We see him tomorrow

Fletcha · July 2012

The viewing is tomorrow (almost today). I'm mostly dreading it. There will be so many people, family I haven't seen in a while.... so many tears... so many I'm sorry's. And our reality will be right there, lying in a little white box. It won't be Milo, I know he is with us in spirit. It is just his precious little body.

We already said goodbye. He took his last breath in my arms a week ago. It's going to be torture to see him again, like that. But I'm also grateful. I want to feel his soft skin again and memorize his face all over again, kiss him and talk to him. I know this is an essential step towards healing. But the next two days are going to be the hardest thing, by far, that I will ever have to face. It scares the crap out of me. No one should ever have to bury their baby.

This SUCKS.

StephK86 · July 2012

***SIGGY WARNING***

I am so sorry sweetheart. As soon as I read your story I have been non stop praying for you. You are right no one should have to bury their baby. These next two days will be hard but I am glad you already know to touch him, kiss him, remember every little thing about him, tell him everything you want to know. I made sure before and after the wake I took the time to just that and those were the hardest days of my life. I wish there was something I could do to ease your pain but I can't. All I can say is Milo is beautiful and he is a beautiful angel who will forever watch out for you. I wish I could hug you and help you through this. Even though I am a stranger it is tough when you feel you are going at this alone.

I will pray for your strength especially over these next few days. I am so, so sorry for your loss.

JabberJay · July 2012

I am so, so, sorry. I have been thinking of you since I saw your post.

Get through today any way you can. If you go on auto-pilot - so be it. Many many hugs and thoughts for you and your family.

The day of my son's funeral was awful for me - I quite honestly don't remember most of it. I do remember going to see his body and realizing that he looked nothing like my baby. It was good to say a final good-bye, but they had put so much make-up on him and his face and everything just looked...different. I am sure you know this, but just prepare yourself that his body may not look like your sweet Milo. I wish someone had warned me.

magdalina.h · July 2012

I am so so so sorry for your loss. Please know that Milo has changed a lot of lives, I know he has changed mine. You are in my prayers.

jbranden12 · July 2012

I'm so sorry. Will think of you today.

Mrs Nice · July 2012

This DOES suck! :'(

There will be lots of people and every single one will tell you how "brave and strong" you are. My mistake was trying to act this way for them. I put my brave face on and I now regret it. I feel like I didn't grieve or say goodbye properly at the time. Don't let anyone rush you. Take as much time with him as you can.

Much love and hugs to you.

pottermommy · July 2012

You are right. This is one of the harders parts....

The only things I remember about the viewing and the funeral are touching her. We read to her, we sang to her.

We made sure that there was time at the end of the viewing and at the end of the service before the closed the casket that was just me and DH.. We asked everyone else to leave so that we had time to be with her before we did not get to be alone with her again.

Make certain that if there is something you want done at the services it is done. You should get to have everything perfect. Do not worry about others and what they want or comforting them. This is about you and Daddy and Milo. Do everything you need to do, leave no room for regrets on these two days. They are about the three of you and no one else.

Take care of yourself and remember even though the thought makes you sick, eat somehing, something small at least, and drink fluids. It will make you stronger and better able to cope. These next few days are what I refferred to as survival mode. Do what you have to do to live through it.

No, you are right, no one should ever have to bury their baby. And I continue to pray for you.

karma79 · July 2012

:::Siggy Warning:::

:::Lurking from PAL:::

I am so sorry for your loss and I've been thinking of you and sending T&P your way. There are so many women, like me that you don't know who are pulling for you - pulling and praying so hard for you and your family. This is unfair and not right. I am just so sorry! Huge hug!

foxxy1 · July 2012

You're in my thoughts and prayers today.

weddedwife · July 2012

I'm so sad you have to go through this. But I think in the long run you will be glad you had a service, glad you celebrated his life. Get through it any way you can. We are here for you!

nuttycoconut · July 2012

Sending hugs and strength to help you get through today. I'm so very sorry you are going through this right now. It's unbelievably unfair. Baby Milo is adorable. (((hugs)))

SheLovesMrHip · July 2012

*****SIGGY WARNING***** I know you dont know me, but there are a few gals I chat with that have shared what is going on and I want you to know that I have been thinking about you. I told my family about Milo and my Dad asked about you this weekend. I just wnated you to know how many people are praying for you on such a larger scale!!! Hugs to your family....

Carolee · July 2012

You're right...it does suck, so much. I'm sure it was very hard today, but I hope it went as well as it could have and that this brings you some healing. (((HUGS)))

tubbsy32 · July 2012

I am heartbroken for you. I am so sorry that you have lost your precious baby. You are so right, no one should ever have to bury their baby. I will be praying for you. ((Hugs))

mundayem · July 2012

:::::siggy::::::

I can't tell you how sorry I am for your loss. So many T&Ps for you and your family at this hard time. I don't have the words but just know you have so many people mourning your beautiful boy along with you, even though we don't know you. He is beautiful and I'm so sorry.