Ok, I have to ask...Dry nursing?

LILBIT1221 · July 2012

Can someone please elaborate on this? Not judging, just curious.

SarahJean0 · July 2012

I saw that too...also wondering and might be judging.

LILBIT1221 · July 2012

mrssqueegy:

At one of my La Leche League meetings, I met a lesbian couple. The bio mom breastfed and the non-bio mom took some meds and relactated and breastfed a while. Her supply eventually dried up but she continue to dry nurse her daughter for comfort and if the bio mom couldn't feed her right away and she was fussing.

That's all the experience I have with it.

so basically, you are a human binky?

damabo80 · July 2012

Nursing with little to no milk supply. I'm dry nursing DD right now. When I hit 2nd Tri, my milk dried up within a week. DD never did take a binky, so she continued to "nurse" for comfort to go to sleep.

I want to bf her until she's two (per WHO guidelines). She's only one now. I plan on tandem nursing, so I don't think there will be any issue in getting her back on the breast in Sept once the milk comes back, since she still dry nurses before naps.

freeatlast2014 · July 2012

mrssqueegy:
At one of my La Leche League meetings, I met a lesbian couple. The bio mom breastfed and the non-bio mom took some meds and relactated and breastfed a while. Her supply eventually dried up but she continue to dry nurse her daughter for comfort and if the bio mom couldn't feed her right away and she was fussing.
That's all the experience I have with it.

I wonder if DH could do this for me on those nights I just want to sleep!

I can't believe she gave her kid her nipple knowing nothing would come out just to pacify the child. That sounds horrible to do to a kid.

freeatlast2014 · July 2012

damabo80:
Nursing with little to no milk supply. I'm dry nursing DD right now. When I hit 2nd Tri, my milk dried up within a week. DD never did take a binky, so she continued to "nurse" for comfort to go to sleep.
I want to bf her until she's two (per WHO guidelines). She's only one now. I plan on tandem nursing, so I don't think there will be any issue in getting her back on the breast in Sept once the milk comes back, since she still dry nurses before naps.

I can see if it's something that happens as you are drying up...and you both are working on weaning. It also seems natural to try to continue to stimulate your breasts to hopefully even get the milk flowing again...

but as a long term thing? I guess I just don't get it.

terri_doula2010 · July 2012

LILBIT1221:
so basically, you are a human binky?

Anyone who nurses is sometimes a human binky, whether they are still producing milk or not. I don't think it is a big deal.

I haven't read whatever this is in reference to, but here is our story:

We officially weaned back in May, but DS still remembers nursing. At the point we officially stopped I think I was already dry nursing...I'm sure I have to have colostrum in there somewhere but I don't see signs of it. Every once in a while (maybe once a week...it depends on if he is sick, hurt, etc), DS will ask to nurse again. I've explained to him that it is very owie to me and he has to be very careful, so he doesn't even latch on, he just sits there still with my nipple in his mouth for a few seconds, then he feels better. He is used to it being this big comfort/bonding thing between us, and I think it is nice that the need/want is going away so gradually and led mostly by him (though I'm the one who stopped the once every day or so nursing session in May).

Do I think I'll be doing this in a year? or when he is a teenager? No I really doubt it. Do I think it is developmentally appropriate for his age and completely fine? Yep.

Everyone's situation is different and each parent has to decide what is best for their family.

damabo80 · July 2012

MrsLynnyD:
damabo80:
Nursing with little to no milk supply. I'm dry nursing DD right now. When I hit 2nd Tri, my milk dried up within a week. DD never did take a binky, so she continued to "nurse" for comfort to go to sleep.
I want to bf her until she's two (per WHO guidelines). She's only one now. I plan on tandem nursing, so I don't think there will be any issue in getting her back on the breast in Sept once the milk comes back, since she still dry nurses before naps.
I can see if it's something that happens as you are drying up...and you both are working on weaning. It also seems natural to try to continue to stimulate your breasts to hopefully even get the milk flowing again...
but as a long term thing? I guess I just don't get it.

Define "long term"?

In my case, it has additional health benefits. At some point (usually in 3rd Tri), she'll start getting colostrum. For some women, this happens in 2nd. Colostrum is beneficial to not only a NB but a baby/toddler as well.

Id rather dry nurse for a couple months, knowing it will pay dividends later when she gets BM until the age of 2.

I'm surprised you think this is a "horrible thing to do to a baby". Most LCs and pedis would disagree with you.

