Military legal separation? — The Bump
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Military legal separation?

So I posted a few weeks ago about my H wanting a divorce.  After trying to work through some of our issues, he basically still wants to call it quits because I don't trust him (he hid some stupid things like chewing tobacco and drinking from me for a long time)... So my lack of trust prevents him from going out with his buddies and drinking.  I have tried to get him to attempt to rebuild trust, as I do not want to get a divorce, but he just assumes I need to get over it.

 

Anyway, I have decided to file for a legal separation and move out.  From my understanding, I can get a court order that will require him to pay me a portion of the BAH and BAS.  My question is, how is the military going to look at this, exactly? I keep hearing that he will be "raked over the coals" and that the military is going to "rip him a new one", etc.

Is this true?  Frankly, I kind of hope it is.  After all is said and done, I still want to fight for the marriage, and he doesn't. 

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Re: Military legal separation?

  • Why would he be "raked over the coals?" Once you file for legal separation you are entitled to BAH, that's it and only until the divorce is final. You'll lose your on base benefits once the divorce is final but your kids will remain covered under tricare. Once the divorce is final and you have a custody agreement, child support will be taken directly out of his paycheck as long as he stays enlisted. If you have issues with him not paying, inform his command. We used to get a lot of calls when I worked at the IG and we always refer it back to the command to resolve the issue. Are they aware you're separating? 

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    CJ 05/29/2013

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  • What branch is he in? How it worked for me (my ex was army and we were at Bragg) was I had to go to a brief on base. They told me there that in lieu of any legal paperwork he had to pay me spousal support based on his rank. It wasn't his exact BAH but some percentage of it. (He was e-4 and was supposed to pay me 684 a month...or something like that.) When I lived in our house off post he paid the mortgage and I was told this was the equivalent to spousal support so I couldn't ask him to pay me directly. If you guys do get a legal separation he will have to follow that but I'd find out how much the Army wants him to pay you first and go from there so you aren't selling yourself short. The military will do its best to be fair to both parties so I'm not sure why he would get the brunt of it. He probably won't be happy about having to pay you spousal support though.
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  • imageBacon+lettuce+tomato:
    Why would he be "raked over the coals?" Once you file for legal separation you are entitled to BAH, that's it and only until the divorce is final. You'll lose your on base benefits once the divorce is final but your kids will remain covered under tricare. Once the divorce is final and you have a custody agreement, child support will be taken directly out of his paycheck as long as he stays enlisted. If you have issues with him not paying, inform his command. We used to get a lot of calls when I worked at the IG and we always refer it back to the command to resolve the issue. Are they aware you're separating? 
    I have no idea why he would be raked over the coals. Like I said, that's just what I keep hearing from people. I didn't think the military would even care. They do not know we are separating yet. I have to wait until Friday to even make an appointment to speak with an attorney. I have also heard that I will just be instructed to contact a civilian attorney. And if that's the case, I'm not gonna wait until Friday to get the ball rolling.
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  • Yeah, JAG lawyers don't deal with divorce you'll have to go civilian.
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  • imagehansonam446:
    Yeah, JAG lawyers don't deal with divorce you'll have to go civilian.

     

    This is true but I'd keep your appt at JAG so they can advise on the BAH situation and such. I'd also consider informing your FRG liaison to inform his command  

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    CJ 05/29/2013

  • imageBacon+lettuce+tomato:

    imagehansonam446:
    Yeah, JAG lawyers don't deal with divorce you'll have to go civilian.

     

    This is true but I'd keep your appt at JAG so they can advise on the BAH situation and such. I'd also consider informing your FRG liaison to inform his command  

     

    True, JAG can tell you your rights as far as the separation but here at Bragg they won't do legal separation agreements but I don't know if other bases are different. But you will need an actual civilian lawyer for the divorce itself. 

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  • While at jag you can also change your wills and medical directives since you probably don't want your husband to decide your medical treatment if you are unable to do so. Depending on the lawyer you get, they will advise you on your divorce. They just can't draw up documents or represent you. I didn't pay for a lawyer because I made friends with one at Legal and he gladly looked over my divorce agreement and property settlement. BUT you have children and you need your own lawyer. My divorce is pretty straight forward. 
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  • imagemummyofsix:

    JAG did my legal separation, no civilians involved at all. It covered custody of our son, distribution of debts and assets, everything. That was USMC, in NC. They drew up the documents, did the whole thing. I am always puzzled by the many people who say they can't/ won't, because they certainly did for us. Its worth a check into. 

     ETA: XH and I agreed upon a set amount that he was to pay me for CS, I never was bothered with more than that and that was written into the agreement. I have no idea on what you are entitled to in regards to BAS, etc.  Good luck. 

    Not all bases offer this. At Ft Bragg, they told us at the briefing they do NOT do legal separations. They used to but stopped.

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  • imagemummyofsix:

    JAG did my legal separation, no civilians involved at all. It covered custody of our son, distribution of debts and assets, everything. That was USMC, in NC. They drew up the documents, did the whole thing. I am always puzzled by the many people who say they can't/ won't, because they certainly did for us. Its worth a check into. 

     ETA: XH and I agreed upon a set amount that he was to pay me for CS, I never was bothered with more than that and that was written into the agreement. I have no idea on what you are entitled to in regards to BAS, etc.  Good luck. 

     

    I would say 99.9999% of bases do not deal with civil maters. Why because it is a huge conflict of interest. Routinely I believe legal gives you information on basic entitlements, and advises you to seek a civilian lawyer ASAP. I worked family court in Colorado Springs and many of the clients were military members because base legal does NOT help in these issues.

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