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Surname issues.....

gdunai88gdunai88
in Single Parents

Alright ladies, need some opinions here. Last week I recently ended a verbally ( and potentially) abusive relationship with my s/o with no chances of reconciliation.  Granted we are only 13 wks 3 days along, a big issue that he has brought up repeatedly is what last name the child should have.... 

Has anyone encountered an issue such as this before and what is a proper way to handle it? And I know laws and regulations are different by state, but do I legally have to give the child  the father's last name at birth?

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Re: Surname issues.....

  • Snow__White__QueenSnow__White__Queen member
    imagegdunai88:

    Alright ladies, need some opinions here. Last week I recently ended a verbally ( and potentially) abusive relationship with my s/o with no chances of reconciliation.  Granted we are only 13 wks 3 days along, a big issue that he has brought up repeatedly is what last name the child should have.... 

    Has anyone encountered an issue such as this before and what is a proper way to handle it? And I know laws and regulations are different by state, but do I legally have to give the child  the father's last name at birth?

    Nope :) Since it sounds like the two of you aren't married nor ever have been, then can give her whatever name YOU choose. If you're going for child support and all that, law might require you to put his name on the BC. In my state (TX), the two of us would have to sign the Acknowledgement of Paternity stating that he is the biological father and that he does have rights as such, in which case, his name would need to go on the BC. But as far as the name goes, its up to you. That is currently an issue with me and BD. 

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  • pinitbabypinitbaby member

    I live in Canada so I don't know how different it is there but it might save you a bunch of hassle if you just give the baby the father's last name. I'm really upset at my baby's father as he promised me the world and then I found him in bed with someone else 5 weeks ago so I told him I didn't want him there when my daughter is born and I wouldn't be giving her his last name. However I've learned it will cause me an issue or two when I go after him for child support so I'm just going to put his last name down as hers. If he denies her then I'd have to get a dna test done and I believe I'd have to pay for it and me being a single mom already can't afford not having that child support or forking out 1000bux for dna.

    Whatever you chose hun its your decision but hes already made your life hard, don't make it harder for yourself. He doesn't deserve to have that kind of energy from  you. GL :)

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  • gdunai88gdunai88

    In my state  we have similiar laws as well. According to outside legal sources I was told that  since we were not married, he technically has no legal rights to baby  and by law I don't have to have be there at birth to sign the certificate but has a few options such as signing the AOP beforehand or requesting paternity testing to be done after birth.

    I am glad that I am not the only one facing issues such as this though. 

     

    Side note, how is the weather in TX?  :)

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  • Snow__White__QueenSnow__White__Queen member
    imagegdunai88:

    In my state  we have similiar laws as well. According to outside legal sources I was told that  since we were not married, he technically has no legal rights to baby  and by law I don't have to have be there at birth to sign the certificate but has a few options such as signing the AOP beforehand or requesting paternity testing to be done after birth.

    I am glad that I am not the only one facing issues such as this though. 

     

    Side note, how is the weather in TX?  :)

    Hot as hell! lol 

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  • gdunai88gdunai88
    Same here. Since where I lived had a winter of mostly 60+  degree days( abnormal for the upper midwest), I was hoping for a cooler summer. Boy was I wrong!
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  • preggersin2011preggersin2011 member
    As far as I know, the name you give your child is a choice, not a law. The last name of the child doesn't even need to be either the parent's names. State law depending, the 'father' cannot be listed on the birth certificate unless you are legally married or paternity is acknowledged. (i put 'father' because the person you are legally married to might not be the biological father)
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  • gdunai88gdunai88
    Thanks  ladies for the insight :) This definitely gives me things to think about.
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  • rsp247rsp247 member

    I'm in the same boat as you. My ex was all you need to give the baby my last name and at first I said okay, but after I decided to leave him for my safety as well as the baby's at 9 weeks sh!t hit the fan. 

    I tried being civil with him and keeping him updated but he didn't seem very interested and after I refused to go to dinner with him to talk about things he said he wanted nothing to do with the baby. He still feels that I should give the baby his last name because he has a child from a previous relationship and they should have the same last name.

    Yea..... No. I will be giving her my last name as I know that he will not have anything to do with her. I know it will be easier for me with registering her for school and such. I had a different name last name from my mother growing up and it was confusing for me since my father wasn't in my life. 

    From what I understand it should have no effect on getting CS so don't let him bully you into giving the baby his last name. Down the road you can always change the name to his last name, but it is really hard to get it changed back to yours. 

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