LILBIT1221 · July 2012

terri_doula2010:

LILBIT1221:
so basically, you are a human binky?

Anyone who nurses is sometimes a human binky, whether they are still producing milk or not. I don't think it is a big deal.

I haven't read whatever this is in reference to, but here is our story:

We officially weaned back in May, but DS still remembers nursing. At the point we officially stopped I think I was already dry nursing...I'm sure I have to have colostrum in there somewhere but I don't see signs of it. Every once in a while (maybe once a week...it depends on if he is sick, hurt, etc), DS will ask to nurse again. I've explained to him that it is very owie to me and he has to be very careful, so he doesn't even latch on, he just sits there still with my nipple in his mouth for a few seconds, then he feels better. He is used to it being this big comfort/bonding thing between us, and I think it is nice that the need/want is going away so gradually and led mostly by him (though I'm the one who stopped the once every day or so nursing session in May).

Do I think I'll be doing this in a year? or when he is a teenager? No I really doubt it. Do I think it is developmentally appropriate for his age and completely fine? Yep.

Everyone's situation is different and each parent has to decide what is best for their family.

like I said, I am not judging at all, I had just never heard of this. I have been a binky, I get that, I just didn't realize mother's did this. me=sheltered.

LILBIT1221 · July 2012

OK, so my next question is how are you supplementing? Are you using pumped BM, formula, WCM?

damabo80 · July 2012

LILBIT1221:
OK, so my next question is how are you supplementing? Are you using pumped BM, formula, WCM?

All my frozen milk is gone, so I supplemented with formula and people food (with a bit of WCM here and there...we have severe lactose intolerance on both sides of the family, so I try to keep WCM to a minimum and instead do things like cheese and butter for calcium and fat).

I anticipate that once my milk comes back in Sept, we'll continue the same schedule of nursing a couple times a day (wake-up, before sleep, when she falls and bumps her head).

terri_doula2010 · July 2012

damabo80:
Define "long term"?
In my case, it has additional health benefits. At some point (usually in 3rd Tri), she'll start getting colostrum. For some women, this happens in 2nd. Colostrum is beneficial to not only a NB but a baby/toddler as well.
Id rather dry nurse for a couple months, knowing it will pay dividends later when she gets BM until the age of 2.
I'm surprised you think this is a "horrible thing to do to a baby". Most LCs and pedis would disagree with you.

Great for you!! If not for the fact that my son turned 2 in April (which was the low end of stopping for me), I'd be doing the same as you! With DS being sick this last week i've really been lamenting the lack of breastfeeding/colostrum to help him get over it faster, and I don't think it is any coincidence that this is by far the sickest he has been in over a year!

LILBIT1221 · July 2012

damabo80:

LILBIT1221:
OK, so my next question is how are you supplementing? Are you using pumped BM, formula, WCM?

All my frozen milk is gone, so I supplemented with formula and people food (with a bit of WCM here and there...we have severe lactose intolerance on both sides of the family, so I try to keep WCM to a minimum and instead do things like cheese and butter for calcium and fat).

I anticipate that once my milk comes back in Sept, we'll continue the same schedule of nursing a couple times a day (wake-up, before sleep, when she falls and bumps her head).

gotcha.

terri_doula2010 · July 2012

LILBIT1221:
OK, so my next question is how are you supplementing? Are you using pumped BM, formula, WCM?

I started giving DS almond/soy/coconut milks when he was 11.5 months old (I had no supply at all). He has had some on most days in addition to nursing, but since my milk started going away in 1st tri he started getting more each day to make sure to keep up his calcium, etc supplies. Since then he gets "milk" in the morning, evening, and whenever he asks for it.

damabo80 · July 2012

terri_doula2010:
damabo80:
Define "long term"?
In my case, it has additional health benefits. At some point (usually in 3rd Tri), she'll start getting colostrum. For some women, this happens in 2nd. Colostrum is beneficial to not only a NB but a baby/toddler as well.
Id rather dry nurse for a couple months, knowing it will pay dividends later when she gets BM until the age of 2.
I'm surprised you think this is a "horrible thing to do to a baby". Most LCs and pedis would disagree with you.
Great for you!! If not for the fact that my son turned 2 in April (which was the low end of stopping for me), I'd be doing the same as you! With DS being sick this last week i've really been lamenting the lack of breastfeeding/colostrum to help him get over it faster, and I don't think it is any coincidence that this is by far the sickest he has been in over a year!

Thanks!

