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PurpleDrewbie5
member
Do not touch my kid!-Grocery store Nightmare
PurpleDrewbie5
member
I don't post too often but I had to share this experience.
I needed to pick up a few groceries so last night my daughter and I ran to the store. I used to work at customer service at this particular store and after checking out I stopped to chat with one of the managers.
As we are chatting this lady, who I later recognized as one of the people who come in returning dirty cans and bottles to buy beer and scratch offs, comes behind me starts touching my 9.5month old daughter. To give you a visual, this lady is about 5feet tall, heavy set, looks Puerto Rican, has no teeth other than two blackened bottom front teeth, is wearing a baggy shirt with NO BRA, (nipples showing) and speaks, I will describe it as, mushy broken English. Not only does she touch my daughter she starts rubbing her chest.
I say quickly, "you can look but please don't touch." She doesn't remove her hand. I take her hand and remove it for her while saying "please don't touch". She is still reaching for my daughter and I turn and loudly say "Do not touch!" She says something like "it's okay I had kids once too." I should mention that even though she does not speak well, she understands English just fine. She was just ignoring me.
Then she gets down to my daughter's eye level (DD is buckled in the front of the cart) and starts blowing raspberries. I see spittle flying from her lips. I push the cart backwards and step in between her while my manager friend, who is Haitian, very blunt and speaks with a mild accent as well, tells the lady "you just go home. You get out of here."
The store is not really very big and only about three lanes were open but by this time we were being watched by every checker, sacker, and customer. As the lady turned to go the manager grabbed the hand sanitizer and handed it to me.
I am pretty sure every ounce of politeness and charm left me in that moment.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Do not touch my kid!-Grocery store Nightmare
I HATE when even super clean people touch my child. You don't know me...DON'T touch my child. I also HATE when people say things like "I had children"....just because YOU had children doesn't give you the green light with mine.
I'm shocked how many times I've gone through similar situations with my 6 month old. Totally shocked. I would NEVER think to touch someone else's child. It's like children are open invites to certain people. I just wish those people knew how freakin creepy they are.
Wow, you are nice. If that woman would have touched my kid after I told her to back off, I would have punched her. I'm also a NYer, so there would have been obscenities flying loudly.
I second the notion that just because someone has kids too, doesn't make it ok for them to do anything to my kid. I was in Costco last month entering the dairy section, which was very cold. My LO was in the cart and a lady started saying "No, no you can't bring him in there it's too cold." (I was literally in there for 10 seconds to get milk.)
I said to her, "Well, I'm certainly not leaving him outside the section by himself in a cart." She said "Leave him with me." I was like, "No." She said, "no, no I have kids, too."
What was she crazy? Who in their right mind would leave their kid with a stranger in a store because it was a little cold? Really?!
I am trying to give you a better visual of the whole incident.
I thought that someone might think she was a little slow. I probably should have mentioned that she's not slow. She was just stubbornly not listening.
OMG. I can't believe this.
OMG. I can't believe this. The idea that anyone would leave your child with a random stranger is beyond me.
Why is this relevant?
No, people shouldn't touch your kid, but you are not sounding so great yourself here.
Not trying to sound rude or anything. After re-reading my OP, I can see how it may have come across that way and I apologize. I was very detailed in the post as I was trying to give the readers a visual. I find that I understand things better with more details. I do apologize, I am sure I could have found a better way to make the OP visual.
That's beyond annoying, I don't understand why anyone thinks they have a right to touch someone else's baby.
I don't think the details given are that odd. I think anyone who claims they wouldn't make a single judgement about this woman based on her appearance is lying or kidding themselves.
DD (5 years old) from IUI in 2012
TTC 3rd and final!: IUI #1 in progress!
Yeah, I wondered this too. You didn't need to mention the races of everyone to tell your story.
LOL but her descriptions were only looks-based, I was describing how those parents weren't the brightest, it had nothing to do with their looks or race.
I think everyone judges, just most people are too PC/scared/uptight to admit it.
Exactly this. No one should touch a kid that they don't know, but I bet if it was a well-dressed, beautiful woman with all of her teeth, the OP wouldn't have been nearly as upset. We all judge people based on their looks, whether we want to admit it or not.
Well IMO there's a difference if the person touching my kid looks like a decent person or if they look like a homeless ex-crackhead.
I grew up in a crappy neighborhood-ghetto as some would say and was surrounded by the not-so-fortunate as i call them, I know that might sound mean but I dealt with it first hand and now i go broke every month making sure my kids have a better place to live then where I grew up.
I think all the OP did was try to piant the picture for us and I would imagine not everyone would be so pleased to have someone of that nature all rubbing up on their baby as that woman did to hers. Race isn't the issue for me, its the nature of the person.
I've had people touch my kids in grocery stores. Mostly it's older ladies that just don't get it because it's part of their generation.
Your "descriptions" hit a chord with me. You could have described the women without including race..........I'm not sure what their race had to do with it.
Because if they were clean white people it wouldn't have been so bad. Duh.
Because if they were clean white people it wouldn't have been so bad. Duh.
Based on appearance, yes...race, no.
If this lady you were describing started touching my baby, I would have moved him out of the way in the first place and not given her a chance to continue doing it. Instead of getting to the point that I have to yell at her in front of everyone.
