant at our mall called BJ's something or other and DH and I can't drive by without laughing like 15 year olds. Yes, we are so immature.
#1 BFP 1/10/11; missed m/c discovered 7w5d
IF Dx: Endo, hetero MTHFR mutation, poor morphology
#1 IUI: 1/18/12 = BFN
#1 IVF/ICSI 4/2/12 = 2 x 7-cell and 1 x 5-cell transferred (3dt) = BFP!!
H was born at 41w2d on 12/29/12 - be still my heart!
#2 IVF/ICSI 1/19/14 = 2 x 8 cells transferred (3dt) = BFP!! EDD 10/09/14
M&W born at 37 weeks on 9/18/14 - I am the momma of 3 boys!!!
My brother is 27 and his Initials are BJH and for most of his life he has been BJ it isn't a big deal I mean yeah there may be a few people who say something but not everyone goes right to that if you know what I mean. He is also a junior so it was easier for my mom to call him BJ. As he has gotten old her mainly goes by his name .
So true!
That is where I would draw a line; just like I had a difficult time calling on a student named Dung (such a nice young lady, went with her last name instead). Had a classmate named Richard Horney (he got teased by our biology teacher for his name). College roomamte would laugh at anyone called "CC" because evidently it is the word for poop in Chinese (the noun, not the verb). MIL got made fun of for her last name that sounds like Gold-bra, and her initials BAG; include the middle initial in everything so instead of BJ it's B_J (or use the middle initial towards the nickname. Even my 6th graders started giggling this year whenever the restaurant chain / brew house, BJ's, is mentioned.
Needless to say, there will always be something for the not nice people to tease/make fun of, but we do have some abilities in lessening the potential along the way for our kids & he will also have the ability to lessen it depending upon how he reacts.
i dont really see it as a problem. kids are mean and those "bj" jokes wont stat until about middle school....
its inevitable that kids are going to make fun of each other... NO ONE gets by without being teased for SOMETHING these days. its just how it is.
as long as you teach your son a good sense of humor and not to take things other people say to heart, he'll be just fine.
He will probably be teased, my cousin's initials were BJ and they teased him for it. But honestly, kids tease for everything. I was teased for being skinny/a virgin/ a dork/etc.
This is kinda like "pick your poison" if you love the name,use it. If they don't tease for that, they'll find something else.nKids are pretty bastardly in school
Labor Buddy to Blowfish11
Agreed!
My roommate in college had the initials of BJ if you went by her shortened name which everyone did (Rebecca, but everyone called her Becky). Anyway, we teased her about it, but good-heartedly. She thought it was funny too, no one ever seriously teased her about it at any point in her educational career.
I like this idea!
Thanks everyone. It is interesting to read the different opinions. We may have a girl at which point the issue will be moot, but this is a boy name we love. I can't explain why, but it is hard to imagine picking another one. Then the whole initial thing popped into my head and we have been debating the issue. Will most likely stick with the name.
We are lost in terms of girl names.
PS - My middle name is Ann and in junior high I would be teased and guys would say Ann's the man. That doesnt even make sense. I was teased for other things as well. As people have said kids will always find a way to tease other kids.