I have something to say

SpeakUp · July 2012

Let me preface this by saying that I am by no means a newbie. I have been on TB for several years, I have two children, and I have been a very regular part of the TTGP boards with each pregnancy and now that I am TTC again. I am a silver poster if that helps you understand how long I have been around. I don't post daily but I do get involved, offer support, and answer questions when I feel I can offer something.

I am using an AE for this because I am not interested in an argument and I am not interested in the "stalking" that will occur if I use my real post name (i.e searching through all of my old posts, etc). And I have no intention of GBCB despite my feelings about many posters here.

I participate in many of the boards here on TB (TTGP, tri boards, BMB, and age boards). TTGP are some of the b!tchiest women around and I think many of you really need to get over yourselves. This behavior seems to get passed to the newbies because they think that is how they have to act to "fit in". There is a lot of good information to be given to newbies, but your delivery is something to be desired. All you want to talk about is the so-called "rules of the board" and how one must behave to not get flamed; however, when called out for being nasty you then preach that it's a public forum and you can say what you want. So you can say what you want but they cannot? Hypocrisy at it's finest.

When someone asks what you consider to be a dumb question and you respond poorly and God forbid they say "isn't this board to ask questions and get support?" you jump down their throat. I hate to break it to you, but that is the purpose of a board like this. Sharing information and support. I understand that the same old questions and asking "Am I pregnant?" are extremely annoying after a short time, trust me I do, but you don't need to be nasty. You're pushing people off the boards that may grow into great support systems for others. If it's so annoying, then why even waste your time responding and being nasty? I really don't understand it. The last thing I want to do is waste even 5 minutes of my time to make someone feel badly. If you don't want to deal with it - don't respond or simply say "read the newbie link". I know you all hate when people say this but "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all". I truly believe that. You can tell people they are wrong or have made a mistake or have posted something inappropriate without being a giant a-hole.

And seriously - flaming someone for announcing a BFP when you don't feel they have been around long enough or posted enough is childish. If you don't know them and don't want to wish them congratulations then just move on. Why is it so difficult for some of you to ignore a post. Maybe they lurked and posted a few times but you just didn't notice them. This is the board they had been on and that is where they announced because they hadn't thought to move on in their excitement. They're not rubbing it in. Some of you take everything so personally. It's not always about YOU! You talk about other people "having too much time on their hands" when you think they are being an AW and keep posting, but some of you are on these boards 24/7. Ignore the post. No need for flames. When you get your BFP you may be on the tri boards with them and they may be able to answer some of your questions and offer support to you some day. But if they remember how you were - they won't.

I have to wonder if any of you would actually speak this way to people IRL. I would venture to guess that 90% of you would not. So why do it here? What do you gain by being rude to someone? You are downright rude and mean and you disguise it under "snark" and "that's just how this board is". Show some human decency.

Now, I've been around long enough to know that this post will not be received well and that is fine. But I am tired of sitting around and watching how rude some of you are (and not just to newbies). If even one person reads this and realizes that they need an attitude adjustment than it worked. If not, oh well, I've said my piece and gotten this off my chest.

Have a lovely day.

PrimRoseMama · July 2012

You forgot that you feel sorry for our husbands, we are bitter & deplorable people.

I am new here, but really this is a ridiculous post. It's not rocket science that if you behave like an adult you will be treated like one. If you (or anyone else) don't like the way anyone behaves then no one is holding a gun to your head to stay. I have learned a lot here so far & no one has been rude. They've corrected me when I was wrong & helped me with questions when I had them.

Grow up.

BankerBSN · July 2012

I appreciate that you use paragraphs.

sparklemotion86 · July 2012

Sometimes people can go overboard with the snarkiness but you can't censor what people say. If it bothers you that much then maybe you should move to another board.

You said that you have been here for a long time and that you know that these posts don't go over well. I'm not being snarky but what do you hope to accomplish?

There will always be snarky people on the Internet and there really isn't anything anyone can do it about.

acesup · July 2012

Banker&BSN:
I appreciate that you use paragraphs.

yes this x10!!! LOL

and everything PP's have said. I was here when TTC my DD and there was way more snark then. Everyone has been very helpful to me both times around.

JustWonderin805 · July 2012

tl;dr.