You say she isn't slow, but saying to someone 'You can look, but please don't touch.' makes it sound like you are talking to a child. Obviously there is something wrong with her and you seemed to have recognized that.
W : 01.11.13
#3 : due 11.02.15
More people should be this kind to others.
I have let plenty of people touch my baby and not thought twice about it. I can't imagine being rude to an old lady for touching my baby and especially not for calling her an it. Who cares what a stranger calls your baby.
W : 01.11.13
#3 : due 11.02.15
I am not racist. I was simply trying to create a visual for the readers. Yes, I said she looked puerto rican but I also said my manager friend was Haitian so that the readers could understand her accent.
As far as her intelligence level, I also mentioned that I recognized her as one of the customers that comes in with dirty cans and bottles to return and to buy scratch tickets. I used to work at the store. Do I know her well? No. Do I know her well enough to know that she knew what I was saying? Yes. My manager friend knew that the lady understood and was just ignoring me. There was no language barrier. There was no intelligence barrier. However, I do appreciate that have=faith wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt. This woman knew I didn't want her touching my daughter and she did it anyway and tried to justify it by saying something like she used to have little ones too.
I recognize that using race to describe someone probably wasn't the best idea, especially on the bump. I apologize for the offense it brought. However, to simply say someone is white, black, puerto rican, haitian is not racism. That's what they are. It is a description. This lady looked puerto rican. My friend is Haitian. To dislike someone because of their race or believe you are superior to another because of race is racism.
People at church touch my daughter all the time too. I know these people. They know and love my daughter. Some of them have even watched her for me. I don't mind that they touch her. Most of them have at one time or another asked to touch/hold/play with her etc. and I have allowed it. Sunday morning my daughter reached out for one of the old ladies and I let the old lady hold her for awhile. If any of these people have a cold, aren't feeling well etc they will not go near my daughter because they know she could get sick. They are thoughtful, kind, courteous and are welcome to hold my daughter any time.
You could have said, "A lady touched my baby, and I didn't like it." Instead you said, "A braless Puerto Rican lady touched my baby, and I didn't like it."
You do understand how this sounds racist, even if you didn't mean it that way, right?
And for once, I agree with H2H. I really don't care if people touch my baby.
I haven't been posting here lately but I was reading the post today so I want to chime in.
I think its a little ridiculous that you ladies are jumping on OP for mentioning the race of the person touching her child, and I *think* some of you are saying she is raciest.
Why is she raciest because she was describing someone and mentioned there race? Why is it so "taboo." It doesn't mean that she is raciest, at all. She was describing someone.
Right. I know a lot of the people at our church. BUT, our church has about 2,500 people total. Some of the people that try to touch the baby are people we are not 100% familiar with. Regardless of that, we clean his hands/feet/face after anyone touches him, whether or not we know the person that well. And yeah, most of the time people that are sick will stay away from the baby. But not all. I will usually let someone hold him if they ask. I guess my biggest concern is, he puts EVERYTHING in his mouth. Including his hands. So if you're touching his hands, and he puts his hands in his mouth, he's essentially putting your hands in his mouth and whatever else you've touched. Maybe it's paranoid to think like that. This past Sunday a few people touched his cheek and grabbed his hands during the greeting. When I came and got him to nurse after I was done playing, I wiped his hands and face with a baby wipe. When he was done nursing, we went outside and mingled with a few friends of mine who were waiting for the next service. A couple of them asked to hold him. I let them. When DH got him home and fed and ready to go for a nap, he wiped him down with a baby wipe. I won't refuse to let people touch him, but I will make sure he is clean.
If you're going to lecture us about something, at least spell everything right.
You sound like a peach. There is a nice way to approach it and that so wasn't it. You were being rude. I don't get the disrespect of elders...maybe it's a Southern thing, but old people get a pass around here.
My first thought when I read this was "wow, she must be a really good pianist to play for a church of 2,500!"
Maybe the title of my post made is seem like I don't let anybody touch my daughter. I let a lot of people touch her, but I do know them and I always wipe her hands, feet, cheeks after greeting time. Maybe I'm a little overly cautious...so be it. I want to know who is touching her and really, it is just impolite not to ask.
LOL. I am telling you that she understood what I was asking her. I am not claiming to be fully aware of her mental capacities but I am aware enough to know that she understood me. That is clear as she tried to justify her actions by saying that she used to have little kids too.
No, that makes absolutely nothing clear.
HA! I wouldn't say "really good." I'm just part of the worship team, and I happen to play keyboard/piano and sing. And we have 5 services total so the 2500 are spread out through the day.
"Please don't touch my daughter."
"Oh, it's okay, I've have kids too."
She understood I didn't want her to touch my daughter. She continued to touch her and tried to convince me it was okay because she used to have small children.
I used to work at this store. I have taken back her cans and bottles before. I have cashed in her lottery tickets before. A lot of times? No. Enough times to know that she is capable of understanding somethings as simple as "please don't touch my daughter?" Yes. She was not slow or impaired. She was stubborn and ignored my requests.
Really? Did you read the whole post. I also mentioned my manager friend who is Haitian. During the incident I was talking to my black Haitian friend.
Using a person's race or color to describe them is not racist. I know my friend would not be insulted if I called her black and Haitian...because she is.
Does her race really matter? No. A lot of details didn't matter, I was just trying to use as many possible to better describe what happened.