Small vent...to the only women in the world that understand

LightTouch · July 2012

I hate men, they are missing a gene or something...and clearly I was missing a brain when I married that dumba$$. But I will fix this...I will do EVERYTHING in my power for my little girl to not grow-up around that selfish, worthless, bast@rd.

That is all...(and probably more than enough, right??)

dmndsr4eva · July 2012

Right!? I feel ya. Have you seen the Tyler Perry Madea movies? Those movies are so hilarious. I watched the new one this weekend and there's a lot of stuff about exes fighting. It is on the other end, but the old man in the movie keeps saying bad stuff about his exes and he said something about creating his own phone line for compliants about exes and it would be 1-800-choke-that-hoe. LOL.

scout426 · July 2012

Seriously what's with all the man hating baby dada drama on here as of late. Sometimes this place feels more like babygaga.

Roselis · July 2012

This group stopped being about supporting each other as single parents and instead bashing the X, or legal issues, or asking about last names and things like that. I still stop by on occassion, but I stopped being a regular many months ago.

PrettyInPearls23 · July 2012

I was a regular, then a regular lurker...now I barely even lurk because of the posts on this board. I just don't have the energy to do it.

LightTouch · July 2012

Well, girls, I didn't mean to rain on anyones parade. I was the one to ask not that long ago if people on this board discussed anything other than CS, Custody, and other things that require legal advice. (of course, we all know, you choose to click on a post and to read it...)

I had a phone call from the X today and it just started my morning off wrong. I don't hear from him ever, thank god, but when I do, it is always because of money.

I would prefer to discuss other things that single moms deal with...not man bash. (and honestly, I don't ususally waste my breath to bash the X cause anytime spent doing that was a waste of my time.)

rockabetty1 · July 2012

Sorry but for some of us, we are barely learning to adjust to the fact that we will be single moms. I didn't know we couldn't post about the things we're going through as we deal with it.

mamastich · July 2012

Hey my X was a nut but I still love men haha

twister22 · July 2012

Seriously?! I hope this is not the message you will send to your DD.

Judge Michael Haas says it beautifully "Your children have come into this world because of the two of you. Perhaps you two made lousy choices as to whom you decided to be the other parent. If so, that is your problem and your fault.

No matter what you think of the other party-or what your family thinks of the other party-these children are one-half of each of you. Remember that, because every time you tell your child what an "idiot" his father is, or what a "fool" his mother is, or how bad the absent parent is, or what terrible things that person has done, you are telling the child half of him is bad.

That is an unforgivable thing to do to a child. That is not love. That is possession. If you do that to your children, you will destroy them as surely as if you had cut them into pieces, because that is what you are doing to their emotions.

I sincerely hope that you do not do that to your children. Think more about your children and less about yourselves, and make yours a selfless kind of love, not foolish or selfish, or your children will suffer."

Before you flame me, know this: I have felt exactly what you have felt. But then do you know what happened? I realized how incredibly selfish I was being. Yes, my DS BD is a loser, who has done some truly heinous things, and I still cannot believe I procreated with HIM. But, I did, and now, for the rest of my life, I will have to deal with the consequences of that. I know to never bash my DS BD in front of him - that's his dad whether I like it or not. Your DD will pick up on your negative attitude, and that is not good for her. If your DD's BD wants to be in his DD life, then he will be. You do not want to be the BM that hits her teens and wonders why her BD isn't involved and then learns that it is because you wouldn't let him be - she will resent you for that.

My DS BD has done truly awful things to me, and even some truly awful things to our DS. That is why I put a million safeguards in our CO. Even though I don't like BD, he has visitation rights, and I will NEVER try to discourage a relationship between my DS and his BD.

I hope this is just a vent, and that you won't truly try to take a parent away from your DD.

chefnicole22 · July 2012

twister22:
Seriously?! I hope this is not the message you will send to your DD.
Judge Michael Haas says it beautifully "Your children have come into this world because of the two of you. Perhaps you two made lousy choices as to whom you decided to be the other parent. If so, that is your problem and your fault.
No matter what you think of the other party-or what your family thinks of the other party-these children are one-half of each of you. Remember that, because every time you tell your child what an "idiot" his father is, or what a "fool" his mother is, or how bad the absent parent is, or what terrible things that person has done, you are telling the child half of him is bad.
That is an unforgivable thing to do to a child. That is not love. That is possession. If you do that to your children, you will destroy them as surely as if you had cut them into pieces, because that is what you are doing to their emotions.
I sincerely hope that you do not do that to your children. Think more about your children and less about yourselves, and make yours a selfless kind of love, not foolish or selfish, or your children will suffer."
Before you flame me, know this: I have felt exactly what you have felt. But then do you know what happened? I realized how incredibly selfish I was being. Yes, my DS BD is a loser, who has done some truly heinous things, and I still cannot believe I procreated with HIM. But, I did, and now, for the rest of my life, I will have to deal with the consequences of that. I know to never bash my DS BD in front of him - that's his dad whether I like it or not. Your DD will pick up on your negative attitude, and that is not good for her. If your DD's BD wants to be in his DD life, then he will be. You do not want to be the BM that hits her teens and wonders why her BD isn't involved and then learns that it is because you wouldn't let him be - she will resent you for that.
My DS BD has done truly awful things to me, and even some truly awful things to our DS. That is why I put a million safeguards in our CO. Even though I don't like BD, he has visitation rights, and I will NEVER try to discourage a relationship between my DS and his BD.
I hope this is just a vent, and that you won't truly try to take a parent away from your DD.

In some situations it's better for the other parent to not be involved at all. Don't just jump to conclusions about others based on your own experience please. But I do agree you should be careful about how you talk about the father in front of them and don't go bashing them any chance you get.

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