I hear a swallow every now and again, so I think she's getting some colostrum. Two weeks ago, both DH and I got a really bad cold (I'm still hacking up a lung as I type). DD got a runny nose for two days and that was it. I know she hasn't had this virus before (she's only had one other cold so far in her life, and I didn't catch it then), so she should have gotten sick from it.

freeatlast2014 · July 2012

damabo80:
MrsLynnyD:
damabo80:
Nursing with little to no milk supply. I'm dry nursing DD right now. When I hit 2nd Tri, my milk dried up within a week. DD never did take a binky, so she continued to "nurse" for comfort to go to sleep.
I want to bf her until she's two (per WHO guidelines). She's only one now. I plan on tandem nursing, so I don't think there will be any issue in getting her back on the breast in Sept once the milk comes back, since she still dry nurses before naps.
I can see if it's something that happens as you are drying up...and you both are working on weaning. It also seems natural to try to continue to stimulate your breasts to hopefully even get the milk flowing again...
but as a long term thing? I guess I just don't get it.
Define "long term"?
In my case, it has additional health benefits. At some point (usually in 3rd Tri), she'll start getting colostrum. For some women, this happens in 2nd. Colostrum is beneficial to not only a NB but a baby/toddler as well.
Id rather dry nurse for a couple months, knowing it will pay dividends later when she gets BM until the age of 2.
I'm surprised you think this is a "horrible thing to do to a baby". Most LCs and pedis would disagree with you.

I don't see a woman who was not pregnant and is not getting pregnant, as in the example given, as being the same as a mother who knows she will be producing colostrum and milk in the near future as the same thing.

The mother who knows there is no milk to be had, and will not be had again, continuing to allow her child to use her nipple is something that just doesn't make sense to me.

I guess the line "horrible to do to a kid" was a bit harsh, as from yours and terri's posts I see how this can be completely natural and beneficial.

tlew12778 · July 2012

This is one of those things that I think is hard to truly understand until you are nursing.

When a child nurses, they release endorphins. This is why many children comfort nurse if they are hurt, ill, whatever. It's also a time that the child feels belongs to child-mother. For my DD it's our alone time without any other distractions. Considering I work FT, this is really important for her.

If I had dried up this pregnancy, I absolutely would have dry nursed her if she wanted it. I never lost my milk so it hasn't been an issue. I will also say that I am grateful for the colostrum bc it completely resolved her constipation issue that she has had since she was 3m old.

GR8TDANEMOM · July 2012

I'm sure my views will change when I actually have a baby and am nursing, but I'm freaked out about nursing. This is probably flame worthy but Nursing to feed my child doesn't freak me out, but my child playing with my nipple or nursing for fun when they aren't hungry weirds me out because nipples are a very sexual thing for me. My husband sucks my nipples for fun and it's one of my biggest turn ons. I can't imagine letting my husband play with my nipples when my kid just did 20 minutes ago. I just hope natural instinct comes in and I can seperated the two. Someone tell me I'm not alone in feeling this way.

freeatlast2014 · July 2012

GR8TDANEMOM:
I'm sure my views will change when I actually have a baby and am nursing, but I'm freaked out about nursing. This is probably flame worthy but Nursing to feed my child doesn't freak me out, but my child playing with my nipple or nursing for fun when they aren't hungry weirds me out because nipples are a very sexual thing for me. My husband sucks my nipples for fun and it's one of my biggest turn ons. I can't imagine letting my husband play with my nipples when my kid just did 20 minutes ago. I just hope natural instinct comes in and I can seperated the two. Someone tell me I'm not alone in feeling this way.

For me, they were very sexual and a turn on too...I'm sad to say this is no longer. I cringe when DH touches them now. I hope once I'm done baby making (this will be my last most likely) and BF I can change my mentality.

While BF they will/may leak when you do anything sexual if they get stimulated.

damabo80 · July 2012

GR8TDANEMOM:
I'm sure my views will change when I actually have a baby and am nursing, but I'm freaked out about nursing. This is probably flame worthy but Nursing to feed my child doesn't freak me out, but my child playing with my nipple or nursing for fun when they aren't hungry weirds me out because nipples are a very sexual thing for me. My husband sucks my nipples for fun and it's one of my biggest turn ons. I can't imagine letting my husband play with my nipples when my kid just did 20 minutes ago. I just hope natural instinct comes in and I can seperated the two. Someone tell me I'm not alone in feeling this way.