I'm assuming it's along the same lines of "you TTGP biitches are horrible, you're all bitter/nasty/conniving wenches"???

acesup · July 2012

CLECyclist:

i LOVE her

OhSewCrafty · July 2012

I'm new here as well and haven't found it anything but welcoming. Plus, this board is way, way tamer than it was a few years ago.

It IS annoying to answer posts from people who refuse to Google, read FAQ, or get pissed off when they don't get the answer they were given - often in a polite, matter of fact way. While not everything is 100% called for, I think the snark flag gets thrown up way too quickly in drive by stupid question posts when OPs don't get the answer they were looking for.

FWIW, I think you need a certain amount of snark and sass to be here. While I haven't been here a long time, some people have and there are just as many ignorant comments that end up being hurtful as there are snarky responses. The request is simple - lurk and learn, then post. I don't think that's asking a lot in such considering potentially sensitive circumstances.

kristykay123 · July 2012

If you have truly been around as long as you say you have, you would know that the board was far worse a year ago than it is now.

tiffk10 · July 2012

Normally I would pass these kinds of posts by, but the fact that you are b!tching about people being mean when they wouldn't be IRL and posting this as an AE is ridiculous. If you really care about people being nice and the boards being puppies and rainbows you should have posted this under your normal screen name.

acesup · July 2012

dangit i'm trying to PIP and it won't work.

I have a feeling this is going to turn into a really good GIF post. throw out your best GIF's people!!

JustWonderin805 · July 2012

piglet6609:
dangit i'm trying to PIP and it won't work.
I have a feeling this is going to turn into a really good GIF post. throw out your best GIF's people!!

Shayliz · July 2012

Silver poster means nothing. This board is hella puppies & rainbows and tame right now. I couldn't find any drive by BFP recently that wasn't full of Congrats. That sh!t isn't how it would have went down a year ago.

Thanks for your AE wisdom, but we get noobs here every day that stay. There are plenty of other boards if this isn't a good fit for someone.

JustWonderin805 · July 2012

Shayliz:
Silver poster means nothing. This board is hella puppies & rainbows and tame right now. I couldn't find any drive by BFP recently that wasn't full of Congrats. That sh!t isn't how it would have went down a year ago.
Thanks for your AE wisdom, but we get noobs here every day that stay. There are plenty of other boards if this isn't a good fit for someone.

How are you nine weeks already? I swear you just posted your drive-by BFP Wink

acesup · July 2012

JustWonderin805:
piglet6609:
dangit i'm trying to PIP and it won't work.
I have a feeling this is going to turn into a really good GIF post. throw out your best GIF's people!!

HAHAHAHAHA! is that Dawson??

Kaetbeth · July 2012

I'm very new here, and while I acknowledge that there is some unwarranted snark, by no means do I think it is pervasive. I have found nearly everyone on this board to be very welcoming and very open to answering questions. Now, I don't read every post, but unless I'm missing something, most of the snark and b!tchiness happens when someone refuses to listen or gets their panties in a twist when they don't get the answer they want. There is always some level of snark on an internet forum, and in my experience, this board is tame in comparison to others that I have frequented.

That's just my 2 cents.

Shayliz · July 2012

JustWonderin805:
Shayliz:
Silver poster means nothing. This board is hella puppies & rainbows and tame right now. I couldn't find any drive by BFP recently that wasn't full of Congrats. That sh!t isn't how it would have went down a year ago.
Thanks for your AE wisdom, but we get noobs here every day that stay. There are plenty of other boards if this isn't a good fit for someone.
How are you nine weeks already? I swear you just posted your drive-by BFP

I did my drive by with a DeLorean Wink

SweetPeanutButter · July 2012

Its not that hard to not be an idiot. If you lurk for a day you should know that certain posts are frowned upon. I figured it out. Many other newbs have too. If you're too dumb to see the newbie link (or the bazillion references to it in other posts) then you're asking for it. There is plenty of support and good advice here but you have to educate yourself a little bit.

SweetPeanutButter · July 2012

kicius56:
SpeakUp:
I have to wonder if any of you would actually speak this way to people IRL. I would venture to guess that 90% of you would not. So why do it here? What do you gain by being rude to someone? You are downright rude and mean and you disguise it under "snark" and "that's just how this board is". Show some human decency.
IRL you also don't come up to strangers and ask to interpret every single nipple itch or sore boob or whip out your chart and fish to tell you you're pregnant.

