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One week angelversary. :( (vent)

dandywarholdandywarhol member
in Late Term and Child Loss

It was just about this time last Sunday when I went in to the OR for the delivery/D&C for my little one. We found out around 5pm on Sunday that the baby had died a few days earlier.I can remember looking at the clock at 7:20pm as I was being wheeled into the OR and thinking here we go again.  :(

This week has been ok. DH and I have been trying to keep busy. I am glad that I took the entire week off from work and have been able to relax and spend time with DH. All today I've had a pretty bad headache and I'm sure it is related to the stress, sadness, and anxiety resulting from the loss.

I'm struggling with jealousy for all the other people in the world who seem to be pregnant. Every tv show/movie I turn on seems to have a pregnant woman in it, every book I pick up to try to distract myself seems to involve some type of pregnancy. Everyone on FB seems to be pregnant or posting photos of their newborn. I don't want any of these women to experience a loss but I am very angry and jealous that I am not and can't seem to be one of these women. 

We don't see my OB/GYN until July 25th and  most likely at that appt. he'll recommend some type of testing so I'm not sure if/when we'll be able to find out about the possibility of TTCAL. 

I've you've made it this far I'd offer you some brownies that I made last night, but I've eaten most of them.  :( 

 

BFP #1 - Missed M/C, D&C 3.21.11

BFP #2 - Sylvie V. Q. born and died on 10.28.11 at 21w. Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

BFP #3 - Evie V. Q. Fetal demise @ 16w. DC 7.8.12
Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

BFP  #4 - Beatrix V. Q. Born 6.2.13 at 23w6d.
image

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Re: One week angelversary. :( (vent)

  • ally2011ally2011 member

    I am just so incredibly sorry that you are having to go through this again.  I full well know that there are no words that will help or make it better, but please know that we are all here for you.

    If you didn't read them last time, I do recommend the books Grieving the Child I Never Knew, Empty Cradle Broken Heart, The One year Book of Hope and Good Grief (by Westberg).  They helped me put words and sanity to what I was feeling and helped me realize I was not crazy and that others had been there.  I felt a lot less lonely.

    Hugs,

    Jenn 

    We are so thankful that our second daughter, Lillian Elizabeth "Lily", was born healthy and happy on February 11, 2013.  We love her to pieces.  

    We lost our first daughter, Hannah Grace on May 4, 2011.  She was buried on May 14 during a beautiful service at my home church. We are grateful that if she could not be here with us, that she is healed and whole with the Lord. We look forward to the day when we will get to meet her. We love her so much.


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  • jbranden12jbranden12 member
    I'm so sorry. I think we all understand about not wanting other women to experience losses, but feeling angry and envious that it is so easy for some people to get what we want so desperately.


      Our Angel Patricia born sleeping 3/30/12 at 31 weeks
    Our Fighter Anna born early 1/8/13 at 26 weeks
    Hoping to bring home #3 due 9/9/15
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  • littleMissMeggerslittleMissMeggers
    I'm so sorry for your loss and I can relate to feeling envious of women who are preggers. I would never wish this type of pain on anyone, but it's just so hard to see women who are so carefree and pregnant.   
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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  • HeatherhahHeatherhah member

    I'm so sorry!! I wish there was something I could say to ease your pain!! Hugs!!!

    DS- Brenden born 11/13/93 Missed miscarriage on March 6, 2007 @ 9 weeks D&C on March 8th 2007. Riley Annalise born 2/25/08 ( 3 weeks early weighing 8 lbs 12.8 oz.) Chemical pregnancy 3/2010. Sydney Adriana born sleeping on 9/30/11 weighing 10lbs 3 oz at 38wks 4 days. Trinity Alivia born via c section at 36 wks 4 days weighing 9 lbs. 5.7 oz. She is our amazing rainbow baby!!! Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers PGAL buddy drvst8
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