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Babies: 0 - 3 Months
She won't sleep alone!
So I'm a co-sleeping mommy, which is awesome for now, but I'm trying to get DD to sleep in her own crib at least a couple of naps a day. Problem is, once I put her down she manages to wake herself up within 10 minutes and just starts screaming. DH and I started co-sleeping with her because she sleeps for longer stretches when she's with me and even longer when it's both of us. Tonight I decided to try letting her self-soothe to get back to sleep instead of me getting her, changing her, and nursing her every 40 minutes. Problem is, mommy instinct kicks in and I can't let her cry for more than 5-10 minutes. We're having such a hard time getting normal sleep patterns begun, let alone established. Anyone have any advice or helpful tips they could pass on?
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Re: She won't sleep alone!
One month is too young to let her cry it out or self soothe - she can't. I believe self soothing is realistic at closer to 4 months or so.
If you want her to sleep on her own, maybe try a rock n play or cuddle cove?
We got a cuddle cove with our PNP (Graco). It pops out and stands on its own. We put her in the cove inside her crib. This way she gets used to the crib and her room, but she still feels cuddly and secure.
We will start weaning her out of this and into the flat crib this month, when she will be 3 months old.
Self soothing at THREE weeks? Oh pllllleasse. With all due respect, she is not able to self soothe so I'm not exactly sure how you expect letting her CIO would be successful.
Can you swaddle? Or, rock her to sleep then put her down and keep your hand somewhere on her body (head/chest) for a good 5-10 minutes after she falls asleep do she can feel you there while she falls into a deeper sleep.
Lurker, but seriously - relax. I know how hard those first weeks are, but your baby isn't even 4 weeks old. She's too young to self soothe, she's too young to be expected to nap independently, even. She's absolutely too young to be left to cry it out for 5-10 minutes.
Neither of my babies took naps alone at that age - they were typically in a Moby or a swing with me in the same room soothing as necessary. That wasn't spoiling, that was caring for a newborn. They naturally started napping better as time went on.
Give it time. She's a newborn. You're expecting too much of her.
(read it. you know you want to.)
anderson . september 2008
vivian . february 2010
mabel . august 2012
3w??
Oh boy.
Try spanking her for not sleeping for an 8hr stretch. I heard that works great, too.
Some kids are great sleepers, some are crappy sleepers. Even the most hard lined CIO advocates don't recommend this technique until closer to 4m.
Many professional sleep consultants state that sleep training is most effective after they are a year old.
You, as the parent get to decide when the best time to introduce sleep training is. But at 3w?!?! Yeah, good luck with that.
BFP #3 via cancelled IUI ~ C (2lb 3oz; HELLP) 5/16/11
BFP #4 via the natural (free!) way ~ E (8lb 11oz) 9/13/12
We use the RnP for some naps during the day, and I swaddle at night or whenever I put him in his crib. Otherwise he would wake himself up from his crazy arms
The routine we use is Feed/Waketime(Play)/Sleep. Its from the book BabyWise and it has worked for us. The first few weeks just work on giving her a full meal, no constant snacking. You may want to read the book, and use the info that you like. My LO is 6 weeks, and this routine has worked for me. This way they don't need food to fall alseep, they fall asleep after the playtime, and learn to self sooth over time.
And is does get easier, I promise. I'm a FTM with zero baby experience and you'll learn what she needs.
With all due respect, Babywise has been found to be damaging to babies and has been linked to failure to thrive, malnutrition, and emotional issues. Please do your research before following this. A newborn doesn't have a "schedule" nor a "routine." That is blasphemy. Newborns want what they want when they need it. Denying them is cruel.
Yes! The first thing I knew even before I had a child was when you have a newborn you are on his/her schedule not them on yours!
Sleep training a newborn isn't "learning what she needs". It's forcing her to adapt what YOU want, instead of finding a way to deal with your own sleep deprivation and feeding/soothing/attending to her.
Like one poster said some kids don't sleep well...mine is almost 3 and still doesn't even, though we have a very set routine...your kid is 3 weeks old
1. CIO at this age is just dumb (not to be rude I just don't know any other word to use for it) ---obviously they need something so give it to them (whatever it maybe...some kids just like to be held)
2. Get a sling...my DS slept in his all the time when he was little because he didn't like being put down (it didn't spoil him, he's EXTREMELY independent)
3. 3 weeks old is a rough stage anyway whatever it is about that 3 week mark is just hard. They cry and cry a lot.
Please enjoy this time with your NB and don't worry about a "schedule" they are only little once, you only get to cuddle them once, you only get to spend that alone time with them in the middle of the night once (even if you are tired it's so amazing to sit with them when the house is quite)...don't stress!
There have actually been cases of babies dying of malnutrition specifically due to "sleep training" at such a young age. Even Dr. Ferber, the man whose name is synonymous with CIO, says not to start sleep training until at least 4 months.
The newborn stage sucks. You are going to be exhausted, emotional, and likely smell bad at times (from lack of showers). It will get better and a year or two from now, this phase will seem so transient.
Hang in there! Swaddling was and still is a huge help to us to help DS sleep.
A sling or Moby wrap might also be helpful for naps during the day. Also, when he was a newborn, he loved the swing. Swaddle + swing = naptastic
This too shall pass. (and believe it or not, you will miss these days<--- coming from a mom whose newborn had colic, reflux, and ear problems...ie screamed for seemingly most of his time awake).
Good advice already given. This is a tough stage, but before you know it your baby will be sleeping much longer stretches and you will have adapted.
As the others said get a sling, moby, or some other baby carrier - it will be your best friend. At this age it is good for babies to be held and cuddled as often as you can possibly manage.
The Happiest Baby on the Block has some great tips on how to transition little ones from sleeping on/with you to sleeping on their own using swings/swaddles and other wonderful things.
As the other's stated your baby is too little for CIO at this time. Not only will it likely not work (other than the baby passing out from exhaustion
) it can be damaging according to some studies. Don't beat yourself up, just move on and try something new 
Don't let anyone tell you that you are spoiling your baby - rock, cuddle, snuggle and enjoy this stage. It feels like forever in the moment, but trust me it will be over in a blink!
Good luck!
Out of curiosity, do you breastfeed?
Because nothing will kill your supply faster than this method. Unless you have a oversupply, then this may help to tame it down.
BFP #3 via cancelled IUI ~ C (2lb 3oz; HELLP) 5/16/11
BFP #4 via the natural (free!) way ~ E (8lb 11oz) 9/13/12
This.
Eleanor Noelle - 18/05/12 Claire Elisabeth - 16/-5/10