Yes Yes

OhSewCrafty · July 2012

SweetPeanutButter:
Its not that hard to not be an idiot. If you lurk for a day you should know that certain posts are frowned upon. I figured it out. Many other newbs have too. If you're too dumb to see the newbie link (or the bazillion references to it in other posts) then you're asking for it. There is plenty of support and good advice here but you have to educate yourself a little bit.

The other piece of this has nothing to do with the regular posters. I seriously believe a lot of the stupid question posts ARE asking for it. They know what the answer is, but are bored enough to stir the pot. I just can't believe someone can make a screen name, pop on a board, not read a single other post, and ask the same. damn. question. as the 10 people below them. Its straight up rude.

scorch · July 2012

That's why I come here. I love the bittchiness and snark. Im not TTGP but I sure do love reading about BFPs. My most favorite part of the whole board is crazy noobs that don't have the good sense to lurk or do a Google search. Sorry OP. I don't agree.

saintpaulJess · July 2012

OP, I'm one of those people that tries to avoid the drama, but at the same time, I don't think this board is mean. In fact, I think it's pretty well self-regulated. And sometimes people just need a does of reality.

Unknown · July 2012

This content has been removed.

hatroopes · July 2012

I agree that there is some snarkiness on this board, but I don't think it's overboard. I've learned a lot in the short time I've been here. Unfortunately there are rude people everywhere (interwebz and IRL), but I too have been a little irritated with some of the questions that get asked here when they could be answered by doing a some research or just lurking a little. I try to avoid the drama as well - there is enough drama in TTC alone

mama&baby · July 2012

Why don't you grow a pair and post with your SN? Oh wait, is that offensive? I'm soooo sorry! :-)

KdgTeacher · July 2012

kristykay123:
If you have truly been around as long as you say you have, you would know that the board was far worse a year ago than it is now.

This and that a post like this isn't going to change anything.

Thanks for playing though.

HenHen25 · July 2012

This board has been really pretty boring lately. The fact that you think its been snarky makes me question how active you really are on TB.

Andplusalso, how many times a day can we be expected to respond nicely to the "my-pee-smellz-funny-zomg-am-I-preggly" questions? Seriously, that shiit gets old fast.

OhSewCrafty · July 2012

HenHen25:
This board has been really pretty boring lately. The fact that you think its been snarky makes me question how active you really are on TB.
Andplusalso, how many times a day can we be expected to respond nicely to the "my-pee-smellz-funny-zomg-am-I-preggly" questions? Seriously, that shiit gets old fast.

I'm just going to make a document of copy and paste answers so I can be nice to eeeeeeeverybody.

teddybearjk2009 · July 2012

I'm only going to address how I feel, because I can't speak for others who may have received the snark and perceived "b!tchiness" of the board and taken it personally. For me, I still consider myself a newbie to this board. MH and I have been TTC for about 3 months, and I have been on this board for about 2 months. I read the newbie post, then lurked for about 3 weeks. I saw the snark, and honestly I found it refreshing how many people would speak their minds! So here's how I feel:

1. If you come to this board, you know what you're getting yourself into. I lurked and knew, and decided that this was a community I wanted to be a part of. If I wasn't into the snark, I would have gone somewhere else. But I wanted to stay here, so I feel like if I say something out of line and get corrected, that's on me. If I wanted a board full of butterflies and rainbows, I would have gone somewhere else. And if you haven't lurked enough to know that, that's not our fault.

2. I am still new here, but I feel like I have been welcomed. I follow the rules, only ask questions that people here can reasonably answer, and only ask after I have done enough research on my own. I know that this board is not my personal google service. I come here for support, when I need a sounding board, and when I need to talk things out. I have gotten nothing but welcome and support from everyone. I do see people getting flamed, snarked, etc, but this has not happened to me yet, and the only thing I have experienced here is beginning to make friends with some awesome ladies. I put in the time to follow the rules, and If you get flamed because you can't be bothered to follow the rules, do a 5 minute google search, lurk, or read the newbie link, that's on you. Just don't come and complain to me about it.

