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Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months
jwpj
member
22 Month old, trouble sleeping
jwpj
member
Hello all,
Okay, so I have a question pertaining to my 22 month old son.
My son has always had trouble sleeping. I don't know why, he is just a very active boy and does not like to go to bed. We haven't exactly been "co-sleeping" with him per se, but we have to lay down with him to get him to fall asleep every night, and it usually takes him over an hour to fall asleep! Once he's asleep, we can leave the room, but if he wakes up in the night (which he always does) he cries until someone comes in and lies down with him again.
Yes, it is very frustrating.
Recently (and I read this on another forum somewhere) I started a new bedtime routine, and just want to know if I'm going about it the right way, and if it's going to work long term. Basically, once he's ready for bed I read him 2-3 books, sing him a song, tuck him in, and turn the light off. Then I stand next to his bed and just rub his head and back until he starts getting drowsy, and then I sit in a chair that I have next to his bed, so that he can see me, but I'm not lying down with him. If he gets up when he sees me leave the side of the bed, I just stand up, don't say anything, and lay him back down, rubbing his head and back again.
So far, it's been great. He is literally falling asleep in like 10-15 minutes as opposed to an hour before. But is this way of putting him to sleep actually going to help the long-term goal, which is getting him to go to sleep on his own? I feel like I'm just getting rid of his dependancy to sleep with me, but creating a new dependancy of standing by the bed rubbing his head.
Oh, and CIO wont work because he is in a twin bed and can easily crawl out of it and open his door.
thanks for all the input!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: 22 Month old, trouble sleeping
We bedshare in our house (well we have DD's crib sidecarred so she is basically bedsharing). I think it is normal for a child to want someone near them when they sleep / wake. I don't like to sleep alone (most adults don't). It sounds like you have found a great solution to allow your DS the security and comfort he needs while cutting down the time it takes to get him to sleep. I don't know any 10 year olds that need their mamas to put them to sleep.
Personally I look at the extra time / snuggles as a special time in my LO's life that I know she'll grow out of. There will be a time when your LO won't want his mama's comfort and you can remember these sweet times with your DS.
Also, once your DS gets used to this method, you can decrease the amount of time that you rub his head and/or stay in his room with the goal of him eventually not needing you there. Good luck!
We bedshare still. DD sleeps between DH and me.
Sometimes she wants one of us to lie with her until she falls asleep. Other times, like last night, I can put her in bed and she goes to sleep on her own, without any of us being there.
Like PP, I see this as additional time I get to spend with LO. She's going to be at that stage where she is too cool for us before I know it... I know when she's older I'll look back at these moments fondly.... Not look back and wish I spent more time with her.
I think LOs go through phases... DD always needed to be rocked and then like a light switch she was requesting going to bed on her own... then we went on vacation and she wanted us to start lying with her again. Now she varies in her requests.
Do what works for you. Your LO will start feeling secure and will go to sleep on his own eventually. If you are fine with it, then keep doing it. If he's a teen and still needing you to rub his back, then you can worry!