Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months

I'm at a total loss- Picky Eater

I'm so frustrated with DS eating habits.    Here are the problems:

1.  DS does not even want to "touch" foreign food, especially if it's wet (although he eats meatballs in red sauce). So I cannot encourage him just to pick the food up.  Feed it to him?  Forget it- no way.

2.   Meatballs, Grilled ham/cheese, Toast w/butter, and Cheerios/Puffs are the only foods he will eat himself.  Otherwise it's fruit/veggie purees, oatmeal, and yogurt.  Boil up/ dice some fruit/ veggies that he eats as purees?  Nope-he's all set.   He's also against textures (e.g. rice, macaroni).

 I've done research- library; online; lurking TB, etc. and I've tried so many methods from timing, to the way new foods are presented on the tray with other foods, etc.  He sees us eat the foods as a family.  Ive also tried to give him some space.  We've gone through periods taking breaks completely from new items as well.

Nothing seems to work.  I'm exhausted and frustrated and it makes me depressed.  I hide it from DS, of course.  It still affects our relationship at times, and the eating situation even gives DS anxiety, even with food he likes.

It's become so stressful, I've nearly given up.  I stick something new on his tray while I prepare his meal, he ignores it.  He eats his meal, I clean off the new item, and we're done.  That's all I can handle at this point.  I will discuss this with the pedi next month at his appt, but I can't help but feel like there is something more I can do.  The question is... WHAT??????

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Re: I'm at a total loss- Picky Eater

  • JKHopeJKHope member

    I lurk here a lot, barely post but I had to on this because I'm going through the same thing. Make you want to pull your hair out, right! My son is a terrible eater. He is still is breastfed and nurses like a champ so I have that but still. It's frustrating.

    I just ordered Ellyn Satter's books which were rec'd to me. Have you looked in to those? I'm curious to hear some advice on here or stories from people who have been there, done that.

    Does he like to feed himself with a spoon. That's my son's newest skill and he likes to practice. Tonight he ate a bunch of rice that way (which he NEVER would eat before)

     

    Good luck!

     

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  • imageJKHope:

    I lurk here a lot, barely post but I had to on this because I'm going through the same thing. Make you want to pull your hair out, right! My son is a terrible eater. He is still is breastfed and nurses like a champ so I have that but still. It's frustrating.

    I just ordered Ellyn Satter's books which were rec'd to me. Have you looked in to those? I'm curious to hear some advice on here or stories from people who have been there, done that.

    Does he like to feed himself with a spoon. That's my son's newest skill and he likes to practice. Tonight he ate a bunch of rice that way (which he NEVER would eat before)

     

    Good luck!

     

    Utensils- check.  He has to hold a spoon when eating purees.  I give him a bowl and even a scoop of puree.  He doesn't really meet the spoon to his face lately.  I give him a toddler fork with meatballs, but not much interest from him yet.

    I'll look into the author you listed.  Thanks!

     

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  • Have you had him eval'ed for sensory issues? Does he have any other sensory issues (very strong particulars about clothing, things about shoes/socks/types of floor, strong reactions to sound or lack thereof, strong reactions to light/dark, etc.)
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  • I would try pulling back a little bit and maybe pick one or two new foods to focus on each week.  It can sometimes take many, many times (there has been research on this but I can't find it at the moment) for a child to see a food before they feel comfortable trying it.  My daughter started out with a number of issues trying new foods. 

    As a previous poster touched on sensory issues I just thought I would throw this out there.  Have you tried increasing his exposure to sensory experiences outside of just mealtime?  That may help take some of the stress away from meals if he is getting practice with foreign feelings outside of it (ie. shaving cream, playdough, fingerpaints, jello, rice, corn, etc). 

    I know that it can be stressful to have a child that doesn't want to try anything new.  Keep mealtime as stressfree as you can, and bring it up at his next appt.  Good luck!
  • imageJoeypnut:
    I would try pulling back a little bit and maybe pick one or two new foods to focus on each week.  It can sometimes take many, many times (there has been research on this but I can't find it at the moment) for a child to see a food before they feel comfortable trying it.  My daughter started out with a number of issues trying new foods. 

    As a previous poster touched on sensory issues I just thought I would throw this out there.  Have you tried increasing his exposure to sensory experiences outside of just mealtime?  That may help take some of the stress away from meals if he is getting practice with foreign feelings outside of it (ie. shaving cream, playdough, fingerpaints, jello, rice, corn, etc). 

    I know that it can be stressful to have a child that doesn't want to try anything new.  Keep mealtime as stressfree as you can, and bring it up at his next appt.  Good luck!

    Although he doesn't seem to have any sensory issues, I could do more to expose him to touching foreign feelings.  As a SAHM, you can bet one of my biggest struggles is exposure in general (we do playgroups, outings, etc.).  I'm going to set him up with some rice to play in tomorrow, and next week, we'll do jello, shaving cream, etc..  :)  Great suggestion, thanks!