3. I've only been here for a few months, but I have really come to appreciate the ladies here. Sometimes when I am feeling frustrated and want to vent, I don't even post- just knowing that they would all be there for me is enough. I don't know how long it's going to take for me and MH to get KU, but however long it takes, I'm glad that I can come here, snark or not, and feel supported. And by posting this, you have basically tried to negate all of that. You are, without saying so explicitly, implying that the support and kindness that all of the ladies here are willing to give means nothing because sometimes they get snarky. I really resent you doing that. These ladies have been a big support to me, and I won't just stand by and let you call them b!tchy crabby hypocrites. You calling this whole community into question just because someone was mean to someone else, IMO, is MUCH more harmful to us ALL than any amount of snark could ever be.

LaSorella · July 2012

SpeakUp:
If even one person reads this and realizes that they need an attitude adjustment than it worked. If not, oh well, I've said my piece and gotten this off my chest.

I'm sorry you took so much effort to type this out, but I hope it has made you feel better...

HenHen25 · July 2012

CLECyclist:
mama&baby:

Why don't you grow a pair and post with your SN? Oh wait, is that offensive? I'm soooo sorry! :-)
She can't because when you DD 2-3 threads on your actual SN you lose a teeny smidge of credibility. ;-)

I like the way you think. I'm thinking we believe the same person is behind this.

mama&baby · July 2012

CLECyclist:
mama&baby:

Why don't you grow a pair and post with your SN? Oh wait, is that offensive? I'm soooo sorry! :-)

She can't because when you DD 2-3 threads on your actual SN you lose a teeny smidge of credibility. ;-)

*Insert evil laugh here*

OhSewCrafty · July 2012

HenHen25:
CLECyclist:
mama&baby:

Why don't you grow a pair and post with your SN? Oh wait, is that offensive? I'm soooo sorry! :-)
She can't because when you DD 2-3 threads on your actual SN you lose a teeny smidge of credibility. ;-)

I like the way you think. I'm thinking we believe the same person is behind this.

Nah, there wasn't nearly enough LOL's and bad grammar.

Ridgebackmom · July 2012

Thank you!! I was annoyed by a post I made and I'm not even a newbie. Turns a person right OFF. So sad. Welcome back.

Ridgebackmom · July 2012

LaSorella:
SpeakUp:
If even one person reads this and realizes that they need an attitude adjustment than it worked. If not, oh well, I've said my piece and gotten this off my chest.
I'm sorry you took so much effort to type this out, but I hope it has made you feel better...

Cute icon!

KdgTeacher · July 2012

HenHen25:
CLECyclist:
mama&baby:

Why don't you grow a pair and post with your SN? Oh wait, is that offensive? I'm soooo sorry! :-)

She can't because when you DD 2-3 threads on your actual SN you lose a teeny smidge of credibility. ;-)

I like the way you think. I'm thinking we believe the same person is behind this.

I don't know about that. The grammar/punctuation/sentence structure is different in this post...in that it's correct. Plus, comprehension wise it makes sense!

Shayliz · July 2012

RidgebackMom:
Thank you!! I was annoyed by a post I made and I'm not even a newbie. Turns a person right OFF. So sad. Welcome back.

You were annoyed by your own post?

lobosabby · July 2012

So you're going to call us out but you're too much of a puss to tell us who you are? Cool story bro.

Seriously, if I was going to call out everyone on this board, at least I'd have the balls to do it under my screen name. Because, that's how I am IRL. Oh wait, you don't think I would.

You're the one that needs to grow up and learn how to handle conflict. FFS.

KNemo · July 2012

IRL, I am way more of a b!tch than I ever was on TTGP. And hell, a year ago was nothing compared to two years ago. This place is a snoozefest of rainbow love and glitter farts. I would kill for some real snark or for these boards to go back to the way they were even 7 months ago. No one here is mean. EVER!

lobosabby · July 2012

anastasiacarmen:
HenHen25:
CLECyclist:
mama&baby:

Why don't you grow a pair and post with your SN? Oh wait, is that offensive? I'm soooo sorry! :-)
She can't because when you DD 2-3 threads on your actual SN you lose a teeny smidge of credibility. ;-)

I like the way you think. I'm thinking we believe the same person is behind this.

I was thinking the same thing!

Damn it! Send me a PM and tell me who you THINk it is! I'm clueless right now!

LnR70707 · July 2012

kristykay123:
If you have truly been around as long as you say you have, you would know that the board was far worse a year ago than it is now.

And 2 years before that it made a year look like a P&R fest. If anything, this board has gone soft several times in the past 3 years.

And really...silver? How impressive. I've seen total douchebags make silver in a matter of weeks.

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