Regarding nursing to feed and nursing for comfort...sometimes it's hard to tell the difference. During a nursing session, the baby will start out with shallow "comfort" sucks to get the milk flowing, and then do long hard sucks to drink. The long hard sucks can last for 10 minutes, or 30 seconds before the baby goes back to shallow comfort sucks. A nursing session will continually bounce back and forth between the two. ESP in the early days.

And yes, you'll separate the two in your head. It just happens. For the same reason how you can hug a friend or hug your DH and they are very different hugs.

But, unless your dh wants a mouthful of milk, he should probably stay away from the boobs while you are lactating, unless it's right after a pump/feed.

The hormones that are generated during bfing pretty much make sex sound very unappealing. Until my milk dried up, I was ready to check into a nunnery. Now, it's Marvin Gaye all the time.

GR8TDANEMOM · July 2012

damabo80:
GR8TDANEMOM:
I'm sure my views will change when I actually have a baby and am nursing, but I'm freaked out about nursing. This is probably flame worthy but Nursing to feed my child doesn't freak me out, but my child playing with my nipple or nursing for fun when they aren't hungry weirds me out because nipples are a very sexual thing for me. My husband sucks my nipples for fun and it's one of my biggest turn ons. I can't imagine letting my husband play with my nipples when my kid just did 20 minutes ago. I just hope natural instinct comes in and I can seperated the two. Someone tell me I'm not alone in feeling this way.
Regarding nursing to feed and nursing for comfort...sometimes it's hard to tell the difference. During a nursing session, the baby will start out with shallow "comfort" sucks to get the milk flowing, and then do long hard sucks to drink. The long hard sucks can last for 10 minutes, or 30 seconds before the baby goes back to shallow comfort sucks. A nursing session will continually bounce back and forth between the two. ESP in the early days.
And yes, you'll separate the two in your head. It just happens. For the same reason how you can hug a friend or hug your DH and they are very different hugs.
But, unless your dh wants a mouthful of milk, he should probably stay away from the boobs while you are lactating, unless it's right after a pump/feed.
The hormones that are generated during bfing pretty much make sex sound very unappealing. Until my milk dried up, I was ready to check into a nunnery. Now, it's Marvin Gaye all the time.

i wasn't planning on him playing with my boobs for a long time. Poor DH has been boob banned for my whole pregnancy. You give me some hope that I will want sex again one day.

ifwisheswerefishes · July 2012

GR8TDANEMOM:
damabo80:
GR8TDANEMOM:
I'm sure my views will change when I actually have a baby and am nursing, but I'm freaked out about nursing. This is probably flame worthy but Nursing to feed my child doesn't freak me out, but my child playing with my nipple or nursing for fun when they aren't hungry weirds me out because nipples are a very sexual thing for me. My husband sucks my nipples for fun and it's one of my biggest turn ons. I can't imagine letting my husband play with my nipples when my kid just did 20 minutes ago. I just hope natural instinct comes in and I can seperated the two. Someone tell me I'm not alone in feeling this way.
Regarding nursing to feed and nursing for comfort...sometimes it's hard to tell the difference. During a nursing session, the baby will start out with shallow "comfort" sucks to get the milk flowing, and then do long hard sucks to drink. The long hard sucks can last for 10 minutes, or 30 seconds before the baby goes back to shallow comfort sucks. A nursing session will continually bounce back and forth between the two. ESP in the early days.
And yes, you'll separate the two in your head. It just happens. For the same reason how you can hug a friend or hug your DH and they are very different hugs.
But, unless your dh wants a mouthful of milk, he should probably stay away from the boobs while you are lactating, unless it's right after a pump/feed.
The hormones that are generated during bfing pretty much make sex sound very unappealing. Until my milk dried up, I was ready to check into a nunnery. Now, it's Marvin Gaye all the time.
i wasn't planning on him playing with my boobs for a long time. Poor DH has been boob banned for my whole pregnancy. You give me some hope that I will want sex again one day.

this gave me some hope too. i feel so awful, but DH is SUCH a breast man. and they have been so sore and so uncomfortable that i can't barely let him touch them in a caress, let alone for any sort of sexual play. and this used to be one of my biggest turn-ons, too. the poor guy is just going crazy, and i was really worried about breastfeeding. but this is making me feel SO much better!

completely unrelated, but thank you.

terri_doula2010 · July 2012

GR8TDANEMOM:
I'm sure my views will change when I actually have a baby and am nursing, but I'm freaked out about nursing. This is probably flame worthy but Nursing to feed my child doesn't freak me out, but my child playing with my nipple or nursing for fun when they aren't hungry weirds me out because nipples are a very sexual thing for me. My husband sucks my nipples for fun and it's one of my biggest turn ons. I can't imagine letting my husband play with my nipples when my kid just did 20 minutes ago. I just hope natural instinct comes in and I can seperated the two. Someone tell me I'm not alone in feeling this way.