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  • My opinion - you kiddo is very young. Mine was not really eating much variety until she was 17-18 months. She is still a very picky eater and would much prefer BM to anything else. She also goes in stages. She just got done with a berry stage - all berries, all day and nothing else. This was right after a pasta stage. 

    I find that the more I get stressed about it, the more she refuses to eat anything or try new things. It takes her seeing things A LOT before she will try them. So we will offer her things at every meal, but it might take her a week to try it. It is stressful, but I make myself not get stressed about it.

    I would get so stressed about people saying how their kid eats 3 meals a day plus snacks, and our sitters kids eat like horses. But not all kids are like that. I look at her diet week by week, not daily. Yesterday she ate berries and a half bowl of cereal. Today she has already had peanut butter toast - and she usually doesn't eat breakfast. It all evens out. 

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  • JKHopeJKHope member
    imagesolidio:

    My opinion - you kiddo is very young. Mine was not really eating much variety until she was 17-18 months. She is still a very picky eater and would much prefer BM to anything else. She also goes in stages. She just got done with a berry stage - all berries, all day and nothing else. This was right after a pasta stage. 

    I find that the more I get stressed about it, the more she refuses to eat anything or try new things. It takes her seeing things A LOT before she will try them. So we will offer her things at every meal, but it might take her a week to try it. It is stressful, but I make myself not get stressed about it.

    I would get so stressed about people saying how their kid eats 3 meals a day plus snacks, and our sitters kids eat like horses. But not all kids are like that. I look at her diet week by week, not daily. Yesterday she ate berries and a half bowl of cereal. Today she has already had peanut butter toast - and she usually doesn't eat breakfast. It all evens out. 

     

    I have to agree that he's still young. I ordered those books to be on top of it but I also do remind myself that 14 months is not all that old for solids. Especially for breastfed babies which I'm not sure what kind of milk your baby drinks. Just stay calm and it will come

  • Water beads are another great sensory experience.  They are kind of wet and squishy.  They bounce and they are so much fun to play with.  Just be careful because they are a choking hazard.  I have lots of sensory ideas pinned here:  https://pinterest.com/pinnedbyKristen/sensory-fine-motor/  For most things, I just put my DD into a very large plastic tub where she can play without making much of a mess.

    Also, perhaps you could use the things that your DS will eat to help introduce him to new tastes / flavors.  Could you add spinach, carrots or other veggies to his meatballs?  How about veggies or shredded meat on his grilled cheese?  Maybe if they are presented in a way that he is familiar with he'll be more comfortable.  Also, could you add textures to his purees?  I added rice to my DD's purees when we were switching over to finger foods.  I just cooked brown rice in my rice cooker and added it to whatever puree she was eating.  I think it helped that I made my own purees because I was able to add new flavors / textures, but I don't see why you couldn't do that with purchased ones (if that's what you use). 

    At this point, I wouldn't worry SO much.  Just feed him the way he will eat and try new things once in a while.  Try to make mealtimes as relaxed and fun as possible and try not to stress.  I'm hope your pedi will have some good suggestions.   

  • Our pedi has said he thinks each meal should contain 3 items - 1 he loves and will definitely eat, 1 item he may like, and 1 item that is new.  It can take 7-8 times of trying/being presented with new foods for children to like them.  As long as his weight gain remains proportional, I'm sure your doc will not be too worried.

     Another tip I received from a friend - try to look at how he eats over a whole week, not just day to day.  And finally, what food my LO will eat changes on a meal-to-meal basis sometimes (one minute he'll eat blueberries till the cows come home and then he won't touch them for a couple of weeks).

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  • It sounds like he may have some sensory stuff going on like pp said.  I agree with tryiing to expose him to new textures to play in: shaving cream, bury some little army men in dry rice or beans and encourage him to dig and find them, play doh, finger paint with pudding, anything messy.  Also just try playing with his food.  You can use an old stuffed animal or a laminated picture of a person or favorite TV character and pretend to feed the food to them, let him feed the food to you.  Just let him play play play in it and get used to what it feels like.  If it doesn't get better after trying some of those things, I'd look into a feeding eval.  GL!
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  • He just made a year, right?  My pedi said don't worry about all that until all his teeth are in. Introduce it and give him what he will eat.

    You may want to puree and mix some foods into the spaghetti he eats. Please don't stress out over this. There will be way more things to stress over in the future. 

  • imageTiffanyBerry:
    Have you had him eval'ed for sensory issues? Does he have any other sensory issues (very strong particulars about clothing, things about shoes/socks/types of floor, strong reactions to sound or lack thereof, strong reactions to light/dark, etc.)
    sensory issues?  He's learning about new textures and tastes. Every 1 year old has sensory issues.
  • imagemavs_girl07:
    Also just try playing with his food.  You can use an old stuffed animal or a laminated picture of a person or favorite TV character and pretend to feed the food to them, let him feed the food to you.  Just let him play play play in it and get used to what it feels like.  If it doesn't get better after trying some of those things, I'd look into a feeding eval.  GL!
    NO! My cousin's DD had food issues and had to see specialists. They said absolutely NOT play games and do the airplane thing to "trick" them in to eating. That's using reverse psychology then the kid will really resist food.

