Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: final amnio results:(
3/12 150mg Clomid + B2B IUI =BFP!! TWINS!
Vanishing twin at week 6
Tater-tot born January 3rd 2013
2 IUI's in 2016- BFN
3 IUI's in 2017- BFN
8/17 IUI BFP!!!!!!!!
Chemical Pregnancy
I can't even imagine what you are going through, but I hope that He brings you peace and blesses you again when you are ready.
Hi,
I am so terribly sorry for your news! I just feel like I should tell you that God will always be with you and see you through anything! However, all babies belong to God, birth defects or not! I was born with Spina Bifida and doctors told my parents (before I was born) that I'd never walk, be mentally incapable, die young, etc.....
But because of God's wonderful love for His children, he healed me from all the doctor's predictions and I am 24 living life fully have my own kids, etc.
Don't give up on your baby, please!!! God bless, t&p for you either way!!
-With love
I'm so sorry. I will pray for u and your LO.
I'm so very sorry to hear this. I can't imagine what you must be going though. My thoughts are with you.
Mama2one2010: I'm sure that this isn't a decision OP has made lightly, or without due consideration. This is a decision that primarily concerns her family and her body, and a decision that deserves support and respect without judgement.
@mycobonnie: Thank you so much for your support without judgement as well as your kind thoughts and respect! We are in a vulnerable state right now and need all the thought, prayers, love, and respect we can get...without judgement.
@ everyone else: All I have to say is wow! I logged out yesterday with about 15 replies...and logged back in this morning to see an outpouring of thoughts and prayers. We need as many prayer warriors as we can get at this point. This was not a decision made on a whim by any means. To say that this is the most difficult decision ever is an UNDERSTATEMENT. I can't even put into words what this feels like for my husband and I. But we are eternally grateful for all your support and thoughts and prayers. My whole family and I are a united front in this life changing event. And I thank God, most of all, for my husband and all of our family standing behind us. So thank you again...definitely continue to pray for our days to come. Btw, our baby girl's name is KALANI...which happens to mean THE HEAVEN. Which is where she will be safe in God's hand and beside my mom.
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I didn't intend to be judgmental, I know you didn't make the decision on a whim by any means, I just wanted to say that all children are miracles and even with birth defects, they can live very happy lives as long as their family loves and supports them. I know because I am living proof!
I just think all babies deserve a chance at life, but as I said before I will pray for you and SO no matter what you decide to do!!
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I'm so sorry for the loss of your precious Kalani. I love the name, I'm sure it's as beautiful as her.
"A new baby is like the beginning of all things--wonder, hope, a dream of possibilities."
We chose her name even before we got married and pregnant:) So how fitting that heaven will be her home??
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You have a great attitude, you can tell god is helping you through this. He needed her a bit early and she will be in good hands. Kalani is beautiful
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