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April 2012 Moms
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Red Egg and Ginger Party (also mil frustration) Long

Daniellemf1228Daniellemf1228
in April 2012 Moms

So Kiernan is 1/2 Chinese (my husband) and we are having a Red Egg and Ginger Party.  If you are unfamiliar it is a party that happens any time from one month of age to 100 days and celebrates the birth of the baby, a healthy long and happy life, and also acts as a meet and greet for friends and relatives.  

Kiernan's party is next saturday.  This has been drama since my pregnancy.  My husband and I wanted to throw this party but his mother wanted to.  We stood our ground because she wanted only Chinese people there (other than my immediate family) and we wanted to have our friends there.  We also wanted to be able to have control over a party for our child.  She reluctantly agreed but then still was insistent on how we did the party and that she be allowed to invite 20 people.  EVERYTHING has been an issue from venue to food to the number of people she can invite... Everything. 

I think that I am doing well planning it.  I found a room to have it in where it can fit 50 people, I have a pretty extensive menu that includes plenty of chinese food (she wanted all chinese so her friends would be happy) and did alot of research on the tradition.  Today my husband was talking to her and he told her that my mom would be helping me dye the 8 dozen eggs red.  She got angry and said "No I am dyeing them, the father's mother is supposed to"  Well... I have never seen that the father's mother is supposed to dye them.  Also she has not discussed her plans of dying them with us so what was she going to do just show up with a pile of eggs?  She refuses to relinquish control over this party as well as anything.  

This weekend she called Kiernan her daughter.  Not in a joking way but a very serious way.  She told her cousin I am a pretty good mother "for my age"  and calls me and my husband to let us know it is hot out and we should not take Kiernan outside.  We are her parents.  We know what is safe or not, we can throw this party and if you planned on doing that then talk to us.  She treats us like we are teen parents that accidentally got pregnant and are begging for her help.  I am so so angry and frustrated because it has been something everyday for the past few days.   

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Re: Red Egg and Ginger Party (also mil frustration) Long

  • IzzygrimIzzygrim member
    Ugh, I'm sorry she is being such a pain. It is giving me flashbacks to wedding planning MIL drama, ick! I have a controling MIL as well so I don't really have any advice, just wanted to say I feel for ya. Good for you for standing your ground and hosting the party yourselves! Do you have to deal with issues like this with your MIL often? Would it work for your H to kindly remind her that you guys have it under control and that you are the parents? Or is she the type where that won't matter?
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  • Daniellemf1228Daniellemf1228
    We have tried, it does not matter.  He kept telling me "after the wedding it will be better." Then "after the pregnancy when the baby arrives it will be better."  There are not more after's left...
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