     

    Just keep introducing it and giving him the opportunity.  

  • imageJKHope:
    imagesolidio:

    My opinion - you kiddo is very young. Mine was not really eating much variety until she was 17-18 months. She is still a very picky eater and would much prefer BM to anything else. She also goes in stages. She just got done with a berry stage - all berries, all day and nothing else. This was right after a pasta stage. 

    I find that the more I get stressed about it, the more she refuses to eat anything or try new things. It takes her seeing things A LOT before she will try them. So we will offer her things at every meal, but it might take her a week to try it. It is stressful, but I make myself not get stressed about it.

    I would get so stressed about people saying how their kid eats 3 meals a day plus snacks, and our sitters kids eat like horses. But not all kids are like that. I look at her diet week by week, not daily. Yesterday she ate berries and a half bowl of cereal. Today she has already had peanut butter toast - and she usually doesn't eat breakfast. It all evens out. 

    I have to agree that he's still young. I ordered those books to be on top of it but I also do remind myself that 14 months is not all that old for solids. Especially for breastfed babies which I'm not sure what kind of milk your baby drinks. Just stay calm and it will come

    I agree with these posters -- I would take a deep breath and back off for a while. Feed your kid the foods you know he's going to eat if it means you're able to relax. Mealtimes shouldn't be a battle, and no matter how hard you try, you're not going to get him to eat a food he doesn't want to eat.

    If it helps, my DS is one of those kids who would eat anything we put in front of him, from an early age. DD is not. She has a few foods she'll eat anytime (cold applesauce, bananas, asparagus, graham crackers) and everything else has maybe 20% odds of going in her mouth instead of on the floor. I just keep giving her the foods the rest of the family is eating so she has the opportunity; if she doesn't eat, she doesn't eat. When she's ready to start eating more she will. 

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  • He just hit a year.

    1) Make sure his tray isn't divided--because then he can easily avoid the textures and tastes he doesn't trust. When the tastes and textures mingle (as he is sloshing around to feed himself)---it provides opportunity. Tray separation is better for when you know they are going to eat everything.

    2) Do not react to either him eating, or not eating food. AT ALL. You can silently have a party if he tries something new---but keep it to yourself. The same for when he does not eat something. The primary concentration when eating should be on things other than the food.

    3)  It is not unusual for a child just getting used to solids to have sensory 'issues' with food. Rice is not exactly the easiest texture to get used to.

    4) Continue to give him new things---and reduce the amount of things he is familiar with on his plate. Or integrate the new things with the familiar things. Instead of ham--replace with turkey, instead of butter try soybutter....  he may turn his nose to it, or try to scrap it off--either way move forward and try again.  

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  • imageMrs.Saxy:

    imagemavs_girl07:
    Also just try playing with his food.  You can use an old stuffed animal or a laminated picture of a person or favorite TV character and pretend to feed the food to them, let him feed the food to you.  Just let him play play play in it and get used to what it feels like.  If it doesn't get better after trying some of those things, I'd look into a feeding eval.  GL!
    NO! My cousin's DD had food issues and had to see specialists. They said absolutely NOT play games and do the airplane thing to "trick" them in to eating. That's using reverse psychology then the kid will really resist food.

     

    Just keep introducing it and giving him the opportunity.  

    I didn't say to trick him into eating it.  Of course you're not supposed to trick them into eating.  But playing with food gets them used to different foods and textures without the pressure of having to eat it.  I work with lots of kids who have sensory issues and texture aversions, one of the very first things we do with them is allow them to play with the food and get used to it in a "fun" way without any pressure.

    ETA: When I made my first post, I didn't know the LO was so young.  I can't see tickers, for whatever reason.  Anyway, to the OP- if he's just over a year, then yeah I'd give him more time.  Keep offering a good variety in addition to things you know he'll eat.  I would still encourage him to play in it and touch his food in a fun way, so he can get used to different textures.  But at this point he's still so little I wouldn't be too concerned. 

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  • Ellyn Satter, all the way. She has great advice. My older son took until almost 18 mos before he became less picky about foods. 
    DS1 - Feb 2008

    DS2 - Oct 2010 (my VBAC baby!)

  • I've decided that picky eating is totally normal.  My friends and I call it "The dinner battle."  It's frustrating as heck to us, as parents.  Especially when you know your child actually LIKES the food you've offered them.  Last week, my son was doing this and I was complaining to my friend about it.  Then just last night she and her DD were over.  Her daughter didn't want her dinner, which she usually likes.  She just kept saying "no." over and over to it.  I really think it's normal for kids this age to just be picky and not know what they want.  Sometimes we go through 4 or 5 foods a night just to get him to take in some nutrients!  Just hang in there and keep trying. 
    Little Man 1.8.11
    Freshie Girl 9.29.12
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