I don't find this at all flame-worthy. It is normal to feel that way and the whole thing was really strange to me as well before I did it...especially since my boobs have always equaled sex to me too. You will get used to it and think back on this and it will all make sense. For a long time I was totally fine with DH playing as much as he wanted to even after nursing 20 minutes ago (or whenever) the two acts are SO DIFFERENT and the sensations of the two are SO DIFFERENT. Even your H sucking on your nipple. Totally different thing, I assure you.

Eventually as DS got older, my boobs got more tired and I started restricting H's play. He always understood and adjusted. DS getting what he needs from my boobs is far more important to both of us. Since S slowed down and stopped, my nipples have become H-friendly again, which has pleased both of us. We both know it is a temporary thing, but that it will come back again eventually.

Oh, and a baby playing with your nipple? It won't bother you at all most likely. For a long time (probably 5-10 months old...that area) DS would be nursing one side and playing with the other nipple out of comfort. They are his toys, his attachments. It is all normal and healthy and becomes second nature to mamas.

damabo80 · July 2012

terri_doula2010:
GR8TDANEMOM:
I'm sure my views will change when I actually have a baby and am nursing, but I'm freaked out about nursing. This is probably flame worthy but Nursing to feed my child doesn't freak me out, but my child playing with my nipple or nursing for fun when they aren't hungry weirds me out because nipples are a very sexual thing for me. My husband sucks my nipples for fun and it's one of my biggest turn ons. I can't imagine letting my husband play with my nipples when my kid just did 20 minutes ago. I just hope natural instinct comes in and I can seperated the two. Someone tell me I'm not alone in feeling this way.

I don't find this at all flame-worthy. It is normal to feel that way and the whole thing was really strange to me as well before I did it...especially since my boobs have always equaled sex to me too. You will get used to it and think back on this and it will all make sense. For a long time I was totally fine with DH playing as much as he wanted to even after nursing 20 minutes ago (or whenever) the two acts are SO DIFFERENT and the sensations of the two are SO DIFFERENT. Even your H sucking on your nipple. Totally different thing, I assure you.
Eventually as DS got older, my boobs got more tired and I started restricting H's play. He always understood and adjusted. DS getting what he needs from my boobs is far more important to both of us. Since S slowed down and stopped, my nipples have become H-friendly again, which has pleased both of us. We both know it is a temporary thing, but that it will come back again eventually.
Oh, and a baby playing with your nipple? It won't bother you at all most likely. For a long time (probably 5-10 months old...that area) DS would be nursing one side and playing with the other nipple out of comfort. They are his toys, his attachments. It is all normal and healthy and becomes second nature to mamas.

Regarding the playing with the nipple bit- each kid is different on this. I pretty much always wore a nursing tank, so only one boob was exposed at a time. Mainly because I leaked from the opposite nipple, so I needed something to hold the pad/shield in place on the other boob.

So for that reason, DD never manually played with my nipple until very recently. Now, she'll pop off, reach up and give me a titty twister. Not cool. I tell her no, and set her down facing away from me when she does that.

Instrad of playing with my nip before she would like to roundhouse kick me to the throat.

bosha711 · July 2012

Interesting. I was wondering, too.

I was still weaning DS when my supply dried up at 14 months b/c I was pg again. He was PISSED that nothing came out, he certainly wasn't comforted, lol. He was biting soo hard, so that was the end of it. He never took binkies, either.

JessicaxLynn87 · July 2012

GR8TDANEMOM:
I'm sure my views will change when I actually have a baby and am nursing, but I'm freaked out about nursing. This is probably flame worthy but Nursing to feed my child doesn't freak me out, but my child playing with my nipple or nursing for fun when they aren't hungry weirds me out because nipples are a very sexual thing for me. My husband sucks my nipples for fun and it's one of my biggest turn ons. I can't imagine letting my husband play with my nipples when my kid just did 20 minutes ago. I just hope natural instinct comes in and I can seperated the two. Someone tell me I'm not alone in feeling this way.

Thank you for being brave enough to admit this. I feel the exact same way, and was actually just discussing it with my husband earlier.

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Ok, I have to ask...Dry nursing?

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